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Cousins are throwing a fit that their babies are invited to the wedding

jenfromjerseyjenfromjersey member
100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
in Wedding Woes
We are planning a formal, Saturday night wedding and my cousins are spouting off because we are not inviting their 2 and 1 year old to the wedding.  For once in my life I want the attention on me (and I am not that type of person at all).  I always put everyone else first and have my entire life.  I think I am entitled to have ONE day for me, and not have to worry about cranky babies ruining my day.  I am just sick of all of it, at this point I just want to cancel the wedding and elope.  What is it about weddings that brings out the drama in people.  This part of the family just can't handle NOT being the focus of attention and drama.

Overwhelmed :(
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Re: Cousins are throwing a fit that their babies are invited to the wedding

  • Oface4evaOface4eva member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    OR they just don't want to pay for babysitters, etc.

    I'm all for a baby-free wedding, but maybe it's not about attention and more about $$.  Just putting that out there.
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  • jenfromjerseyjenfromjersey member
    100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Trust me, it is not about the money.  And they leave their son with people all the time.  They recently left him for a week so they could go on a cruise.  If it was a money situation I could understand, but for these cousins, that is DEFINITELY not the case.
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You're entirely entitled to vent and be pissed.  But is this even worth the time.  It doesn't matter why they're throwing any kind of fit.  You don't want kids there, it's your right (for whatever reasons, I wouldn't share what you listed w/family members b/c it's going to start another fight).  It's their right to refuse to attend w/out their children.  Listen to their complaints, tell them you're sorry but you won't be changing your mind and you do hope to see them there, w/out the children.  Change subject or end conversation, which ever is necessary and repeat or ignore after that.
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  • PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    your wedding, your way. you don't need to justify to anyone.

    ignore them. the "polite" response would be: "I'm sorry that you and your H will be unable to join us." END OF DISCUSSION. 

    they can EABOD. 
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  • Oface4evaOface4eva member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm glad you considered the option of $$, but I'm also standing behind the PP and saying "I've considered your complaints, now bug off!" and have it your way. 

    Done and DONE
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    There are always those who think that every occasion is a showcase for Their Precious.
    image
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  • jenfromjerseyjenfromjersey member
    100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    My one cousin, I can see why she is hurt because her son is my godson, and I really would love nothing more than to put him in a tiny tuxedo but he is not even 18 months yet and has an early bedtime, and gets super fussy.  Her brother, I can count on 2 hands the number of times I have seen his 2.5 year old son, and they don't live very far.  He kept saying that he understood that I am entitled to make my decisions and then would try and change my mind.  Give it up, dude!  It has caused a huge fight between my mom and her sister, because my aunt wants to show off her grandbabies.

    We have told them they are more than welcome to bring the kids to breakfast the morning after at the hotel.  I have no issues with that.  At that point, my DAY is over.  It is just so frustrating.

    His wife totally glared at my all during my shower, which put a black mark on the day.  She should have just STAYED HOME!
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    ReturnOfKuus said:
    There are always those who think that every occasion is a showcase for Their Precious.
    well, it is a trophy. you know, a trophy for having unprotected sex.
    image
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  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    there's an indigo comment to be applied somewhere in here....but it seems to be the parents, not the kids this time.
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  • mrsjlmsmrsjlms member
    First Comment
    I have one of those cousins who thinks the whole world revolved around her and she has 2 kids under the age of 2. I know I'd have this same problem with her. So I'm not inviting her because I know she'll try to make MY DAY about her. She ALWAYS tries to make everything about her. So if it wasn't this issue, it would be another issue with her. I would politely tell people "it's my day and this is what we have decided." And follow with, "we hope you can find a babysitter and join us." END OF DISCUSSION. Don't let it ruin your day or your happiness!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • WzzWzz member
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2013

    i agree with that, AF.

    i also cannot put myself in the shoes of those people who get upset or offended if their kid isn't invited to a wedding. i would RSVP 'no' if i couldn't go and move on with my life. maybe i just don't care (not true - i love weddings), but it's not the end of the world to skip a wedding once in a while. i do appreciate a night out, though. heck, i will try to get a sitter just to go to the supermarket most days. if you want the kid to have some fun, take it to the park.

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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Wzz said:

    i agree with that, AF.

    i also cannot put myself in the shoes of those people who get upset or offended if their kid isn't invited to a wedding. i would RSVP 'no' if i couldn't go and move on with my life. maybe i just don't care (not true - i love weddings), but it's not the end of the world to skip a wedding once in a while. i do appreciate a night out, though. heck, i will try to get a sitter just to go to the supermarket most days. if you want the kid to have some fun, take it to the park.

    YES.

    the last time i was at a wedding, one of the dudes with kids was all "WE ARE GOING TO AFTERPARTY, YO. WE HAVE A SITTER!! LET'S HIT THE CLUBZ."

    image
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  • WzzWzz member
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    YES. if you have a sitter, always go to the afterparty. you have to see us when we have a day off together and the kid is at daycare - or even nights that we DO manage to get someone to babysit. it's as if we've never been outside in fresh air drinking a ber at a table with waiter service.
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  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    We're all about the babysitter whenever we can, especially for things like weddings, but on the flipside of this, my 4 year old DD attended her first wedding and reception last weekend.  She had a BLAST!  And we had so many people come up to us and say that watching her have fun was so much fun.  
    �
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  • jenfromjerseyjenfromjersey member
    100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    A 4 year old is also very different from a 2 and 1 year old.  I saw the younger one yesterday and he went into complete meltdown mode when Dad told him he needed to bring his toy back towards the house instead of continue to push it further away.  He was tired and cranky and it was just around the same time as when my ceremony would start.

    They had been to a casual outdoor wedding the day before and my cousin made a big deal making sure I heard her tell someone else how well behaved he was during the ceremony.  A mid-afternoon wedding sitting outside, on a picnic table, eating grapes during a ceremony is a far cry from an evening formal affair!
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    eh, do what you want to do.  I missed a wedding this past weekend because I couldn't get a sitter.  I was really bummed, but I don't begrudge the bride and groom having what they wanted.  In fact they told us to bring the kids anyway.  Nope. 
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  • WzzWzz member
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    jen, not everyone is going to agree with your decision, no matter how hard you try to sell it. bottom line, it is up to you and your FI to do what you like. you don't have to convince anyone and everyone to agree, you just have to let them know this is your decision, and that is it. you have a lot of good advice here. no matter how the kids normally behave, it isn't going to change certain guests' minds. no need to even worry about trying.
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    do you, girl.

    image
    image
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