this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Moms and Maids
Moms and Maids
New Discussion

Bridal Shower Follow Up Question

beachekbeachek member
Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
in Moms and Maids
Hi everyone. My bridal shower was this past weekend and it was amazing. It was a joint shower with my fiancee (we are a same-sex couple). Our two friends threw it for us and did an awesome job. My question has to do with a gift my fiancee received. Both of our groups of friends were there, including our families. Everyone pretty much got us presents that we can use as a couple, since it was a joint shower. I know traditionally you can give things to just the bride to use (I think). but we are both brides and everyone was really generous.

My fiancee's three closest girlfriends gave her a very personal and sentimental box for the wedding. It was comprised of something old. something borrowed,  something blue and something new. The card was addressed just to her. They did not give us anything as a 'couple' or give me anything personally. I am in no way trying to be greedy, because I want presents. It was just kind of awkward sitting there for 10 minutes when she opened a very heartfelt box and card that was only for her, and they did not acknowledge me. My friends and I are close, and get along great, so that is not it. I totally love the box and it is a wonderful present for her. But several people made comments to me after the shower that it was awkward that they didn't give me anything (or us as a couple).

Advice? We are currently writing out thank you cards, and I already gave them each a bottle of wine and a card for hosting the shower. Should we write the thank you card to her three friends from us, or just from her, sine the gift was only to her?

Thanks!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Bridal Shower Follow Up Question

  • beachekbeachek member
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    edit: HER friends and I are very close :)
    Report Reply
  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    I would let your fiance handle it since the gift was given just to her. If I were her, I'd write a thank you note. If I were you, I wouldn't sign it because it was not a gift for me.  

    It would probably have been better if her friends had pulled her aside and given the gift to her privately. Obviously more people than just you noticed the oddness since people mentioned it to you. Her friends were probably really excited about it and didn't think how it would be received by anyone except your fiance. Just let it go. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
  • beachekbeachek member
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    that's what i was thinking too. thank you!!
    Report Reply
  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    This was not awkward. Don't turn their gift into something that is about you. And I'm sure it didn't take ten minutes to open. Have your FI write the card and don't sign it, but don't be bitter about it because your posts sounds like you are. 
    Report Reply
  • Bookie7Bookie7 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary

    Since it's your fiance's closest friends, I completely understand why they gave a gift specifically for her and not to the two of you as a couple.  My bridesmaids did the same thing with me...gave heart felt gifts directed toward me.  It doesn't mean anything negative to the couple or you, they just want to make her feel extra special because she's their close friend.

    For the thank you card, I would suggest having your fiance write it up.

    Report Reply
  • beachekbeachek member
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    i don't care if they wanted to give her a gift. it was a couples shower, she was not the only person there. we don't have bridesmaids. my friends were there too, and they didn't do that specifically because it was a joint shower for both of us. they gave me my "special" gift at the bachelorette party.
    Report Reply
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I completely get what you're saying. I agree that gifts should be for the couple, even if only one is at the shower.

    As for doing something about it, don't. Let your fiance write the thank you card and then let it go. Try not to make it into a bigger issue than it already is.
    image
    Report Reply
  • rmaynarrmaynar
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    misssunshine17 said:
    This was not awkward. Don't turn their gift into something that is about you. And I'm sure it didn't take ten minutes to open. Have your FI write the card and don't sign it, but don't be bitter about it because your posts sounds like you are. 
    That's a little harsh.  She may be exaggerating and she may not.  If there were multiple little gifts in the box, it could have taken time to go through.  And I myself would certainly feel awkward if I was just sitting there, at a couples shower, watching one person open a seemingly personal gift while everyone else just watched.  There are plenty of other more appropriate times to present such a gift.  It was a couples shower...that means showering the couple, not one half of the couple.

    To answer your question OP, ditto on the PPs, have your fiance sign the thank you card on her own.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards