Wedding Party

Maid of Honour being difficult

my MOH is my sister. When I first showed her my wedding colour her exclamation was "You don't exactly expect me to wear green do you". So instead of being selfish and forcing her to wear my favourite colour I offered her a few other second choice colours which to be honest I was still a little upset that I was trying to accommodate her instead of her accommodate me since it is my wedding. I prefered that she wear a long elegant gown but she wants to wear something short which again not my first choice but is tolerable for me. But now she wants to wear royal blue which is her favourite colour, I really like this colour too but not for my wedding colours as I find it too overpowering and would prefer a lighter blue shade.

Too be honest my MOH is being really diffcult with her dress and colour, in fact she is acting as if this is her wedding. I have offered to change my own wedding colours for her but I cannot change them to a colour if I do not think they are appropriate for my wedding.

At this point I am considering on buying a dress we both saw and liked (except she wont agree to wear the colour I prefer) and asking her to wear it for the ceremony and wedding photos and then she can be free to change into whatever she wants to wear for the party afterwards. Can you please tell me what you think?

Maybe 30 years down the line we will both laugh at the photos and say "what was I thinking!!" but for now shouldn't she just grin and bear it? I only plan to hopefully get married once and I am sorry if I sound selfish, but this is my wedding not hers.

Re: Maid of Honour being difficult

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited July 2013

    Did you discuss her budget for the dress with her? Are you letting her pick her own style within certain requirements (you chose long and a specific color but she can choose straps/strapless/etc)?  If the dresses she's selecting from fall within her budget she shouldn't complain. 

    One of my bridesmaids has a fear of wearing purple (quite literally. She has a history of vomiting when she wears it)...  My color is purple (as well as the wedding she's in a week before mine!)...but she's sucking it up because that's what myself and the other bride the week prior have both chosen.  Your sister needs to do the same.

  • we didn't discuss budget. She knows I am on a budget but I offered to buy her a dress and to consider it as a gift from me (I plan to give her also another thank you gift, something that she does not have to wear to the wedding). But she declined and said she would prefer to pay for it. I think that she believes if she is paying for it that she can be in more control with what she wears. Her dress sense is not bad at all, but at the end of the day my wedding is not about her taste but mine.

    Thank you for your opinion, my fiance also believes she needs to suck it up.


  • She should wear what you choose within reason, i.e. it's within her budget, a color that doesn't do unflattering things to her, she's comfortable in it. She doesn't get to pick the color just because it's her favorite.
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Ugh...your sister sucks. Could you pull rank from one of your parents? I hate to go that route but your sister is being particularly difficult and you may need to unleash bridezilla if she continues and I'd hate to see someone do that.
  • unfortunately our parents passed away, so I think being the eldest I will have to pull rank and just buy the dress we both liked but in the color I prefer and ask her to wear it to make me happy as its my wedding day and promise to make it up to her afterwards.

    I am a clothing stylist so the colours I have selected are not unflattering for her, she is attractive and lucky enough to have a body that flatters any dress she wears.
  • Yeah, she needs to wear the color you want her to wear. Tell her when she gets married she can choose the colors of the wedding. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I was was in a wedding once when the color was a dark red and we had a freckled red head girl in the party. She HATED wearing that color (and it wasn't the most flattering color on her), but I only heard her complain quietly once to another girl but that was the color the bride wanted and she wore and smiled all day for her!

    I think that's annoying that your sister is being such a pain, you offered to buy her dress, change your colors and even let her change for the reception, I think you are being more then accommodating for her!
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    Anniversary
  • Hurray!!! I got result. I spoke with her earlier about the dress we both liked and asked her why she didn't like the colour I selected and she said it was too bright and not something she would wear again. So I replied, that it would only be fair therefore, that I pay for the dress and that she would be doing me a great favour if she wore that colour and if she felt really uncomfortable she can just wear it for the ceremony and photos and for the party to change into whatever she wanted. She told me I was being ridiculous and that it was not so expensive and that she would purchase the dress this week.
    I am pretty sure she is thinking "payback is a B****!!" and at her wedding I will end up wearing a PIGGY PINK colour!!!

    By the way this is the dress and colour that I selected for her:
  • here is the dress and colour I selected:
  • the dress:
    Pretty!!
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  • Assuming she has the right body for it (which you said she does) I think that's very pretty. I for one like bright, especially if it's spring/summer.

    Glad it worked out. :)

  • aurianna said:
    Assuming she has the right body for it (which you said she does) I think that's very pretty. I for one like bright, especially if it's spring/summer.

    Glad it worked out. :)
    I thought empire waist was pretty much universally flattering...

    That dress is very pretty.  The last wedding I was in the bride had us order from lightinthebox, which is a knockoff site, and I wound up having to trade dresses with the MOH.  She had ordered a size smaller and is actually thinner than I am, but I must be missing a rib since  her's fit me and mine fit her, lol.
    image

    Previously Alaynajuliana


  • I agree, that dress is bright.. but it is your wedding. The dress has been chosen and that's that. I am having my sister, who is also my MOH, and my bridesmaid choose their own dress.  I have the color that it will be in but because their body type is so different they will get to choose the style of dress that best suits them, in the same length of course.
  • Ajuliana said:

    aurianna said:
    Assuming she has the right body for it (which you said she does) I think that's very pretty. I for one like bright, especially if it's spring/summer.

    Glad it worked out. :)
    I thought empire waist was pretty much universally flattering...

    That dress is very pretty.  The last wedding I was in the bride had us order from lightinthebox, which is a knockoff site, and I wound up having to trade dresses with the MOH.  She had ordered a size smaller and is actually thinner than I am, but I must be missing a rib since  her's fit me and mine fit her, lol.
    I really just meant "assuming it's flattering / looks good on her" in a generic way. I wasn't trying to make any statements about the dress' not looking good on most people.
    I just trust nothing on models or on the hanger. Always have to see it on. :)
  • I'd hate that color too, but I'm glad she decided to wear it. This is one of those I see both sides things. As a BM, I have worn some awful stuff and never complained, but as a bride, I couldn't bear for my wedding to be that kind of experience for my attendants, so, I worked with them to find a color they were comfortable with. In your case, I probably would have let her wear the dress in black or gray and given it a pop of the blue with flowers or something.
    This.  I had to wear a dress that color & style once and haaaaaaaaaaaated it.  Loathed to the core of my being.  I still wore it and smiled but I hated it.  

    However, I would hate to do that to someone I love, hence I will either be picking a color (something basic and hopefully not distasteful to anyone) and saying "pick anything you like" (if I had been able to buy a dress that color that was more of a party/hot night out dress, I would have liked it) or just letting them where any dress they feel pretty in.

    All that said, glad it worked out for you guys.

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