Wedding Etiquette Forum

Gifts for each other

melbelleupmelbelleup member
500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
edited August 2013 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Okay, I know there is a rule that you get your groom a gift and him gift the bride one. Does this still stand at this day and time? If so, what do people usually give each other? I think it's a little weird because I'm giving him, well, ME! He gets me for the rest of his life, whether he likes it or not ;). So I'm a tad confused on this. What is the etiquette on this???



Daisypath Wedding tickers

Re: Gifts for each other

  • i don't know if its a rule or tradition, but i think its nice so i got something special for my groom. he's a big lit nerd, so i got him a replica of shakespeare's first folio. i'm not sure if he's getting me anything. he's not up on most wedding customs!
  • Okay, I know there is a rule that you get your groom a gift and him gift the bride one. Does this still stand at this day and time? If so, what do people usually give each other? I think it's a little weird because I'm giving him, well, ME! He gets me for the rest of his life, whether he likes it or not ;). So I'm a tad confused on this. What is the etiquette on this???



    Definitely talk to your FI about it. Start the conversation simply with "Hey, honey, do you want to exchange gifts on the wedding day?"

    My DH & I decided to. He got me a diamond necklace that I can lend to any daughters or daughters in law if they'd like to wear it for their weddings, graduations, etc. I got him a set of Sig Sauer handguns.

    You can do whatever you'd like.

  • It's not a rule. I'm getting FI the Adventure Book from Up to start on our wedding day, but that's it. It doesn't have to be some big grand gesture, because like you said, you're getting each other. 
  • I agree with @itzMS. Definitely check with him first. I did a boudoir shoot and got him a nicely bound set(book), he got me a shot gun.
  • So is it basically just whatever you would like, like a birthday/christmas gift then? and not so much wedding oriented?
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • We exchanged handwritten cards the night before at the rehearsal dinner, but didn't do gifts.

  • So is it basically just whatever you would like, like a birthday/christmas gift then? and not so much wedding oriented?
    Yeah pretty much. Or you don't have to do anything at all.
  • We exchanged handwritten cards the night before at the rehearsal dinner, but didn't do gifts.

    This is what I was thinking too, but the day of the wedding.  Either before the wedding or after.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • We skipped gifts, since we were going away for the wedding.  I ended up getting him a little something each day that month leading up to the day we left that he would need for the trip, or that tied in with Hawaii.  Coconut body wash, gum for the plane, new headphones, etc.  Most cost very little

    I also just recently found the card I had bought to give him on our wedding day.  I forgot about it, so it's still in the drawer, blank

  • If you do it, it can be whatever you are most comfortable with - there aren't specific rules to what you have to get or any sort of theme.

    If it helps, I am giving my fiance a few things - one would probably be considered more wedding related (a small notebook of letters and notes to him I've been writing for awhile). I am also getting him a t shirt he told me he liked and a watch, which could be given whenever. But it's really whatever you want to give. 

  • We skipped gifts, since we were going away for the wedding.  I ended up getting him a little something each day that month leading up to the day we left that he would need for the trip, or that tied in with Hawaii.  Coconut body wash, gum for the plane, new headphones, etc.  Most cost very little

    I also just recently found the card I had bought to give him on our wedding day.  I forgot about it, so it's still in the drawer, blank
    oh! That's such a cute idea! I dont think it would really work though for me since we're going to the beach for our honeymoon and we currently live by the beach so have everything possible. but such a neat idea :)
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Exchanging wedding gifts with the groom is not mandatory. Many couples choose to, but many skip it, too. 

    ItsMS had good advice: you need to chat with FI about it. It'd probably induce panic for FI if you got him a gift and he didn't get you one because he didn't know it was a "thing." 

    And yes, the gift is usually whatever the recipient would like. I've heard many people recommend wearing a new fragrance on the day of the wedding. One bride I know exchanged new fragrances with FI on the day of the wedding, then they both wore that scent throughout their honeymoon and for a few weeks after. Then, they switched it up and now only wear their special perfume/cologne on anniversaries & special date nights. I think FI and I might do this because I love the idea. 
    image
  • I got my groom a shirt that says "Trophy Husband", socks that say "In case you get cold feet", and boxers (to match undies I have) that say "I <3 my wife".  I was just going to stick with those (all from Etsy) but then I got a groupon for a boudoir photo shoot so I'm doing that for him, too.  All together it'll still be just under $100.

     

    Gifts are optional but can be a nice way to send something that says "I'm thinking of you" to his room before you walk down the aisle to meet him.

  • I got FI cufflinks and he has bought me a pair of earrings that I had been fancying for a while. I am definitely struggling on a gift to get his parents though! 
  • Something I think is cute is to do something that has sort of an inside joke with it between the two of you. For example, I call my husband "my monkey" so he got me a monkey PillowPet.
  • scribe95 said:
    I'd be curious where this tradition came from. Much like the entire wedding industry I think it has exploded into over the top fancy gifts but that's just my opinion.

    DH & I didn't see it as a "tradition", we saw it as something we wanted to do for each other on our wedding day.

    The pictures our photographer got of DH opening his gift from me are some of my favorites.

  • My FI and I bought each other a wedding! I feel like that's enough, lol. 
  • We are not exchanging anything before the ceremony but decided to buy each other a gift on our honeymoon in Paris. What we buy will be a secret from each other until we exchange them.
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