Pre-wedding Parties

Bachelorette Party

So a few weekends ago my three bridesmaids were all in town to shop for dresses and have some quality bonding time. Of course the subject of the bachelorette party came up. My best friend from high school raised the subject and asked me if I wanted one. I responded that I thought it would be fun but that I would be ok without one. She was pretty clear that we should do something big, like a trip to Vegas.

She proceeded to mention it four more times during the course of three days, joking that my MOH (my younger sister who is twenty, still in college, and has limited funds compared to my other two BMs) should get to planning it right away. A few days after everyone left, she sent us all an email reiterating that we should get the planning done sooner rather than later (although any activity wouldn't be until next March or April). She even asked me if I could start checking out hotel deals.

I guess my question is how do I let her know that while a bachelorette party would be fun and I would appreciate time with all my bridesmaids, I am not going to plan my own party and my sister shouldn't be left doing it entirely on her own. I am not demanding a party - I am perfectly happy going without and honestly can't really afford a weekend in Vegas right now - but I would like to be perfectly clear that in my mind, if the bridesmaids want to do a party/trip, they need to plan it together and leave me out of it for the most part.

Am I being unreasonable?

Re: Bachelorette Party

  • First,  I'd chat with your MOH. Find out what communication she's had with the girls and let her know your feelings, so she's not busting her butt trying to make this happen thinking you really want it. 

    After that, talk to your BM and express that while you're grateful for her enthusiasm, you have concerns about going to Vegas. Reiterate that you're just as happy doing a fun dinner or even skipping the bachelorette party entirely. 
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  • drmrs2014 said:

    So a few weekends ago my three bridesmaids were all in town to shop for dresses and have some quality bonding time. Of course the subject of the bachelorette party came up. My best friend from high school raised the subject and asked me if I wanted one. I responded that I thought it would be fun but that I would be ok without one. She was pretty clear that we should do something big, like a trip to Vegas.

    She proceeded to mention it four more times during the course of three days, joking that my MOH (my younger sister who is twenty, still in college, and has limited funds compared to my other two BMs) should get to planning it right away. A few days after everyone left, she sent us all an email reiterating that we should get the planning done sooner rather than later (although any activity wouldn't be until next March or April). She even asked me if I could start checking out hotel deals.

    I guess my question is how do I let her know that while a bachelorette party would be fun and I would appreciate time with all my bridesmaids, I am not going to plan my own party and my sister shouldn't be left doing it entirely on her own. I am not demanding a party - I am perfectly happy going without and honestly can't really afford a weekend in Vegas right now - but I would like to be perfectly clear that in my mind, if the bridesmaids want to do a party/trip, they need to plan it together and leave me out of it for the most part.

    Am I being unreasonable?

    I'm glad your spidey senses are tingling. Don't plan the party. If she wants you to have a bachelorette party that bad, she should plan it.

    Maybe "Oh we are so busy with the wedding planning and everything else on our plate so we can't plan the bachelorette party, is that something you would like to do?"

  • Next time she brings it up, tell her it would be fun but a trip to Vegas isn't in your budget right now with the wedding coming up. You're being honest and hopefully she'll drop the topic then

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