Are you less likely to bring a gift if an invite requests "No Gifts"?

Re: Are you less likely to bring a gift if an invite requests "No Gifts"?

• ksblumb member

  

  August 2013

  We typically will still take something, but a smaller gift than we normally would.
  
  Normally for a housewarming we give something like a candle with a $40 gift card to the local hardware store. Last time we got a "no gifts" invite, I got a $15 white porcelain pitcher from target, tied a pretty ribbon around the neck, and filled it with flowers.

  Report0 Reply
• itzMS member

  

  August 2013

  I would never go to a "no gifts" wedding, shower, or party without a gift.

  Usually it's a card with money or giftcard inside to avoid making anyone who took the "no gifts" literally feel bad.

   

   

  Report0 Reply
• Chipmunk415 member

  

  August 2013

  Friend just moved into new place. Went to visit, and even then, brought a bottle of wine as a housewarming gift, plus cake for girl talk time.

  If couple is tacky enough to put "no gifts" on wedding invite, I'll take them at their word, and not give any gift at all.

  Report3 Reply
• NYCBruin member

  

  August 2013

  I would still probably bring a gift and eye roll the shit out of the sender of the invitation.  Because if you are telling me you don't want gifts, you clearly expected me to bring you one.  And that's just gross.

  Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!

  Report1 Reply
• MayDay513 member

  

  August 2013

  Abbyjensen said:

  I am not only talking about wedding showers, though they can be included. I am also talking about birthday parties or other gift giving events.

  
  

  I KNOW that it is rude to talk about gifts on an invitation. However, many people still do. I would never indicate that on an invitation. Personally, it doesn't bother me when guests indicate that no gift is expected, but it DOES really bother me when they say, "in lieu of gifts, please _________ instead." That annoys me. Don't tell me what to do.

  
  

  Whenever I see an invitation that requests "no gifts" (or some variation of that) I never bring gifts. I hate bringing gifts in the first place, and I genuinely believe that the person doesn't need/want gifts. I DO bring gifts to showers/weddings, but I just don't enjoy doing it. I don't really like getting gifts/money myself (I mean, I like it and appreciate it but it's not a big thing for me), so I figure others are the same.

  
  

  I got into a conversation with a friend who said that people just write that so that they don't seem greedy and that she always brings them gifts because they actually want them. I disagreed, and said that I didn't bring gifts and thought they were being honest. 

  
  

  So, are you less likely to bring gifts if an invitation requests that you don't?

  I would still, or I would add to the wedding gift etc.
  

  Report0 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  August 2013

  Well, I hate "no gifts" and "in lieu of gifts" messages because it's trying to control how I spend my money, and that's rude.
  
  What I might do, assuming I decide to go, is give something that isn't a boxed gift-maybe a gift card or even just a greeting card.  But I don't show up empty-handed.
  

  Report1 Reply
• doeydo member

  

  August 2013

  I would get them a card.  If they really don't want a gift from me then I won't get them one.

  
  

  Report2 Reply
• +misslisa member

  

  August 2013

  I didn't put it on the invites (durr), but we don't want gifts. We're previously-married thirty-somethings with established households and couldn't think of a single thing we needed that was appropriate on a registry.

  I think people who say they don't want gifts simply don't want gifts, and they feel like they need to let people know. Etiquette or not, I have never once received a wedding or shower invitation that doesn't address where the couple is registered. We've gotten a small amount of confusion from people who think they're missing a piece of the invitation. Ohlol. No, guys. But nevertheless, people follow the leader and take cues from what they see others doing.

  It's tacky, but I don't find it terribly offensive. They think they're doing it right.

  Report0 Reply
• [Deleted User] member

  

  August 2013

  I respect their wishes, no gift.  But I DO either bring a card, and/or send a note after telling them what  great time I had.

  Report1 Reply
• WinstonsGirl member

  

  August 2013

  I've only had that once, at my BF's wedding.  I was her MOH  She asked for no gifts cos they live in a tiny 300 square foot houseboat and have no room for anything.  I gave her cash instead.  Normally, I wouldn't give anything

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• grumbledore member

  

  August 2013

  For a wedding, I might consider declining if I got an invite that specified anything about gifts (depending on how close I was to the couple).  If I did go, I might forego a gift because why give someone a gift they clearly don't want?

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• grumbledore member

  

  August 2013

  itzMS said:

  I would never go to a "no gifts" wedding, shower, or party without a gift.

  Usually it's a card with money or giftcard inside to avoid making anyone who took the "no gifts" literally feel bad.

   

   

  If they want gifts, they should remain silent on the subject.  People know to bring gifts.  Mentioning gifts on an invite for a wedding is not appropriate.

  
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  August 2013

  If someone told me not to bring a gift, I would not bring a gift. Much like if a sign on a door says "Employees Only," I do not go in if I am not an employee.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report2 Reply
• harper0813 member

  

  August 2013 edited August 2013

  Depending on the event or person, I might bring a card or a gift. If it were a housewarming party, shower, retirement party, birthday, anniversary party, whatever - I wouldn't bring anything if I didn't know them well, but if it was a close friend, I'd bring flowers in a vintage bottle or some wine. If it were a wedding, I'd bring a card.

  Report0 Reply
• ElcaB member

  

  August 2013

  I take no gifts to mean just that - no gifts, including any gift of money. I don't think it's tacky to write it on an invite, but I think I'm in the minority. Some people genuinely do not want gifts, they want the pleasure of your company to help them celebrate xx occasion. 

  
  

  If something says no gifts, I don't bring a gift. I do take or send a card, though. 

  

  Report1 Reply
• Xstatic3333 member

  

  August 2013

  I bring a card to these types of weddings. I have also done that in the past when there is a direct request for cash (I have been in school the past few years and money is tight. I may rethink that once I'm working and have more to spend).

  Report0 Reply
• phira member

  

  August 2013

  It depends on the person. If I got an invitation that said, "No gifts," and it was like ... my best friend, then they're getting one anyway, but I'd probably give cash. If it's for a somewhat distant cousin, I'll just bring a card.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Simply Fated member

  

  August 2013

  I would still want to bring something small, that I know they would want.
  
  I know that when my friends recently attended an anniversary party the invitations said "no gifts." They were worried to not bring anything because they didn't want to be the only one. Sure enough, a bunch of people brought gifts. "I know you said no gifts, but I saw this and thought of you..." Was pretty much heard around the room. That's kinda how it is in my circle. Maybe my area?
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• grumbledore member

  

  August 2013

  Simply Fated said:

  I would still want to bring something small, that I know they would want.
  
  I know that when my friends recently attended an anniversary party the invitations said "no gifts." They were worried to not bring anything because they didn't want to be the only one. Sure enough, a bunch of people brought gifts. "I know you said no gifts, but I saw this and thought of you..." Was pretty much heard around the room. That's kinda how it is in my circle. Maybe my area?
  

  I think a lot of people do this, and I think it's what a good portion of the people who write "no gifts" on their invitations actually want.  Some truly don't want gifts and are just being rude by accident/ignorance, and some actually want gifts but want cash.  

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• nskaplan member

  

  August 2013

  I'll most likely put "please, no gifts" on my invitation due to we are having a destination wedding and they'll already be spending $1000 to come to our ceremony.

  Report0 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  August 2013

  NLSchluep said:

  I'll most likely put "please, no gifts" on my invitation due to we are having a destination wedding and they'll already be spending $1000 to come to our ceremony.

  Inappropriate. People do not need to be told they don't have to bring a gift. Gifts are never required. You should not mention gifts AT ALL on wedding invitations. It's quite simple. 

  
  

  
  

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report3 Reply
• BizWiz4

  

  August 2013

  I usually do- and side-eye the person who sent the invite....
  
  But I did get one the other day for someone who lives overseas but is having a ceremony here for her family. That invitation stated "no gifts" and I totally understood that.
  

  Report0 Reply
• Simply Fated member

  

  August 2013

  NLSchluep said:

  I'll most likely put "please, no gifts" on my invitation due to we are having a destination wedding and they'll already be spending $1000 to come to our ceremony.

  If people want to spend more money to get your a gift, why not let them? It's their choice Assuming these people are responsible adults, they'll budget themselves accordingly. Either way, it should be for them to decide. I don't know, I just think it comes off as patronizing or sanctimonious or what ever.
  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• grumbledore member

  

  August 2013

  I'll most likely put "please, no gifts" on my invitation due to we are having a destination wedding and they'll already be spending $1000 to come to our ceremony.

  
  

  Can't get out of the box.  KGs, any chance that glitch will get ironed out sometime soon?
  
  Any mention of gifts is inappropriate.  You don't say "no gifts" (even though your intentions are good) because it means that you were expecting gifts, which you shouldn't (even though most people give them for weddings). 

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• JellyBean52513 member

  

  August 2013

  If I received an invitation that said "No gifts" I would not give them a gift or anything at all. I try not to be difficult.
  

  Report0 Reply
• lovesclimbing member

  

  August 2013

  I wouldn't bring a gift.  I would probably bring a card with a note congratulating them though.

  Report1 Reply