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We got our first RSVP

HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
in October 2013 Weddings
Our invites went out yesterday, so most people got them today. We got our first (verbal) RSVP, from a friend who:

- has known about the wedding since the STDates were sent
- still decided to go to a sports clinic that weekend, that ends at 3.30 p.m. on Sunday (our wedding starts at 3 p.m.)
- the clinic is 3.5 hours away, minimum, from the wedding location
- he gave me the RSVP and said, "I'm going to try to make, but I'm not sure I can, but keep a plate warm for me. Oh, and the Friday night before, I have a date, so if it goes well, can I bring her as my date?" (Note; No plus one on his invite).

So he wants to show up 3+ hours AFTER the reception has started, after the dinner is over, have us hold a plate for him, and have me possibly accommodate a date.

I don't even...

(Mind you, I don't mind if he picks the sports clinic over the wedding, but please don't act surprised that my wedding is still on the same date at the same time it was on our STDate card)
Anniversary

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I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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Re: We got our first RSVP

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    EmilyTorkEmilyTork member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Unless this was a very, very good friend of mine (and that would mean they would choose wedding over clinic, but anyways...) I would have given a straight no. Either you come on time, meaning not 3+ hours late, or not at all. Maybe this is rude of me, but there is a BIG difference between 30 min late and 3 hours late. 

    Sorry this person thinks RSVPs are editable. 
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    simplykaylasimplykayla member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Answer Name Dropper
    Oy vey.
    What did you tell him?
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    schellzinatorschellzinator member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Yikes - that's a crappy first RSVP :( I'm sorry to hear that. I, too, am curious as to what you said?
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    09McSteph0309McSteph03 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    It's possible I am misunderstanding the point here but it sounds like he isn't coming. Obviously this clinic is important to him but he will try to make it. I'd count him as a no until he tells you otherwise. Is it possible he was joking about "keeping a plate warm"? He has to know the clinic is quite a distance away. Maybe he will leave the clinic early. Does his profession rely on clinics? If so, you cannot be this upset. Sorry your first RSVP was a no. Mine was as well but people have lives outside of your wedding, try to understand. It doesn't sound like he's acting surprised that nothing has changed so I'm not sure what the point of your last statement was. I'm sorry, just confused mostly because you seem appalled that a.) someone called with a heads up and an explanation that he didn't owe you and b.) someone said no.

    um @emilytork (removed -I misread and misunderstood your post).
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    S'mores. Just S'mores please.
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    libby18belllibby18bell member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer First Anniversary
    I suppose I look at the counter position.  Your friend has to go to this clinic, but he really wants to go to your wedding.  Obviously you don't have to save a plate for him, but why not just but happy if he makes it for the dancing and celebrating.  
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    rustytammyrustytammy member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I'm sorry to hear your first no was so ambiguous!  HOwever, I would just count him out and if he shows up then great!  If he shows up thinking he has a warm plate tell him sorry but you can have cake.
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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    The clinic is optional, actually. He's doing it for fun.

    And I never said I was upset that he'd chosen the clinic over the wedding -- I get that no one is ever going to be as excited about our wedding as FI and I are, and I don't expect that. But I do expect non-ambiguous RSVPs. Yes, no -- either is fine, but "maybe" doesn't work. 

    He was not kidding about the food, sadly. And he wasn't kidding about bringing the date. 

    *headdesk*

    I told him, "Well, I'm sorry to hear you might have a conflict. Unfortunately, I must give firm numbers to our caterer by 1 Oct., which is why our RSVP date is 25 Sept. If you're not definitively sure by then, I will be marking you as a 'no.' You'll be welcome to attend for dancing and mingling, but we will not be reserving a plate and a seat for you."

    If he wants to just show up to drink/dance, that's fine. But I'm not saving food. I think that's asking a bit much.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    sdcabridesdcabride member
    First Comment
    HisGirl, I think that's fair enough.
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