Sorry, this is long. I'm the maid of honor to my best friend, and she has let the bridal party understand that I know her the best out of all the girls. The bride shared with me that she really hoped for a destination bachelorette party in Las Vegas or Miami. So, on the day when we went bridal dress shopping all together, I shared that with the rest of the bridesmaids while she was in the dressing room just to get the feel of what everyone thinks and we can start planning for a weekend since it's not close to us and we would also be inviting her guests that would be able to come.
I had already asked my best friend for the guest list for both the bachelorette and the shower. She has done so much for me and I want her to have the bridal shower I think she would love, and recently, I offered to host the bridal shower for her as a gift from me to her. At first, she said she didn't want to put that stress on me, and that I should split it with the other bridesmaids. So I said if she preferred that I don't, then I will do whatever will make her happy, but then she said she was honored and she was excited that I offered. A few days later, another bridesmaid (her sister in law), started asking her questions about the bachelorette and what she wanted which is fine, but then she asked my bf about the shower. And my bf said that I was planning her shower and that I already have the guest list. The bridesmaid starts saying that it's not fair that I got to plan it, and that she has ideas too, and what if she wanted to pay for her shower? My bf is not good with unexpected questions like that, but she told me that what she wanted to say was that I'm her maid of honor, and that's why I'm planning it. But she's so sweet, and doesn't want to hurt any feelings. Anyways, the bridesmaid asked if she could have the shower guest list also. My bf said yes, but she called me that night to talk about the situation. She decided that she would have to talk to the the bridesmaid (her sil) and explain to her what the role of a maid of honor does.
I guess I'm not upset if the bridesmaid doesn't understand what a maid of honor means, but that she even put the bride through that and even asked for the guest list after my best friend told her I was planning the shower and already had the guest list. In my opinion, if the bride already wanted me to throw her the shower, then contact me about your ideas. If I think the bride would like that, then I will include that. If I don't, then I prob won't use it. I already planned to pay for everything so it's not like I'm asking any of the bridesmaids for money. If course, if they wanted to help in other ways such as decorate, make favors, or pick up cake, etc, that would be greatly appreciated.
How would you handle this situation?