Guests Addressing Their Own TY Cards

kayjayem · August 2013

So, I went to a bridal shower last weekend, and as we were all sitting down, the hosts started passing out envelopes. They asked guests to address them to ourselves so it would be less work for the bride to send thank you cards later. It wasn't a big deal, I just thought it was a strange thing to ask guests to do. The envelopes were also used for drawing names for prizes and things later. Is this a normal thing and I'm the strange one?

Simply Fated · August 2013

You're not the strange one. Well, maybe you are, I don't know you.
But either way, that's def against etiquette. The bridal party or who ever thinks they're doing the bride a favor. But, really, they're going against etiquette. The guests gave the bride gifts. She should be able to address her own envelopes.

It's one of those things that's becoming more common, like burlap and renting children for ring bearers. It needs to stop.

Bubbles2014 · August 2013

If I can go to the store and pick out a gift the bride can address an envelope to thank me for said gift. It's not hard, and it is rude to make the guests do it. At least you know you're getting a thank you card, I guess...

banana468 · August 2013

I loathe this practice. It's rude and needs to stop.

stantokm · August 2013

I find this practice insulting, but I suck it up and fill it out. If the problem is that the bride doesn't have the addresses (in the case where invitations weren't snail-mailed), I wouldn't have a problem sending around a clipboard where people can write down their addresses for her. But that's pretty much it.

Ven&Radio · August 2013

This is incredibly tacky. I'd be offended as a guest, personally.

misssunshine17 · August 2013

It's tacky. I address my invites last night so I wouldn't wait until last minute and it took me less than the length of a cheesy movie.

AddieCake · August 2013

I hate it. I recently went to a baby shower where we did that. And then when my TY came, it wasn't even the envelope I had addressed, so I have no idea why we were asked to do it in the first place.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

Yes, been to those. I have to say, it's weird when you get an envelope with your own writing on it. My BM had done labels on the shower invites due to how many they had to send out, they printed an extra set of the labels for me to use on the thank you cards. That was helpful to me because I could just use the label, look at the gift list and I had 50 thank you cards done & out in the mail within 2-3 days of the shower.

WinstonsGirl · August 2013

I'm glad I've never had to deal with that. I'm pretty sure I'd get super annoyed even though it's not a huge oversight in my mind.

ElcaB · August 2013

20 Things Every Twentysomething Is Tired Of Hearing

That's really distasteful. What is it with shortcuts these days? It doesn't take much to write out an address and a TY. Oh, what's that? You want to save time? What about the time it took your GUESTS to find & print out your registry, find the item in the store, and wrap it? And the time it took them to drive to your shower? And the time they took out of their day to be there? And the time they spent working to make money to spend on your gift?

Wow, I didn't realize how much bitterness I had about this until I just wrote this post.

grumbledore · August 2013

kayjayem said:

So, I went to a bridal shower last weekend, and as we were all sitting down, the hosts started passing out envelopes. They asked guests to address them to ourselves so it would be less work for the bride to send thank you cards later. It wasn't a big deal, I just thought it was a strange thing to ask guests to do. The envelopes were also used for drawing names for prizes and things later. Is this a normal thing and I'm the strange one?

It's rude. I've had to do it at people's showers, I know it's common, but it's rude. The host(s) sent invitations, they have everyone's addresses. It's lazy and discourteous.

RedJacks25 · August 2013

The best part is when you address your own envelope and then the TY card you get is generic and has nothing written in it.

NYCMercedes · August 2013

@addiel73 Maybe that was the new mom's way of apologizing for her hostess' inappropriate request. She was trying to make up for it.

AddieCake · August 2013

Could be!

NerdyLucy · August 2013

Ugh. I've had to do this at both wedding showers and baby showers. I find it very tacky.

kayjayem · August 2013

Thanks for confirming my feelings everyone! Oh well, I won a prize with my self addressed envelope, so it wasn't all bad.

melbelleup · August 2013

People in my area are used to this. We do it for bridal showers and baby showers. The envelopes are always out just sitting there and then you use your envelope for a game or raffle for gifts.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

I never realized how insulted so many people felt about it. I always looked at it as a NBD. Two minutes tops to do. But going forward I guess I would not do this at a shower I would host given these reactions.

Jen4948 · August 2013

Yeah, short-cutting the thank-you process has been going on for years and it's rude.

MayDay513 · August 2013

I went to a shower where they did this with my MIL and two SILs.

smalfrie19 · August 2013

This has NEVER happened at any shower that I have EVER been to. Thank GOD!

tammym1001 · August 2013

I'm throwing a baby shower for my friend and she said "well the one thing I want is to have a basket with the envelopes in them so everyone can address their own". Then she looked at the other girl who was with us and said "isn't that what you did at your shower?'. Luckily she said that first so I didn't tell her how ridiculously rude it was, but I told her we weren't doing that. She said "but I don't have time to write out all those envelopes". Then she saw the look on my face and she just said "no never mind we won't do that". Apparently I wasn't hiding my displeasure with this practice at all even though I wasn't saying anything. LOL

fearlessbrideMI · August 2013

I honestly think this must be a regional thing. I'm in Michigan and have ALWAYS seen this done this at any kind of shower. I can remember the ladies doin this at the showers I attended as a kid even. I think of it as NBD really

fearlessbrideMI · August 2013

It's funny to me how different different circle can be.

Ajuliana · August 2013

Etiquette and traditions/ways circles do things are separate. @fearlessbridemi

grumbledore · August 2013

fearlessbrideMI said:

It's funny to me how different different circle can be.

Differences aside, it is impolite and therefore I would never advise anyone do it. Especially on an etiquette board.

libby2483 · August 2013

Thankfully, I've never been asked to do this because I think it is tacky and lazy.

erinr26 · August 2013

scribe95 said:

Next thing you know we'll see it at weddings - an envelope at every seat for people to fill out their address so the bride and groom can send thank yous. Nothing would surprise me on here anymore.

I almost started a thread about this. I have been seeing on Pinterest wedding boards.

Guests Addressing Their Own TY Cards

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