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July 2012 Weddings
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what to do?!

kimandjosh22kimandjosh22 member
100 Comments
in July 2012 Weddings
So FSIL is 20 weeks pregnant and spent sunday evening in the ER, she has been put on bed rest, she told me yesterday that he doctor told her she shouldn't even be standing for long enough to have a shower.  But, she is insisting that she and hubby will be at our wedding. how do we approach this? we know that she should be staying home in bed, per doctors orders, I really don't want to spend the afternoon/evening worrying about her. This just seems strange to me that she'd be putting her health and her baby's health at risk, but it also wouldn't surprise me if they come as she likes drama. should I express these concerns to her, or FMIL?
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Re: what to do?!

  • dawnleanna1dawnleanna1
    100 Comments
    I wouldn't get involved as that is kind of their own personal choice. I guess I would just try and trust that she knows what is right for her body, and if she gets uncomfortable or has a problem they will probably just leave.
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  • honeybear072012honeybear072012
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Your concerns are valid but unfortunately you can't make her stay in bed.  I'd express your concerns but if she's set on coming, she's going to come.  Don't go to FMIL, that just sounds childish.  She'll think of those concerns on her own and talk to her daughter on her own I'd hope.
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  • hmacsinehmacsine
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    If I were you I wouldn't do anything. I don't think the wedding will be strenuous. She can sit at both the ceremony and reception.
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  • kimandjosh22kimandjosh22 member
    100 Comments
    you guys are right, I shouldn't go to FMIL (duh) she's having elective surgery on her hand tomorrow, so she'll be busy, and yes that is childish, I agree.  I might have FI call her and find out more details, and tell her that we can always have a video viewing party later if her doctor is telling her she needs to stay in bed (she isn't even suppose to be sitting for long periods of time). the nearest hospital is 30 minutes from where the wedding is, should she have any kind of emergency.
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  • clh4444clh4444 member
    10 Comments
    Just reassure her that you are fine with her decision either way and that you would be totally fine if she decided to stay home. That she shouldn't feel she has to come to the wedding if the doctor wants her to stay on bed rest. Then she will make whatever decision she and her husband feel comfortable with and I wouldn't tell her what to do. Just be supportive.
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  • mekiakoomekiakoo member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Obviously you cannot stop her- but how about offering her a chair if she's a BM, so she can sit while the girls stand? 

    Or if she is just a guest- I guess there's not much you can do, she's an adult and that's her decision. Try to not worry about her, you have enough to worry about. I'm sure there will be other people trying to change her mind too. 
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  • michelle11988michelle11988 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    I would just tell her that you totally understand if she can't make it and if she really thinks she can to let you know if she needs any other accomodations.  Is she a BM? If so allow her to sit down during the ceremony and keep a chair handy for pictures.  Maybe she wants to get out for a bit knowing that unless she has a good reason she might be bed ridden for many weeks to come and she sees this as an opportunity to get out one last time.  I know personally even if I was hurting I would want to go or make an effort to attend my FSIL's wedding if I might be bed ridden for many weeks to come.

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  • kimandjosh22kimandjosh22 member
    100 Comments
    She is not a bridesmaid. She has a UTI (dangerous for baby) and a kidney infection (dangerous for mom). She isn't even suppose to go down the stairs at her house. FI did reassure her that while we hate that it might mean missing the wedding we want her to do what her doctor says. At this point she continues to post on FB that she is on extreme bed rest and isn't allowed to go down the stairs at her house or stand long enough for a shower.
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  • littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Yeah, I would say just one more time to her either by phone or FB message that you totally understand why they won't be able to make it to the wedding...ya da yada...But, it is their decision whether or not they will come or not...

    I don't know if you're having a videographer or not, but let her know that you'll bring the disc over so you all can watch it together....and make sure you send her pictures =) 
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  • kimandjosh22kimandjosh22 member
    100 Comments
    We are having a videographer, well my cousin has fancy video equipment he is bringing, I've already offered her a viewing party. *sigh* I know she is really excited about the wedding, but I would feel so terrible if she experience an adverse health event (she has miscarried in the past) from overdoing it at the wedding.
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  • mekiakoomekiakoo member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    How about Skyping the wedding?? Would that be possible?
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