Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Marriage License Question-Couldn't find this anywhere else in the boards.

After plans A, B, and C have gone down the toilet for our wedding, we've decided to do a Civil Ceremony the week before our Sunday date. My question is this: Can we have the date be written on our marriage certificate/license as the Sunday date, not the actual date of our CC? I'd like to try, as our date is one of the few matters in our lives that haven't been ripped out of our control. It is special to us, and we'd like to maintain it as our official date, if possible. If not, we'll just celebrate on the original date and nobody's none the wiser; the only people that will know the truth are our witnesses and us, really.

Re: Marriage License Question-Couldn't find this anywhere else in the boards.

  • I wouldn't think you'd be able to do that, but I would check with your clerk's office or whoever issues marriage licenses because it would probably vary by city/state. Why can't you just have your civil ceremony on the day you want?




  • I can't have it on our date because the date we chose is a Sunday. They only do CCs on M-F. Ironically, we'd chosen the date partly *because* it's a Sunday and therefore, more budget-friendly.

    We need 2 ceremonies because we can't seem to find a minister willing AND able to do it for us that day, but we can only have a handful of people at our CC. Every minister we've asked has either dropped off the face of the earth and stopped corresponding, requires us to take expensive Pre-marital counseling (not against it, just too dang broke), or has a sky-high fee. Trust me, this was NOT plan A. 

    We're just trying to get married and have SOMETHING go how we want it to. We've lost 2 venues, my wedding coordinator completely screwed everything up, so we lost another venue, hair & makeup, and all of our rentals/things borrowed, FI and I lost 3 jobs between the 2 of us, and the tax returns we were going to use for our wedding are now going to car repairs AFTER we lost our jobs. I don't want to do it this way, but we really have no choice. I'm so frustrated and discouraged, I could cry, except I already have a headache, hehe.
  • After plans A, B, and C have gone down the toilet for our wedding, we've decided to do a Civil Ceremony the week before our Sunday date. My question is this: Can we have the date be written on our marriage certificate/license as the Sunday date, not the actual date of our CC? I'd like to try, as our date is one of the few matters in our lives that haven't been ripped out of our control. It is special to us, and we'd like to maintain it as our official date, if possible. If not, we'll just celebrate on the original date and nobody's none the wiser; the only people that will know the truth are our witnesses and us, really.

    A. The date you legally get married will be the date on your marriage licence. I'm sorry, but it's a legal document and NO ONE will perjure themselves for you.

    B. I don't know where you are (I miss those little locator thingies we used to have!), but here in Pennsylvania, there are a bunch of options for officiants: borough mayors, sitting judges, retired judges, magisterial district judges (formerly called JPs), ministers, and there's an option for self-marrying. I don't understand how that one works, but @daria24 did it, and she could probably explain it to you. See if you can find any of those options for a Sunday wedding. Judges especially might be available.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • If you are getting legally married, that is your wedding date.   You should consider looking on craigslist for an officiant that can marry you on the Sunday you wanted.  There are a lot of options for people to marry you in your state.  If you are having a civil ceremony, that's your wedding date, and no one is going to forge a marriage license to indicate a different date.  And you don't need to have a second ceremony.  You already got married. 

    If you give us your city, maybe someone will have some ideas for you for an officiant.

    [Deleted User]
  • Try contacting Unitarian ministers. Many of them don't have a congregation/Church so they are more willing to perform a ceremony on a Sunday.

    You can also try your local mayor or clerk, they might be willing to perform a ceremony on a Sunday.

    Or if you are getting married in PA or Colorado I can explain how to have a self-uniting ceremony.
    image
  • KDM323KDM323 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Another thing...and check the laws in your town...but here a person can become "ordained" and perform your ceremony.  They can even do it online.  Might be something to look into.  One of our friends did this and has legally married several couples we know.
    *** Fairy Tales Do Come True *** Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Forgive me if this sounds stupid, as I haven't seen anyone mention it, but have you considered the free online ordination and having a close friend or family member perform the ceremony?  I don't know the specifics of it, but might it be something worth looking into?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • mnwatson1: It's not stupid at all! I didn't know it was free! I'd thought of it, but I thought I'd heard there was a huge fee or something.  I'll check that, too.

    StageManager: THANK YOU! I was struggling to find out how to contact a judge, and you answered that problem. Thanks!

    QueerFemme: Thanks for the CL idea! I didn't want to "forge" the certificate, but was wondering if there was a legal way, like if the date desired was on a weekend (as in this case), it was legal to put it in as long as it was say, within 48 hrs of the Civil Ceremony. There are some odd loopholes to some laws, so I figured I'd look into it. As for "needing" a 2nd ceremony, we kind of do, because we can't expect friends and family to take time off work/school to attend a weekday ceremony, nor can we have more than a handful of people there anyway (they only allow 6 people, counting our witnesses).

    Thanks for the advice everyone! You gave me some good ideas. :)
    harper0813RebeccaDW
  • mnwatson1: It's not stupid at all! I didn't know it was free! I'd thought of it, but I thought I'd heard there was a huge fee or something.  I'll check that, too.

    StageManager: THANK YOU! I was struggling to find out how to contact a judge, and you answered that problem. Thanks!

    QueerFemme: Thanks for the CL idea! I didn't want to "forge" the certificate, but was wondering if there was a legal way, like if the date desired was on a weekend (as in this case), it was legal to put it in as long as it was say, within 48 hrs of the Civil Ceremony. There are some odd loopholes to some laws, so I figured I'd look into it. As for "needing" a 2nd ceremony, we kind of do, because we can't expect friends and family to take time off work/school to attend a weekday ceremony, nor can we have more than a handful of people there anyway (they only allow 6 people, counting our witnesses).

    Thanks for the advice everyone! You gave me some good ideas. :)

    You don't need a second ceremony.  That's the part you are missing.  If you get married at the courthouse/county clerk, you skip the second ceremony, and just host the celebration/party to celebrate your recent marriage.  Don't have a second fake wedding ceremony. 

    I do encourage you to continue looking for an officiant to conduct your wedding ceremony on the day you want.  There ARE options, you just have to look for them.  But, if you decide to have the courthouse ceremony, that's your wedding day.  Don't re-enact it for the sake of theatre later.

  • My wedding is on a Wednesday.  Granted, some people have to take off work for it but it doesn't mean I need a second ceremony on Saturday to make sure they get to see me in a poofy white gown.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    cbrown828QueerFemmeDreamergirl8812FizzySips
  • @cowgirlbride88   If you live in Alameda County, you will have a TON of options for an officiant.  I live in Alameda county. My FIL is ordained.  I also know that one search for the east bay for craigslist will give you at least 100 listings, and most of them are less than $250.00.   You can have a friend or family member ordained online and AC does accept it.   You don't need to have two ceremonies.
  • We have no money left.  Absolutely none.  Deputizing is expensive; I looked into it already.  I am running out of time to find an officiant that won't charge us more than $50. So far, I haven't found how to contact a judge to do it on a Sunday, and they'd probably charge more than we have. A celebration/party requires refreshments, and again lack of money is stopping it.  A friend is gifting us the CC as their wedding gift to us, so I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I am graciously accepting what is being given to us, and making the best of it.

    We have weathered one blow after another for the last 18 months, including but not limited to: losing 5 residences due to backstabbing friends, selfish & dishonest friends, violent family members, and crazy landlords having my car towed because they were in a bad mood. One of those dishonest "friends" was also our wedding coordinator, and didn't have the guts to tell me to my face that SHE was cancelling our wedding at their home (where we also lived); I heard from her daughter. I have also lost 2 jobs, FI has lost 3, all due to layoffs/cutbacks.  We have also dealt with my transmission dying in a vehicle I still owe $2500 on (which is less than the repairs are costing me).  My own father won't attend our ceremony, any of them.  The only thing, besides my FI, that gives me enough hope for the future to keep going every day is having what friends and family we have left celebrate with us in the only way we can. So yes, we've decided to do it this way and just make the best of it. Is it what we want? No, but right now, we have no choice.

    Thank you for the suggestions!  They're wonderful ideas; I just wish I had the means and time to make one work.
  • If you don't have the money to host those guests on that Sunday, then you should really cancel it. Have the private wedding with you two and your witnesses. Use that money you could use for whatever you had planned on Sunday and pay the officiant. My brother just did a similar elopement a month ago. They went to a park with 2 witnesses and her grandfather who is ordained and for married. They then went out for lunch to host their 3 guests. Not expensive. Good luck.

    image
  • We would PREFER to actually have the license signed as the 1st of September (the Sunday date), but we cannot do the CC on that date (Can't find ANY helpful info on Alameda County site; not surprised) because we would have to get ANOTHER license thru SF county, in addition to paying $225 in additional fees.  Our friends have offered to pay the $75 fee for the Civil Ceremony for us to marry the Th/F before the 1st, and yes, have a friends & family ceremony on the 1st.  

    We do plan to host a small something or other for the bridal party (including witnesses, of course) and family.
  • @CowgirlBride88 I was looking at the link that @Schatzi13 posted, it says that you can have a friend deputized for a $75 dollar fee, would your friend who is willing too gift you the cc be willing to pay for the deputation of someone instead? or is there another fee somewhere that I don't know about?

     

     Wedding Countdown Ticker:)

     





  • I thought of it, but I was afraid to try it so close to the date.  We've been having issues with mail getting lost and such lately (we've moved 4 times since Jan. 1st, so things keep getting scrambled), so I was really afraid of something happening.  Thankfully, a friend of the Groom does wedding ceremonies on the side, and she's doing it for us. Problem solved!!! :)

    Thank you ladies (and gents, if there are any)!
  • Glad you found a solution and you get your wedding date :D

     

     Wedding Countdown Ticker:)

     





This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards