Service Dog Etiquette

Abbyjensen · August 2013

Full Story: My brother is the best man in his childhood friend's wedding. I am attending as his plus one. I know his friend and the family and because my brother isn't in a relationship and wanted someone he would be comfortable with, he asked me to attend with him.

My brother has a service dog for PTSD. The dog will be attending the wedding. I don't have any questions or concerns about the dog at the ceremony/venue- my brother is used to dealing with those types of things.

He wants the dog to walk with him and sit behind him during the ceremony. His friend doesn't care at all if the dog comes with or not... His friend understands that it is a piece of medical equipment, and the dog is obviously labeled as a service dog.

I am suggesting to my brother that I sit in the front with the dog. As long as he can see her and fix his focus on her, he feels calm. But because this could be a stressful situation for him, he is worried about his anxiety. I understand that also.

The groom asked if he should list the dog in the program next to my brother's name, in parenthesis, so it would say "Best Man: John Smith (with service dog Rascal)". My brother asked me what I thought he should do, so of course, I am asking you all.

If people were respectful and not ignorant, I wouldn't bother putting anything in the program, but I think it would cut down on people's annoying comments or questions.

So, yes, in the program? Or leave it out?

WinstonsGirl · August 2013

Personally, I wouldn't add the dog. I'm assuming the dog is obviously a service dog, therefore pointing it out in the program wouldn't clarify anything. People will still ask, whether it's in the program or not.

KeptInStitches · August 2013

I would leave the dog out of the program.

misssunshine17 · August 2013

Leave the dog out of the program. I think it calls unnecessary attention to it.

This is a real, non-snarky question because I'm genuinely curious... how does a service dog help PTSD?

Teddy917 · August 2013

@misssunshine17 Dogs are great at relieving stress in humans.
I wouldn't put anything in the program but if the bride and groom really want to, they could put "Brother escorting Dog".

Abbyjensen · August 2013

misssunshine17 said:
Leave the dog out of the program. I think it calls unnecessary attention to it.

This is a real, non-snarky question because I'm genuinely curious... how does a service dog help PTSD?

PTSD service dogs are there to keep the handler calm and free of stress. They are also specifically trained to notice anxiety attacks, panic, and triggers of their handler. Service dogs are trained to lead their handler out of stressful situations. My brother says that when he doesn't know what to do, he just looks at the dog and the dog leads him somewhere else. I don't fully understand it, but it has been a huge benefit to my brother.

misssunshine17 · August 2013

Thanks! I figured it was something like that. I totally believe that dogs are positive for humans!

mlg78 · August 2013

Does the dog wear a vest or something that says "service dog"? If the dog doesn't, people may assume it's the groom's dog since there are some people out there who have their pets attend weddings. I'm not saying put it in the program, just throwing it out there.

Teddy917 · August 2013

@mlg78 Service dogs are required to wear a vest stating that they're service dogs.

Simply Fated · August 2013

The dog will be working during the ceremony and will therefore be wearing his vest. That alone should be enough for guests to know why there is a dog present.
There are always ignorant people, but any more information volunteered on the program opens your brother up for questions from curious guests that he might not want to answer that day on top if his anxiety.

The less of a big deal that is made about it, the less of a big deal others will make about it.

marymargaretxo · August 2013

Simply Fated said:

The dog will be working during the ceremony and will therefore be wearing his vest. That alone should be enough for guests to know why there is a dog present. There are always ignorant people, but any more information volunteered on the program opens your brother up for questions from curious guests that he might not want to answer that day on top if his anxiety. The less of a big deal that is made about it, the less of a big deal others will make about it.

I completely agree with this. I think it should be left out of the program. Like @simplyfated said, the dog is wearing the vest anyway, so not much explanation should be needed (but we all know how some people are - sometimes we just can't avoid some peoples' ignorance I suppose).

xxstardust · August 2013

Teddy917 said:

@mlg78 Service dogs are required to wear a vest stating that they're service dogs.

There's actually no law stating that a service dog must wear any kind of identifcation (vest, tags, etc), nor is a business allowed to ask for any kind of paperwork proving that they have received training or certification as a service dog. The most a business can do is ask 1) if the animal is a service animal and 2)what it is trained to do, though they aren't supposed to ask specifically what disability or issue the animal is there to help with.

mlg78 · August 2013

xxstardust said:

Teddy917 said:

@mlg78 Service dogs are required to wear a vest stating that they're service dogs.

There's actually no law stating that a service dog must wear any kind of identifcation (vest, tags, etc), nor is a business allowed to ask for any kind of paperwork proving that they have received training or certification as a service dog. The most a business can do is ask 1) if the animal is a service animal and 2)what it is trained to do, though they aren't supposed to ask specifically what disability or issue the animal is there to help with.

xxstardust is correct. I frequently encounter service dogs (twice this weekend) with no identification that they're a working dog at all. OP's state may be different but I think that's a federal thing.

I would personally assume the dog belongs to the groom and this best man is escorting the dog in for the groom. Again, I'm not saying to put it in the program...I just think that's what many people might think if the dog isn't identified by looking at it as a service dog.

jessicabessica · August 2013

I would not put the dog in the program. I think that people may be less likely to ask questions about her if you have the dog, but it's not worth him feeling more anxious if it would really be better for the dog to walk and sit with him.

Abbyjensen · August 2013

Thanks everyone for the replies! The dog will be wearing a service dog vest. We will leave it out of the program.

Jen4948 · August 2013

Abbyjensen said:

Thanks everyone for the replies! The dog will be wearing a service dog vest. We will leave it out of the program.

I agree with this decision. I hope there aren't any allergic guests in attendance.

itzMS · August 2013

I agree with everyone else. I just wanted to add that the officiant, photographer, and videographer should be made aware and asked to "ignore" the dog.

I know ignore is a strong word, but that's what we're supposed to do in public so that the dog can focus on its work.

If the photographer/etc is treating the dog as a prop, your brother could feel uncomfortable very quickly.

Abbyjensen · August 2013

Jen4948 said:

Abbyjensen said:

Thanks everyone for the replies! The dog will be wearing a service dog vest. We will leave it out of the program.

I agree with this decision. I hope there aren't any allergic guests in attendance.

The dog is hypoallergenic and well groomed, so there shouldn't be any issues with allergies.

Jen4948 · August 2013

Abbyjensen said:

Jen4948 said:

Abbyjensen said:

Thanks everyone for the replies! The dog will be wearing a service dog vest. We will leave it out of the program.

I agree with this decision. I hope there aren't any allergic guests in attendance.

The dog is hypoallergenic and well groomed, so there shouldn't be any issues with allergies.

That's good to know. I have an allergic mother and I don't know if she could handle being around service dogs. She might have to leave early if she couldn't.

phira · August 2013

Yeah, leave the dog out of the program. Not because the dog isn't important and awesome, but because you don't want to draw any more attention to her (and therefore to your brother). It invites more questions, and your brother might not be up to it.

I love dogs, and service dogs are amazing. I'm so glad that your brother has his service dog, and that he finds her comforting.

Simply Fated · August 2013

On a side note because someone mentioned it...
I'm less worried about allergies when it comes to service dogs while they work. There is practically 0 chance they'll randomly go up to a guest and you aren't even supposed to pet a service dog, let alone approach it. Other dogs, no matter how well the owner swears up and down that he or she is SO well behaved, hasn't been trained in that manner. Not that allergies aren't still a concern, but it's just not as likely that the dander will spread so far and rapidly with service dogs.

phira · August 2013

Simply Fated said:

On a side note because someone mentioned it...
I'm less worried about allergies when it comes to service dogs while they work. There is practically 0 chance they'll randomly go up to a guest and you aren't even supposed to pet a service dog, let alone approach it. Other dogs, no matter how well the owner swears up and down that he or she is SO well behaved, hasn't been trained in that manner. Not that allergies aren't still a concern, but it's just not as likely that the dander will spread so far and rapidly with service dogs.

Absolutely. And service dog in a public place =/= non-service dog in a home. When we had a dog, our whole house was just covered in dog hair and dander, and not because we didn't clean or she shed more than other dogs. It's just what happens when you have a dog or cat. At the wedding, even if there's a service dog who sheds, the chairs and people's clothes are not covered in fur or dander.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

I think it's a good idea that the dog wear the service vest, this way the dog is treated with the respect and space it needs to do it's job. Like a pp, without it people may think it's the bride/grooms dog and just go up to it and start petting it and playing with it. Not that they shouldn't be petted & played with but with the vest people will know the dog is working and ask first which will allow your brother to say yes or no based on his comfort level.

Teddy917 · August 2013

xxstardust said:

Teddy917 said:

@mlg78 Service dogs are required to wear a vest stating that they're service dogs.

There's actually no law stating that a service dog must wear any kind of identifcation (vest, tags, etc), nor is a business allowed to ask for any kind of paperwork proving that they have received training or certification as a service dog. The most a business can do is ask 1) if the animal is a service animal and 2)what it is trained to do, though they aren't supposed to ask specifically what disability or issue the animal is there to help with.

Thanks for the information. I knew the rules were getting less strict with service animals (ie any dog can be trained as a service dog, including one that was previously just a pet, instead of one specifically picked for that purpose), but I thought the vest was still a set-in-stone rule. Good to know.

Service Dog Etiquette

Re: Service Dog Etiquette

Choose Another Board

Search Boards