Wedding Reception Forum

BYOB

for a reception is byob bad or justified for those that don't drink??
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Re: BYOB

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2013
    for a reception is byob bad or justified for those that don't drink??

    It's bad. Do you not drink? There is nothing wrong with a dry wedding.
  • ksblumbksblumb member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited August 2013
    Bad. Bad, bad, bad. You certainly don't have to serve alcohol if you choose not to, but unless it is a backyard BBQ, this isn't the time or place for BYOB
  • Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

    Wedding receptions are not the time for BYOBs.  They are hosted events.

    You do not have to serve alcohol.  There is nothing wrong with a dry reception or even limited drinks.  But you cannot politely ask your guests to bring anything to be served.
  • 100% bad!!!  You should never ask your guests to bring anything for your wedding.  If you do not want to serve alcohol for whatever reason then you can certainly have a dry wedding.  But if you want to serve alcohol then you must host it.

  • BYO ANYTHING is bad for a reception. You're the hosts. Please.....HOST. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited August 2013

    It's fine if you and your FI do not drink.

    It's also fine to have a dry reception (think iced tea, lemonade, punch, sodas versus booze)

    It's not fine to ask guests to pay for anything or bring anything.

     

    Why do you want to do BYOB, out of curiousity?

     

    ETA: If you supply the mixers, and DH & I could walk in with a 1.5L of Grey Goose...I might let this slide...but only after I've drank the bottle dry.

  • I saw the title of this and thought NO WAY!
  • edited August 2013
    The reason BYO-anything is rude is because the reception (you "receive" your guests) is supposed to be a "thank you" to guests for attending your ceremony. So the idea is that you properly/fully host them. Proper hosting means they don't contribute financially or otherwise (no dish to pass, no beer, etc.) to the reception.

    This is also why a cash bar is considered bad etiquette - you don't want to offer something you're not prepared to fully host. 

    If you want to offer alcohol but don't want to host a full bar, you could do just beer and wine or offer a signature cocktail and that's it. There's also nothing wrong with a dry reception either. Both of these are etiquette friendly options. 

    ETA - close quotes
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  • BYOB is a terrible idea for a wedding.
  • lol okie dokie just a question me and my fi do drink though and we are going to have 3 signature drinks and a few choices of wine and beer but thought in case no one liked the drinks we served they could bring there own
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  • lol okie dokie just a question me and my fi do drink though and we are going to have 3 signature drinks and a few choices of wine and beer but thought in case no one liked the drinks we served they could bring there own
    Your drink selection sounds just fine. They won't need to bring their own alcohol with those choices. 
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  • question how do i go about having enough the guest is the the max the venue will allow with dancing and that's 75 how much alcohol should i provide?
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  • Are you providing the alcohol or is your caterer?  If your caterer is supplying it then they will take care of making sure there is enough.  If you are supplying it then here is a good blog about alcohol and weddings.  It even gives equations to figure out how much of each item to buy.


  • no we are providing it :D the caterer wants to much

    and thanks this should help :D
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  • OP:  "for a reception is byob bad or justified for those that don't drink??"

    (quote box wouldn't work)

    Bad.  Never justified.  If you don't want to pay for alcohol, have a dry wedding.

    A reception is a thank you to your guests - they shouldn't be providing the refreshments.

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  • Don't do it.

    But if you have a dry wedding and you have friends/family who you know will want to be drinking, expect them to sneak in flasks. This has happened a lot in my circle. Perhaps I just know a bunch of alcoholics?
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  • Don't do it.

    But if you have a dry wedding and you have friends/family who you know will want to be drinking, expect them to sneak in flasks. This has happened a lot in my circle. Perhaps I just know a bunch of alcoholics?
    Maybe arrange an afterparty for these people?
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    Asking guests to BYOB to an event you're hosting is rude. Either have a dry wedding or provide alcohol. 
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  • We calculated 3 drinks per guest in the first hour, and 1 for every hour after that. I haven't had my wedding yet, but it looks like we are running a bar out of our living room. Plus, we have been just buying bottles when we could afford it, so it's been about 4 months of accumulation. 

    Plus, if we have any left over, it won't be going to waste. 
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  • thats awesome thats what i was worried about is that if we won't have enough or if they don't like them.

    my whole wedding theme is prohibition so alcohol will be hidden in certain items through out the night. and the 3 signature drinks will be old fashion speakeasy drinks. i'm just hoping that they will like what i have chosen. not a lot of people like hard drinks or wine or beer so i don't want them to hate me for just providing the ingredients for the above drinks :/ 
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  • thats awesome thats what i was worried about is that if we won't have enough or if they don't like them.

    my whole wedding theme is prohibition so alcohol will be hidden in certain items through out the night. and the 3 signature drinks will be old fashion speakeasy drinks. i'm just hoping that they will like what i have chosen. not a lot of people like hard drinks or wine or beer so i don't want them to hate me for just providing the ingredients for the above drinks :/ 

    I think with over two years until your wedding, you might want to put the breaks on a bit with the whole "theme" thing. Tastes and trends change.

    Between beer, wine, and 3 signature drinks...you'll be fine.

  • I've always wanted the 1920s theme to my wedding. so the theme is sticking but the drinks could change to ones without absinthe a lot of drinks in 20s had absinthe in it and that shiz isn't easy to get. its like $50 a bottle.

    I don't know 2 yrs isn't that long if you think about it this year kinda went fast so i'm predicting the same for the rest. Plus i'm a budget-er i like to have things planed out so i know what i need how much i need and so on and so forth.
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  • thats awesome thats what i was worried about is that if we won't have enough or if they don't like them.

    my whole wedding theme is prohibition so alcohol will be hidden in certain items through out the night. and the 3 signature drinks will be old fashion speakeasy drinks. i'm just hoping that they will like what i have chosen. not a lot of people like hard drinks or wine or beer so i don't want them to hate me for just providing the ingredients for the above drinks :/ 
    1. A "prohibition theme wedding" is essentially an alcohol-themed wedding. Prohibition and speakeasies were all about alcohol. If you don't drink and this makes you uncomfortable, perhaps a more general theme would be better? I know someone who is currently planning a "Jazz Age" themed wedding. It's the same time period, but less of a focus on the alcohol aspect, I assume.

    2. Alcohol will be hidden in certain items throughout the evening? What does that mean? No one wants to go looking for a drink. Certain things are required for guests to have a good time--plenty of food and drink (alcoholic or not), plenty of space, somewhere to sit, music, and a good noise level (louder for dancing, but not so loud people can't talk). Make sure your theme doesn't interfere with ANY of these basics.

    3. You're offering wine, beer, and 3 mixed drinks? If someone only drinks one specific spirit a specific way, then they're the type of person who doesn't mind not drinking for a night. Everyone else will drink what's available within reason. You seem to be providing a reasonable amount of options. That being said, I'd make sure that the 3 mixed drinks appeal to a variety of tastes. Make sure they're not all syruppy-sweet, or super strong. Again, your wedding is for your guests so make sure you're providing something you think they will like, not just something that sticks to your theme. This may mean some modern updates to old fashioned drinks. 
  • MandyMost said:
    thats awesome thats what i was worried about is that if we won't have enough or if they don't like them.

    my whole wedding theme is prohibition so alcohol will be hidden in certain items through out the night. and the 3 signature drinks will be old fashion speakeasy drinks. i'm just hoping that they will like what i have chosen. not a lot of people like hard drinks or wine or beer so i don't want them to hate me for just providing the ingredients for the above drinks :/ 
    1. A "prohibition theme wedding" is essentially an alcohol-themed wedding. Prohibition and speakeasies were all about alcohol. If you don't drink and this makes you uncomfortable, perhaps a more general theme would be better? I know someone who is currently planning a "Jazz Age" themed wedding. It's the same time period, but less of a focus on the alcohol aspect, I assume.

    2. Alcohol will be hidden in certain items throughout the evening? What does that mean? No one wants to go looking for a drink. Certain things are required for guests to have a good time--plenty of food and drink (alcoholic or not), plenty of space, somewhere to sit, music, and a good noise level (louder for dancing, but not so loud people can't talk). Make sure your theme doesn't interfere with ANY of these basics.

    3. You're offering wine, beer, and 3 mixed drinks? If someone only drinks one specific spirit a specific way, then they're the type of person who doesn't mind not drinking for a night. Everyone else will drink what's available within reason. You seem to be providing a reasonable amount of options. That being said, I'd make sure that the 3 mixed drinks appeal to a variety of tastes. Make sure they're not all syruppy-sweet, or super strong. Again, your wedding is for your guests so make sure you're providing something you think they will like, not just something that sticks to your theme. This may mean some modern updates to old fashioned drinks. 
    1. i have nor does my family and friends have a problem drinking. [not sure about his side of the family though]

    2.What i meant by that was that some candies and cakes will be made with liquor not really hidden plan as day but hidden in the since of its alcohol hidden in cakes and candies. 

    3. That's the issue really all the drinks made back then required gin. so its going to be hard to find something that wasn't. i was looking up and it said you can substitute gin with vodka and or white rum. But its basically the same thing in my opinion. idk i'll have to keep looking then i guess.
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  • @jordancorrine2015 I do not think MandyMost was saying that anyone had a drinking problem she was just saying that during prohibition and in speakeasies alcohol was the main focal point.  So in regards to your theme people may be expecting alcohol to be flowing like water.  KWIM?

    With that said.  I know that you want to have certain drinks from that time period but like you said they were primarily made with gin and most of the people I know are bigger vodka and rum drinkers.

    A mary pickford and a bacardi cocktail are both made with rum and could be crowd pleasers. There is also the classic gimlet that was made with gin but could be made with vodka.  Also champagne was a big drink during that time so you could always just serve up champagne or make it into a cocktail.  Finally a pink lady was kind of like the cosmo of the time so you could always just make up a batch of cosmos and call it a pink lady to stick with your theme.

  • i should have put a winkie face because that's not what i wanted it to sound like she was saying if we don't want to drink go with a jazz theme but when i said we don't have a problem drinking meaning we can drink......and a lot lol

    pink lady? yeah i'll have to keep looking maybe put a modern twist :D or make my own speakeasy drink :P idk but this will be fun haha
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  • If you drink "a lot" then who are you talking about in your OP? I can't even read half of your posts but you say "justified for those that don't drink??" Who are you talking about?



    Anniversary
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  • honestly i don't even know what i meant by that it doesnt matter now i've figured out what i'm doing
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