Received an invite ... They obviously didn't read the knot forums

d2va · August 2013

My FIs nephew (who are about the same age) is engaged, and we were expecting an invitation. I check the mail and I see an envelope addressed to Mr. Oscar last name & guest. We've been engaged since January... They both have met me and we are friends on Facebook. Really? Included is the formal invite, and a separate card called "wedding information" on the bottom of that card.... Registered at: BB&B / Bloomingdales I'm more ticked off about the & guest thing. Ugh

d2va · August 2013

Sorry that it's all jumbled in to one paragraph. I'm on my iPad.

allispain · August 2013

Wow - tacky (regarding the registry information) and just plain rude with the "and guest." Sigh. At least you know you and your FI won't be committing the same faux pas!

Bubbles2014 · August 2013

An etiquette book should be given with every engagement ring sold.

d2va · August 2013

I agree that an etiquette book should be given with an engagement ring lol! I just find it so weird that they have met me, they are technically family and didn't want to pick up the phone and ask for my name (if they didn't know it).

Simply Fated · August 2013

Ew, I'd be annoyed if my bf received "and guest," too.
The registry info is not cool.

d2va · August 2013

Sadly, we are engaged and we are planning our wedding... Lol

LizM61409 · August 2013

d2va said:

I agree that an etiquette book should be given with an engagement ring lol! I just find it so weird that they have met me, they are technically family and didn't want to pick up the phone and ask for my name (if they didn't know it).

They didn't even have to pick up the phone, all he had to do was check facebook since you're friends!

kmmssg · August 2013

It is easy for us to sit here and pick that stuff apart. We hang out on an etiquette board, learn the proper way to do things and then complain when others don't. Etiquette isn't taught anywhere anymore. If people don't research, or have never seen the correct way (and know it is correct) they are going to send things out incorrectly. Spend your time on what is really important (you were invited) and learn for your own wedding. The registry stuff? It always ticks me off when it is in an invitation, but again - if you don't know it is poor etiquette and the store GAVE you those cute little cards specifically for your invitations, why wouldn't you use them?

snoopycac · August 2013

I agree that a lot of people are just uneducated about the registry thing ... however, even if you don't know any wedding etiquette, you should still (logically) know when to put a person's name and when to put "guest" on an invitation.

Although I know it's horribly judgmental, I take "what-not-to-do" advice from other weddings that I've been to as well - learn from their mistakes.

Dreamergirl8812 · August 2013

d2va said:

My FIs nephew (who are about the same age) is engaged, and we were expecting an invitation. I check the mail and I see an envelope addressed to Mr. Oscar last name & guest. We've been engaged since January... They both have met me and we are friends on Facebook. Really? Included is the formal invite, and a separate card called "wedding information" on the bottom of that card.... Registered at: BB&B / Bloomingdales I'm more ticked off about the & guest thing. Ugh

My bridesmaid invited me to her wedding with "guest." She met my FI when I did (she and I were roomies and he was our neighbor - this was 7 years ago) and we will be married at her wedding. Guest? WTF?

misssunshine17 · August 2013

I would be pissed, too. Some people just really have no idea about etiquette and the believe the first random-wedding-obsessed-girl blog they read.

heidirs731 · August 2013

So, if not in the invite, what is the proper etiquette for notifying people of the registry?

Ajuliana · August 2013

heidirs731 said:
So, if not in the invite, what is the proper etiquette for notifying people of the registry?

Word of mouth. It's not that freaking hard to google, or to guess that *SURPRISE* the happy couple are registered at Macy's and BB&B, either.

+misslisa · August 2013

@heidirs731 - Between immediate family and bridal party, it's pretty easy to notify people. Friends and extended family will ask someone close to you - if not you yourself - where you're registered, and word spreads fast!

Bubbles2014 · August 2013

People ask where you're registered. People have already asked us if we were registered for our e party (we weren't because we didn't think anyone would get us gifts), so they will probably ask again for the wedding.

Simply Fated · August 2013

heidirs731 said:
So, if not in the invite, what is the proper etiquette for notifying people of the registry?

When people ask you (or someone in the loop) can tell them.
I learned of one friend's from her bridal shower invitation. I learned of my cousin's the same way. Another from my friend's mother when I asked her. And I learned of my other friend's registry from google.

kmmssg · August 2013

heidirs731 said:

So, if not in the invite, what is the proper etiquette for notifying people of the registry?

To be honest, I don't remember the last time I HAD to ask someone. The first thing I do is check Bed Bath and Beyond. Seems like everyone in my area, social circle, and family register there and at least one other place. I have found many a registry using google also.

crunchymamaof2 · August 2013

heidirs731 said:

So, if not in the invite, what is the proper etiquette for notifying people of the registry?

Other than word of mouth, registry info can go on shower invitations if someone offers to host a shower for you.

Is it acceptable to put registry info on wedding websites?

annmarie714 · August 2013

My best friend just sent out wedding invites for her October wedding. She addressed it to Mrs. AnnMarie Marriedname but didn't include my husband anywhere on the invite (not even an "& guest", let alone the proper Mr. and Mrs. HusbandFirstName LastName). He can't attend anyway--he'll be out of state for a month for school but she didn't know that. I know she's having a very small wedding but you couldn't invite my husband and we've known each other since middle school? Gee, thanks.

I just don't get some people's thought process sometimes.

allispain · August 2013

acove2006 said:

heidirs731 said:

So, if not in the invite, what is the proper etiquette for notifying people of the registry?

Other than word of mouth, registry info can go on shower invitations if someone offers to host a shower for you.
Is it acceptable to put registry info on wedding websites?

Yes, you can put a link to your registries on your wedding website, but that's it. You shouldn't write anything in that section - just put the links.

@annmarie714 Wow, really? She didn't invited your husband? That's pretty bad...

annmarie714 · August 2013

allispain said:

@annmarie714 Wow, really? She didn't invited your husband? That's pretty bad...

No, she didn't. I'm not going to say anything either because there is no point. Even if she says "he's invited, sorry I messed up on that" it's pointless because he can't come. Sometimes we just have to pick and choose our battles.

simplykayla · August 2013

My mom got a wedding invite in the mail a couple months ago for one of her cousins, addressed to "The Vijsma Family". The RSVP card then stated that children were allowed "by invitation only". We assumed that the "family" part of the invite meant that the children in the family were included. However, my mom emailed the cousin just to clarify. Apparently the "family" did not include either of the kids, just my mom, step-dad and me (even though I do not live with them, have a different last name, and received no invitation of my own).
And of course, their registry information was included in the invite.

ssmith232 · August 2013

Is it okay to put "and guest" if the person being invited isn't seeing anyone seriously but is being

given a +1?

melbelleup · August 2013

d2va said:

I agree that an etiquette book should be given with an engagement ring lol! I just find it so weird that they have met me, they are technically family and didn't want to pick up the phone and ask for my name (if they didn't know it).

My cousin did this for me and my fiance ish. They didn't do and guest, but instead wrote and Paul.... er, why not ask his last name.. you texted me for my new address but can't ask me what my fiance's last name is? Even my friend who is getting married wrote my fiance's last name on the envelope. Needless to say, all I did was put his full name on the RSVP that way they now know it. When receiving the thank you card, it read to both of us, INCLUDING his last name

I think they got my point. I even signed the card with his first and last name as well. Of course, he's not the only Paul they know.

Anastasia517 · August 2013

ssmith232 said:

Is it okay to put "and guest" if the person being invited isn't seeing anyone seriously but is being
given a +1?

If they have a boyfriend or girlfriend invite them by name. If they aren't exclusive with anybody, it is fine to put "and guest".

ashleyep · August 2013

snoopycac said:

I agree that a lot of people are just uneducated about the registry thing ... however, even if you don't know any wedding etiquette, you should still (logically) know when to put a person's name and when to put "guest" on an invitation.

Although I know it's horribly judgmental, I take "what-not-to-do" advice from other weddings that I've been to as well - learn from their mistakes.

That's what you would think, but I got in a debate with my cousin over "and guest." She did married, engaged, or living together and I said I was hurt that my boyfriend at the time of 4 years (now fiance) wasn't invited by name. She knew I'd be bringing him, so why was he "and guest." I think some people just create their guest list and invite their guests with dates without any consideration of who that date will be.

"Well I'm not inviting him," she said. "I'm inviting you and he's your guest." I told her that I wasn't inviting her husband as anything other than her guest, but that doesn't mean I was going to address her invite that way.

Received an invite ... They obviously didn't read the knot forums

Re: Received an invite ... They obviously didn't read the knot forums

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