Replied more than invited

Re: Replied more than invited

• bananatree member

  

  August 2013

  Oufff good question. Are they adult children or little ones? Easy way would be to say it's an adult wedding only.

  
  

  Otherwise you just need to say, "regretfully due to restriction on numbers the invitation was for X&Y is only extended to 2 people. We apologize for this unfortunate circumstance but appreciate your understanding".

  
  

  Or could you get another family member to do that? Deflect from you??

  Report0 Reply
• doeydo member

  

  August 2013

  You have to call them right away to straighten this out.  Let them know that you're sorry but the invitation was intended for only Jim and Mary and/or that only two seats were reserved for them at your venue. 

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• NYCMercedes member

  

  August 2013 edited August 2013

  Why do people not understand that the invitation is only for those to whom it is addressed? (rhetorical ?). Call and say that you are sorry for any misunderstanding, but the invitation was for Mary and Jim and for no one else. If they ask about others, repeat it was for only them. You do not need to give a reason. If they say they can't make it w/o adding others, just tell them you are sorry and that they will be missed. They were rude and you have every right to repeat over and over, nicely, that the invitation was only for the two.

  Report4 Reply
• allispain member

  

  August 2013

  NYCMercedes said:

  Why do people not understand that the invitation is only for those to whom it is addressed? (rhetorical ?). Call and say that you are sorry for any misunderstanding, but the invitation was for Mary and Jim and for no one else. If they ask about others, repeat it was for only them. You do not need to give a reason. If they say they can't make it w/o adding others, just tell them you are sorry and that they will be missed. They were rude and you have every right to repeat over and over, nicely, that the invitation was only for the two.

  This. Do not give any excuses - that just opens you up to them trying to find a solution.

  
  

  Example: You say it's due to budget constraints - they say they'll pay for the extra people. Or, you say it's due to limited space - they say that surely not everyone you invited will be able to come.

  
  

  Report5 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  August 2013

  If you don't want them to bring their kids, then call them and tell them that the invitation is only for them.  Don't give reasons, like budget or space constraints, because they'll have a response that's supposed to make you give in.
  

  Report0 Reply
• Bubbles2014 member

  

  August 2013

  Ditto PPs - Call and tell them that the invite was just for the 2 people on the invite and you won't be able to accommodate any extras. If they say that they can't come without the other 3 people tell them that you're sorry to hear that and they will be missed!
  

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  August 2013

  Contact them and say, "I'm so sorry for any confusion about who was invited to the wedding, but the invitation was for just you and your wife/husband. I saw that you added *cousins 1-3*. Unfortunately, we can't accommodate extra guests. We hope to see the two of you at the wedding!"

  
  

  No excuses, no reasons. They are in the wrong to add people and certainly in the wrong to argue with you about it.

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• cbonifant

  

  August 2013

  As if you didn't have enough to worry about already!

  
  

  My mother happily accepted the task of contacting those who made the assumption that their kids were also invited (we're having an adult-only reception). Fortunately, no one has had to be reminded of proper RSVP etiquette, but I think it's a good idea to delegate this sort of thing to someone like your mother or FMIL.

  Report0 Reply
• musicfrk2002 member

  

  August 2013

  I had the same thing happen...I asked FI to talk to his cousin, and explain the invite was only for he and his wife...then ended up mailing them a letter (we had no phone numbers for them, and FI wasn't making any attempt at getting them either) apologizing for the confusion (even though our reply cards stated "we have reserved 2 seats in your honor") and saying we were unable to accommodate their children, but we were still hoping he and his wife would still be able to attend...thankfully, they didn't throw a big fuss about it

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• grumbledore member

  

  August 2013

  briana144 said:

  We sent out our invitations and are now getting replies back. I just got one back today from a couple who we invited the husband and wife (so 2 people). However, on their reply they are bringing 5 people. A little background on this..my Grandpa has 11 brothers and sisters, so these are my moms aunts and uncles. We didn't invite any further down the line because we had to draw the line somewhere. So this one couple is now bringing their kids and none of the others are. What do I do? Should I just let it go or do I ask them to only bring 2 people? If I ask them to only bring 2, how do I say that without being rude?
  

  Call them and say, "I received your RSVP.  I see that you have ____ people attending.  The invitation was only for _______ and _______, sorry if there was any confusion but we cannot accommodate any extra guests.  Thank you!"

  
  

  You're not being rude, they are.

  
  

  

  Report2 Reply
• briana144

  

  August 2013

  Thank you for all the responses! I sent them a letter today (I don't have their phone number). If they bring the 5 people to the wedding, I will be shocked at how rude they are.
  

  Report0 Reply