Family wearing the wedding colors...

xBrightxEyesx · August 2013

My future SILs and my cousin all want to wear the main wedding color... They are helping in the wedding with candlelighting and programs and guestbook... Do they wear the main color or accent color or a different color completely? We have picked navy and silver for our winter wedding. My bridesmaids are wearing short navy satin dresses. I'm worried it will be too much navy. I have my mom and MIL wearing gray/silver/pewter colors.

MayDay513 · August 2013

xBrightxEyesx said:

My future SILs and my cousin all want to wear the main wedding color... They are helping in the wedding with candlelighting and programs and guestbook... Do they wear the main color or accent color or a different color completely? We have picked navy and silver for our winter wedding. My bridesmaids are wearing short navy satin dresses. I'm worried it will be too much navy. I have my mom and MIL wearing gray/silver/pewter colors.

Please change your font. It is hard to read. They can wear whatever they want. I think it sounds great. If they want to wear navy it will be fine, they want to feel included since they are helping. I don't think your guests will notice or care about "too much navy".

Jessa617 · August 2013

Navy is a pretty popular color. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of your guests show up in navy. They can wear whatever they want.

KeptInStitches · August 2013

If they want to wear navy, they can.

AddieCake · August 2013

They can wear whatever they want, just like any of your guests.

Here's a rainbow in case you don't like my honesty:

@Huynette, don't tell people to change their font. That's bullying them and insulting their chosen font!

antibride2013 · August 2013

LOL @Addie!!! Funny!!!

BMoreBride6 · August 2013

Just let them wear whatever they choose. Also, you shouldn't "have" your mom or FMIL wear anything, they should have chosen any dress/color they wanted but sounds like that ship has sailed

MayDay513 · August 2013

AddieL73 said:

They can wear whatever they want, just like any of your guests.

Here's a rainbow in case you don't like my honesty:

@Huynette, don't tell people to change their font. That's bullying them and insulting their chosen font!

You don't know me! Today is my special day. I'll do whatever I want. NOW SEND ME A RAINBOW!

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

What do you mean you "have" people wearing certain colors? Why? If they're not your BMs, why are you even worrying about what color they're wearing?

It's against etiquette to dictate what people wear unless they're your BMs.

Pepper6 · August 2013

First things first...have THEY asked to wear the wedding colors, or have YOU requested they wear the wedding colors? That's a pretty big distinction, but the answer is still basically the same: they can wear whatever they want. However, if they are the ones who requested this to you, you can give your opinion, so if you think it will be too much navy, you can suggest something else (but the decision is still 100% up to them).

IMO though, navy is a pretty popular color in general, so I think it will look fine if more than just the WP is wearing it. Not to mention, it's pretty difficult to find silver clothes, so especially since they aren't actually in the WP, it would be too much to ask they look for that.

AddieCake · August 2013

@huynhette

I don't appreciate you demanding a rainbow from me. You are making me feel like I have to do what you want in order to fit in here. I don't think that's allowed.

MayDay513 · August 2013

@AddieL73 - You do. I own this MF. Now, RAINBOW!

dakotapa92 · August 2013

No one is going to care about what any one is wearing but you. Think of all the wedding you may have been to do you remember what anyone has worn other then bridal party and the bride?

Dont tell people how to dress. They will think your a bridzilla.

Edited for spelling.

AddieCake · August 2013

huynhette said:

@AddieL73 - You do. I own this MF. Now, RAINBOW!

OK, but first I want to apologize to the OP for hijacking her thread. I'm sorry, OP. Huynhette and I should not have taken your thread to engage in a personal dialogue. I do hope you can forgive me. I would say us, but I don't want to speak for Huynhette b/c that would be wrong.

LavenderHoneyBee · August 2013

xBrightxEyesx said:

My future SILs and my cousin all want to wear the main wedding color... They are helping in the wedding with candlelighting and programs and guestbook... Do they wear the main color or accent color or a different color completely? We have picked navy and silver for our winter wedding. My bridesmaids are wearing short navy satin dresses. I'm worried it will be too much navy. I have my mom and MIL wearing gray/silver/pewter colors.

If they want to wear it, sure! Just let them know they can wear whatever they like.

MayDay513 · August 2013

AddieL73 said:

huynhette said:

@AddieL73 - You do. I own this MF. Now, RAINBOW!

OK, but first I want to apologize to the OP for hijacking her thread. I'm sorry, OP. Huynhette and I should not have taken your thread to engage in a personal dialogue. I do hope you can forgive me. I would say us, but I don't want to speak for Huynhette b/c that would be wrong.

I second what, @AddieL73 said. This rainbow is epic. It makes me wanna frolic.

Welcome to TK, hope you post more.

xBrightxEyesx · August 2013

I haven't told anyone what to wear as I honestly could care less. They have all asked me what they should wear or if the dress they've picked would work. I've only suggested the moms could wear the gray/silver/pewter colors...

I almost feel like I shouldn't have even posted on the knot...

misssunshine17 · August 2013

I would suggest other complimentary colors, purple & greens. I think it would be too much navy and would look like you planned it. Only give suggestions if they ask you. This also goes for your mothers.

No one was rude to you. If you don't want real answers, why bother asking the question?

+misslisa · August 2013

OP, don't take the over-the-top snark seriously. There's been a huge amount of drama recently, leading them to post their perfectly-reasonable suggestions with a heaping helping of sarcasm and rainbows.

It's not at you, it's at the mods.

harper0813 · August 2013

If you suggest it, it will make them feel like they're not exactly welcome to wear any other color. If anyone asks you what they should wear, tell then that they can wear whatever they feel comfortable in. The only time I've "suggested" attire for any of my guests is if they're wondering how formal the wedding is, in which case I tell them it's not extremely formal. And that they can wear what they feel most comfortable in.

NYCMercedes · August 2013

xBrightxEyesx said:

I haven't told anyone what to wear as I honestly could care less. They have all asked me what they should wear or if the dress they've picked would work. I've only suggested the moms could wear the gray/silver/pewter colors... I almost feel like I shouldn't have even posted on the knot...

I'm glad you posted. We all learn something new everyday. Now we know to let people wear whatever they want.

BMoreBride6 · August 2013

I never understand when people say, "I didn't say they HAD to do it, I just suggested it". That's the same as telling them what to wear. Suggesting it is saying, "you don't have to wear this but it's what I want you to do. If you do something else, then I will not like it as much."

drummerbonbon · August 2013

I agree with PP that your other guests probably won't even notice, and you will probably have a lot of guests in navy. If I was a guest at a winter wedding, I'd wear navy because it just seems to go with the season. Let them wear what they want.

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

xBrightxEyesx said:

I haven't told anyone what to wear as I honestly could care less. They have all asked me what they should wear or if the dress they've picked would work. I've only suggested the moms could wear the gray/silver/pewter colors...

I almost feel like I shouldn't have even posted on the knot...

Nah girl - it's good you posted. It's not like this isn't fixable. You're fine. Just go tell them you don't care what they wear because you trust their judgment. My MIL freaked out and asked me 20 times what she should wear... I just explained what I was wearing, what the BMs were wearing, that it was outside and in July and said "pick out something you love.. whatever it is will look great." She did, it looked great. The end.

Honestly, you're going to be so busy the day of you're not going to remember or care what they wore.

simplykayla · August 2013

xBrightxEyesx said:

I haven't told anyone what to wear as I honestly could care less. They have all asked me what they should wear or if the dress they've picked would work. I've only suggested the moms could wear the gray/silver/pewter colors... I almost feel like I shouldn't have even posted on the knot...

Don't take the snarky comments too personally. You'll get used to it and learn how to filter it out.
I think there's nothing wrong with letting your family wear navy if they want, I don't think it will be too much. I also think there is nothing wrong with suggesting colors to the moms. I've always seen moms in colors relating to the wedding (maybe its an older tradition but I don't care, my mom will be in our wedding color), so I don't see anything weird with that.

Abbyjensen · August 2013

I can understand why they asked, because I never know what to wear, and would probably ask. Sometimes people expect too much of a bride, and expect the bride to be more "picky" than the bride really is. It can be tempting to worry about it because your family/guests are telling you that you SHOULD care about it.

So, I understand where you are coming from. But you don't need to add another thing to your plate. It's standard for them to wear whatever they want.

+misslisa · August 2013

I agree with PP - reading these boards has really enlightened me to just HOW MUCH some brides micromanage their weddings, and I think many people are accustomed to the entire experience being dictated to them if they're in the wedding party or the families involved.

I'm experiencing this, myself, with my mother after me about what she should wear. I replied, "Mom, I didn't even tell my MOH what to wear! Just wear something you like!" Then she wanted to know if she should buy something new, which I took as her looking for an excuse to buy herself a nice new occasional dress, so I said she should go for it... at which point she said that she probably shouldn't, would she even wear it again, and fretted for another ten minutes.

Oof. This wedding business is awesome, but goodness. Just wear clothes, Mom! I'll be happy! Family clothes and colors are so minor, IMO. As long as it isn't something bizarre, it'll look just fine in the photos.

(Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with wanting to stage the perfect day, down to the number of petals on the roses. But that's not my style, and I'm finding it hard to impress that upon people.)

allispain · August 2013

First off, all the snark and rainbows made me smile.

Second, OP, none of that snark was meant to be directed at you - it's a reflexion of how things have been in the forums these past few weeks. Though, granted, we are a pretty snarky bunch. That's the joy of the anonymity of these forums - people here can and will tell you things that your friends and family might not want to say to your face.

That being said, there was nothing wrong with what you posted. You mentioned that your FSILs and cousins want to wear your wedding colors and that they asked you about, but you were worried that it might be too much navy. I think that OPs have given you good advice, by saying that you shouldn't worry too much about having a lot of navy since it's a very popular color. I will add that you could simply tell these women that you're sure that whatever they pick to wear will be lovely and you want them to pick something they really love. They're welcome to wear one or both of the wedding colors if they would like, but if they'd rather wear another color that's fine with you. That way, you're acknowledging and supporting their interest in wearing the wedding colors without mandating that they wear them.

Family wearing the wedding colors...

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