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Widow engaged to bachelor

erin529erin529 member
Second Anniversary First Comment
in Second Weddings

I have a question for everyone out there willing to help.  I am a 36 year old widow with two sons who recently became engaged to a wonderful and caring man.  He has never been married and we both want an elegant wedding.  Is it alright to invite the same guests to the second wedding that were invited to my first wedding, on my side?

Thanks for input...

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Re: Widow engaged to bachelor

  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Of course!  I would presume those are the people who you love and who love you, and I would bet that they are excited and happy for you.  Besides, inviting random strangers off the street makes your party rather odd...:)  (Who else would you invite?) ~Donna

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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Donna is right. It's totally fine to invite the same people.

    And congrats on finding a great guy to share your life, and join your family. That's wonderful! Good luck in planning a great wedding.
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  • erin529erin529 member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you both for your advice.  I was a little confused about distant cousins and relatives.  We don't need any gifts or money; however, I do want the special people in my life to celebrate this memorable day with all of us!  Since they were at my first wedding, I wasn't sure if they would feel obligated to buy something again!  Due to my late husband being deceased and not getting a divorce, I would think they would be extremely happy for myself and my kids!

    Another question just came to mind:  What about a second bridal shower?  My mother wants to know if she should throw another shower?

    Thank you so much for your help, I grately appreciate it!  And, thank you for the congrats, Scott is a wonderful man who loves me and my children dearly!
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Invite who you want, as both Donna and Sue stated.  As far as parties if someone offers to host a bridal showe ror other party in your honor, you can  graciously accept or decline as you wish.
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Pure etiquette says that family members aren't supposed to host showers ever.  I know in my (giant, extended) family -- that rule is broken all the time. You might want to check in with someone in his family to make sure they are ok with it.  Then, if YOU want the shower, enjoy it.  If you would feel more comfortable with a different sort of party ( a bridal brunch, a getting to know you luncheon, a close family slumber party,  a spa excursion) ask for that instead. 

    As far as distant cousins, etc.  I would do what you want.  For me, my first wedding they were all invited, as I didn't have a strong sense of my own personal social circle (I was young, and newly out of college).  For my second wedding, I invited the one first cousin I see routinely, and that's it.  I think the "people who you love and who love you" cut off is a good one.
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  • erin529erin529 member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies for your advice and input...grately appreciate your help!!!
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  • twsh94twsh94
    First Comment
    I find myself in the same situation.  I have been a widow for 2.5 yrs - I am 46.   My future groom is 48 and has never been married.  It is very hard to find a balance.
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  • emspaldingemspalding member
    10 Comments
    I know I'm late to this post, but as a young widow (I'm 33) too, I'm glad to see several others on here getting married only a few years later. My big worry was that people would think I moved to fast. This wedding will be about 4 years after my 1st died, but my FI really wants a "real wedding," since its his 1st and only.
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