So I have been a long time lurker (LOOONG time) but hadn't ever really
felt the need to post until now. I am feeling absolutely gutted about
my sisters words and actions and need some non-familial insight on how
to handle. I will try to keep this as short and concise as I can.
I have been with my fiance for 8 years, been engaged since
Feb 2012 and will be getting married March 2014. Since the day of my
engagement my sister (who will also be my MOH) has been extremely happy
for me and very much wants to be a part of the wedding planning. I love
my sister dearly and greatly appreciate her help as she is
uber-organized and has great taste. But, she also is the one person who
I never seem to be able to stand up to. She has this amazing talent of
saying incredibly mean or harsh things but making you feel like the bad
person for being hurt and making you want to apologize. For the most
part I am really able to get over these by simply ignoring them but
there have been a few real barbs that have really stuck in me that I
can't get past.
The first being that since we announced our
engagement and our intention to have a two year engagement she has
continually said that I am "ruining things for her" as that means she
cannot get married until two years after that. It doesn't seem to make a
difference that as of today she has been engaged for less than two
months and even if my wedding weren't happening there is absolutely no
way she and her fiance could afford to get married in the next year.
She instead takes every opportunity she can to tell people about how I
ruined it. I thought I was finally over this but now since her
engagement people are asking her about the big day so she has been able
to resurrect this lovely statement and it's killing me.
The
second is so trivial and silly but has really gotten to me. I
originally chose pink bridesmaid dresses because out of the blue my
sister decided purple and gray were "her" colors and I wasn't allowed to
use them. But, after going dress shopping and finding a BEAUTIFUL
shade of purple all my other bridesmaids and I agreed that that color
was much more "me" than the pink. When I finally told my sister this
she told me how crappy I was and that she has been saying for years
those are her colors. My thinking is, nobody in the entire world
(except for her) would ever notice that our bridesmaid dresses were
similar colors, especially if our weddings are two years apart so who
cares?? She has taken this as a very personal insult though and now is
not speaking to me.
Can you please help me with some good retorts
or maybe just tell me that I need to grow up and get a thicker skin? I
think I just need some rallying behind me or some words of support so I
don't go crazy! (oh, CRAP - I thought this was short until I previewed it, I AM SO SORRY for writing such a novel!!)