Wedding Invitations & Paper

RSVP for Ceremony and Reception?

To start with our wedding is being held out of town, FI's family lives close to the venue, but my family all lives 2.5-3 hours away.  Originally FI and I planned on having a small private ceremony inviting only immediate family (parents, siblings and grandparents).  However my mom was not okay with it at all. She said that because my family is driving from out of town to go to the wedding they should be invited to the ceremony as well; there are like 10-20 people that she specifically thinks should be invited ( aunt and family, very close family friend, great aunt). I'm fine with inviting these people to the ceremony but I'm not okay telling FI's family that they cant come to the ceremony so we decided to invite everyone to the ceremony which we have both pretty much accepted.

The problem is our ceremony location is relatively small and we have to tell the venue how many people will be attending so they set up that many chairs. We are not doing a traditional RSVP but have planned on doing email or phone for older non tech savy relatives.  So far I planned on saying

Please kindly reply by DATE with the names of attendees.

Email myemail@gmail.com

Call 920.xxx.xxxx or 608.xxx.xxxx

How do I include that we need them to confirm if they are coming to the ceremony as well as the reception?

Re: RSVP for Ceremony and Reception?

  • Maybe provide a check box?

    ___ I will be attending the ceremony and reception
    ___ I will only be attending the reception
    ___ I will not be attending, regrettably

    something to that effect. 
  • You are doing the right thing by inviting those traveling several hours and therefore extending it to your FIs family.  Assume that an RSVP of yes means they are coming to the ceremony and reception.  I would reconsider the traditional RSVP.  Older, non-tech savvy folks are used to mailing back their RSVPs.
  • Only the people to whom the invitation is addressed will be RSVPing. That means you don't need to ask the names of people attending.

  • Since you are planning an interactive RSVP rather than paper-in-mail, I would simply ask them when they call or email. "Will you also be attending the ceremony...great, the ceremony venue wanted exact numbers.!
  • I love that idea! That never even occurred to me! Thank you so much :)
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