Let’s make a long story short as possible.
My wedding was a couple weeks ago and it was wonderful. I
wouldn’t change a thing. I’m actually happier my maid went MIA because it all
worked out for the better.
In this whole stream of wedding planning I have not been
rude to any vendor, family member or friend who was helping me (husband
excluded. Sorry about the couple stressed out fights I started babe). My
wedding planner even said that my wedding and both families were such a joy to
work with that we have restored his faith in weddings.
This is the classis case of a MIA bridesmaid. Same story as
everyone else: asked about a year in advance, but she won’t buy a dress. I gave
her multiple outs to easily say she couldn’t come and made it clear my feelings
would not be hurt, but she kept insisting she was definitely going to be
there. The story ends with her not
returning any calls, texts, emails, Facebook messages, ect including ones just
trying to be a friend and not to talk about the wedding. About a month out I
replaced her with my three future SILs and we added my brother to the
groomsmen. I stopped trying to contact her. And everything in the wedding
worked out swimmingly.
By contrast my MOH had to back out 4 months before because
her brother decided to get married (rather quickly) in Italy the same week as
me. Bad luck I know. She felt terrible but let me know as soon as she knew of
the conflict, and I whole-heartedly supported her going to his wedding. It
looks like she had a blast in Europe and I can’t wait for her to get home.
Here we are a couple weeks post wedding and now I am
conflicted over the following options/feelings to manage this MIA friendship…
Option 1: She is probably (hopefully) very embarrassed by
her behavior. It’s not worth your friendship. Try to contact her and let her
know you don’t hate her.
Option 2: It’s still not worth my friendship, but for my
sake I need to let her know how I feel about her behavior but also that it’s
not the end of our friendship (essentially accepting an apology that has not
been made).
Option 3: She lives in another state (not our home state),
and we have no intention of ever moving back there. It would be very easy to
just lose touch, and if she still wants a friendship she will contact me.
Option 4: I kind of don’t care at all about this friendship
anymore. What she did was totally unacceptable. She could have had the decency
to act like an adult and just tell me she could not come, after all I gave her
plenty of chances to bow out with no bad feelings. I want to tell her that her
behavior was unacceptable and leave it at that. She can apologize if she
chooses. This of course only serves my emotional needs, but it is also the most
appealing option. Why should I accept her apology and extend the olive branch
of friendship before she apologizes?
Ladies, what would you do? What would you want a bride to do
if you were the MIA maid?