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Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Who should walk me down the aisle??

I'm not sure who I should have walk me down the aisle... My parents were divorced when I was in first grade and my mom remarried a few years later.  I haven't had very much of a relationship with my biological father - I haven't seen him in over two years and he hasn't even met my finance.  My step-dad has been more of a father to me than my real dad has ever been, but I don't want to make my real dad upset by having my step-dad walk me down the aisle.  The aisle isn't big enough for both of them to both walk with me...

I do have a very strong relationship with my older brother and consider him a best friend.  I was thinking about having him walk me down the aisle but wasn't sure if that was proper etiquette.

Any thoughts???

Re: Who should walk me down the aisle??

  • I would say go with who ever you want to walk you down the aisle. If you want it to be your step father then explain your reasoning (politely) to your father if he asks. If you really want avoid the issue then have your brother do it.
  • Who do you want to walk down the aisle with?  It's your wedding -- who you walk down the aisle with is 100% up to you. 
  •  I agree with the PPs. It's totally up to you! Who do you see yourself walking down the aisle with? I'm sure under these circumstances, however you choose, those involved will understand. Do what feels right, and makes you happy! :)

     *J
  • Neither your biological father, nor anyone else, has an inherent right to walk you down the aisle.  Choose the person you want to walk you down the aisle.  Even if that's not your biological father, it's still your right to choose that person instead.  If he gets upset, then that's his problem-you don't have to make it yours.
  • Don't worry about upsetting anybody else. It's YOUR day. Who would you be more comfortable with giving you away? In the end, if you and your FI are happy, that's all that matters.
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  • My mom walked me down the aisle. I'm not close with my biological father anymore, I didn't want any hurt feelings by asking my step dad, and my mom is my best friend. She raised me and helped me to become the woman I am today so, for me, it made sense to ask her to walk me. 



  • It really should be whoever you want to have walk you down the aisle. From your post, it sounds like you want it to be your step-dad. If you choose to ask him to walk you, and your bio dad brings it up, you can let him know politely, gently, yet firmly that you've already made your decision, you're sorry his feelings are hurt, but you feel that this is what is best for your wedding.
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  • My brother just got married and his wife had the same dilemma.  Her parent's are divorced, her mother never remarried but her Dad has.  It was really high stress for her because her mother refused to be in the same place as her Dad.  In the end her and my brother walked down the aisle together.  She said it was great to have a few quiet moments together before the ceremony started and then she didn't have to worry about hurting anybody's feelings.
  • As previous posts have said you should have whoever you want walk you down the aisle. My parents are in the middle of a nasty divorce, which has distanced me from both of them. I think I am just going to walk myself down the aisle.
  • Swazzle said:
    My mom walked me down the aisle. I'm not close with my biological father anymore, I didn't want any hurt feelings by asking my step dad, and my mom is my best friend. She raised me and helped me to become the woman I am today so, for me, it made sense to ask her to walk me. 
    I'm in the same exact situation... how did you tell your biological father your decision? I want my mom to do it, just not sure how to tell my dad that he can't do it.
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Whoever you want.

    If you feel your step-dad is your "father" then let it be him. If you'd like your mother to do it, then she can. Likewise, if you wanted your brother to do it, that would be beautiful and if I were a guest, would be sure to cause a few tears! 
  • Choose whoever you want. This is really not set in stone and not about who might or might not get their sensibilities hurt. If you feel your step-dad is closer to you then go with that. If it's your brother then go with that. It's really whatever you feel comfortable with.
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