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HELP! Guest list problem!!

rooney90rooney90 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi all,

My ex-best friend's family is definitely invited to the wedding. We remained good friends after my best friend and I stopped talking (his new GF said it's her or me...I lost). Now I need help deciding what to do with the invite. Do I just invite them and leave him out? Or do I invite all and make sure it's known (through proper invitation etiquette) that the gf (now fiancée) isn't invited? My Mom says first and I say second. What do you all think?!?
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Re: HELP! Guest list problem!!

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    Bubbles2014Bubbles2014 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Just invite the family. He is an adult and would get his own invite if you wanted him there. There is no proper etiquette for not inviting his girlfriend - All couples need to be invited together.

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    rooney90rooney90 member
    First Comment
    Even if he still lives at home?
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    NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Even if he lives at home he would get his own invitation.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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    jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Send invitations to only the people that are invited, and anyone over 18 gets her/his own invitation, even if s/he lives at home.  So, if you are inviting the parents and an under 18 sibling, put their three names on the envelope.  If you want to invite him, you need to invite his fiancee, and you would send them a separate invitation from the rest of his family.  
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    efmcc67efmcc67 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    jessicabessica said:
    Send invitations to only the people that are invited, and anyone over 18 gets her/his own invitation, even if s/he lives at home.  So, if you are inviting the parents and an under 18 sibling, put their three names on the envelope.  If you want to invite him, you need to invite his fiancee, and you would send them a separate invitation from the rest of his family.  
    All of this. You don't have to invite him, even if he lives at home. If you DO invite him, he needs his own invitation, and you need to invite his fiancée. Sounds like your best option is to not invite him at all, but just his family.
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    LizM61409LizM61409 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    If he's still living with his parents, count your lucky stars that you're not the one engaged to him
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    annathy03annathy03 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I'd just invite his family if you're set against inviting his FI. And she got him to give up his best friend for her, so frankly he isn't coming anyway- there is no way would she let him attend without her even if you invite them.
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    rooney90rooney90 member
    First Comment
    I told them family that the invitation would be explicitly to them only. However, if he expressed interest, then they could tell me he was coming, but she wasn't allowed.
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    rooney90rooney90 member
    First Comment
    They seemed chill with that. And I've known them long enough that they'll tell me lol!
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In the most blunt way possible, it's extremely immature and against all etiquette guidelines to invite someone without their fiancé (you did come here for etiquette advice right?). If you don't want her there then you don't invite your exBF or her. Invite his parents if you want.

    Honestly if I were in this situation, I would invite the parents and the exBF + fiancé. IMO it's a little petty to not do so. If she's as controlling as you say, there's no way they'll come anyway.
    *********************************************************************************

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    rooney90rooney90 member
    First Comment

    ok thanks everyone. Ik it was a little immature, and I apologize for that. you all really made me think. I owe you.

     

    next, what the heck does NER mean?

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    bnrandallbnrandall member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper

    ok thanks everyone. Ik it was a little immature, and I apologize for that. you all really made me think. I owe you.

     

    next, what the heck does NER mean?

    Not etiquette related :)

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