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October 2013 Weddings
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Unpop Ops, Confessions and Random Discussions

Stina51286Stina51286 member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
in October 2013 Weddings

Confession- I wish TK could go back to the old way. With Mods, where everything isn't unicorns and rainbows, where stupid comments got called out.

Confession- I am 99% positive I will not be on TK after the wedding.

 

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Re: Unpop Ops, Confessions and Random Discussions

  • SewInLoveWithDMBSewInLoveWithDMB member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    Confession (have I mentioned this one before??):

    It irks me when people say how "proud" parents are when their children are getting married. Like, "Your parents must be so proud."

    No. My parents are proud of my for degrees I've earned and accomplishments I have made. "Landing a man" is not an accomplishment. My parents are happy for me, but not "proud" in this instance. Pride, in my eyes, means the person has done something worthy of taking note.  Getting married does not equal this. Joy =/= Pride.

    Father/daughter dance pictures labeled "Proud father" on FB drive me nuts.  To me, it is almost the complete opposite - as in, "She didn't do anything worthy of note until she found a man to marry her. NOW I'm proud." Ugh.

    Same thing goes for when a couple gets engaged - Congratulate the male (for finding a bride who, theoretically, accepted his proposal of marriage) but say "Best Wishes" to the female (if you say Congratulations, it's like "Wow! CONGRATULATIONS! I didn't know you had it in in you "land a man! Never thought that would happen - but it did - so Congratulations!")
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    image 293 (Adults) Invited
    image198 Yes (+ 12 children and 3 babies)
    image95 No
    image0 Unknown

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  • hardlyhannahhardlyhannah member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Confession(and probably unpop op) - I am hoping for more declines than what I have been getting on our RSVPs. We didn't invite too many people, so if everyone says yes we'll have room, but I let myself be pushed to invite more people than I ever wanted - and people that were 'guaranteed nos' are coming in as yeses and it's freaking me out.
    image 209 Invited
    image 151 Yes
    image 46 No

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  • Stina51286Stina51286 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    hardlyhannah said:
    Confession(and probably unpop op) - I am hoping for more declines than what I have been getting on our RSVPs. We didn't invite too many people, so if everyone says yes we'll have room, but I let myself be pushed to invite more people than I ever wanted - and people that were 'guaranteed nos' are coming in as yeses and it's freaking me out.
    Same here! We have plenty of room and have a food minimum we have to hit, but if we get at least 279 people coming, we'll hit our food minium, if we have less, it leaves room for us to order better cocktail hour apps and late night snacks. Plus, it'll make it easier for us to talk to more people than if we had say 300/372 show up.

     

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  • hardlyhannahhardlyhannah member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Stina51286 said:
    hardlyhannah said:
    Confession(and probably unpop op) - I am hoping for more declines than what I have been getting on our RSVPs. We didn't invite too many people, so if everyone says yes we'll have room, but I let myself be pushed to invite more people than I ever wanted - and people that were 'guaranteed nos' are coming in as yeses and it's freaking me out.
    Same here! We have plenty of room and have a food minimum we have to hit, but if we get at least 279 people coming, we'll hit our food minium, if we have less, it leaves room for us to order better cocktail hour apps and late night snacks. Plus, it'll make it easier for us to talk to more people than if we had say 300/372 show up.
    Exactly. More time to socialize, there will be more space in general (while my venue holds 200 it is a TIGHT 200, would be much more comfortable at 150, which is what I originally wanted). Sigh, there are still a lot out there so we will just have to wait and see what comes back.
    image 209 Invited
    image 151 Yes
    image 46 No

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  • rustytammyrustytammy member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Confession ~ I am so happy that my FIL's live out of state.  As pushy as my FMIL has proven in the last few weeks I could only imagine what it would be like if we lived close!!!  Oh and if we wanted kids!  I am positive that would be a battle.  Good thing we don't want kids.  ;-)

    I too was relieved when we had several no's on the RSVP list.  We were slightly over what we could have for our venue and I was seriously worried that everyone was going to reply yes.
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    image 84 Invited
    image 68 Yes
    image 16 No
    image 0 Unknown
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  • joellennitschejoellennitsche member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    rustytammy said:
    Confession ~ I am so happy that my FIL's live out of state.  As pushy as my FMIL has proven in the last few weeks I could only imagine what it would be like if we lived close!!!  Oh and if we wanted kids!  I am positive that would be a battle.  Good thing we don't want kids.  ;-)

    I too was relieved when we had several no's on the RSVP list.  We were slightly over what we could have for our venue and I was seriously worried that everyone was going to reply yes.
    my FMIL has been has been awful these past 2 weeks! normally i love her, but she got on my nerves the other day with inviting her friends to the shower and inviting them to the wedding. now i was nice enough to invite them to the wedding, but as for the shower, i didnt invite them, my sister is running the shower and i went over the list with her. i do not know these people, never met them in my life so i believe i made the right decision on not inviting them as my family is paying for the shower and the wedding!  if she wants she can have a groom side shower and invite her friends (i wanted to say this to her but refrained from doing so) so she went to dinner with one of the ppl that i invited to the wedding and the woman said she never recieved a STD or an invite. i looked her up on my list and she was there my FMIL got all mad at me and asked me to send her invite to wedding and shower. i told her i did send one to wedding and said nothing about the shower as i am not planning it! turned out that she gave me the wrong city of the woman so she never got her invite!! ugh. i could have flipped out, first time i wanted to be a bridezilla in this whole process.
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  • hardlyhannahhardlyhannah member
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    Stina51286 said:
    Confession- I feel like a little kid that is waiting for Christmas with my shower being on Saturday. I never thought I'd stalk my registry, but I do, a lot.
    It's going to be so much fun!!
    image 209 Invited
    image 151 Yes
    image 46 No

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  • joellennitschejoellennitsche member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    i am a registry stalker as well! my shower is a week from this sunday!
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  • rustytammyrustytammy member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Confession ~ Wedding planning has me so scattered brained that I've been making mistakes at work.  *sigh*  Doesn't help the I am super slow so all I want to do is work on wedding stuff.  LOL
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    image 84 Invited
    image 68 Yes
    image 16 No
    image 0 Unknown
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Unpop op: I don't understand showers. Like, at all. I don't know why people want to surround themselves with people while they open things that are supposedly for both people in the relationship but only one person is opening. I also don't understand why you're expected to bring a gift to the shower and a different gift to the wedding. Isn't that giving two gifts for the same damn thing? Fucking gift double jeopardy.

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  • EmilyTorkEmilyTork member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Confession: Count me in for another bride looking for "declines." I want to have everybody there, but at the same time we have more invited than I really wanted. And we are looking at around 90% acceptance most likely...

    @thejudeidea : I agree. TBH, if I was invited to both a shower and wedding, I'd give a gift only at the shower. A friend recently had two baby showers (one for her family, one for boyfriend's family). I was invited to both. She only got one gift. 
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  • Stina51286Stina51286 member
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    @thejudeidea & @EmilyTork - when I get invited to both, I give a smaller gift for both the wedding and the shower to equal what I would have given if I was just invited to the wedding.

     

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  • rustytammyrustytammy member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper

    alisonmarie658 said:
    Stina51286 said:
    thejudeidea & EmilyTork - when I get invited to both, I give a smaller gift for both the wedding and the shower to equal what I would have given if I was just invited to the wedding.
    Me too. And on my budget it helps to have the shower/wedding spread out slightly rather than one big gift all at once.
    This is why I've asked for no gifts at the shower.  It will be two weeks before the wedding and I just don't feel right having people give two gifts within such a short time.  Plus the bachelorette party is in between all of this!   That's three weekends of spending lots of money!!!
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    image 84 Invited
    image 68 Yes
    image 16 No
    image 0 Unknown
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  • archerstararcherstar member
    First Comment
    EmilyTork said:
    Confession: Count me in for another bride looking for "declines." I want to have everybody there, but at the same time we have more invited than I really wanted. And we are looking at around 90% acceptance most likely...

    @thejudeidea : I agree. TBH, if I was invited to both a shower and wedding, I'd give a gift only at the shower. A friend recently had two baby showers (one for her family, one for boyfriend's family). I was invited to both. She only got one gift. 


    That seems awfully passive aggressive. Why not just decline on the shower if it offends you so much to be asked to give gifts at both? I can see not attending two baby showers for one person though.

    Around here 99% of people give cash, not gifts at the wedding. So I guess the shower is isn't viewed as "double jeopardy", just a way for close family and friends to "shower" a couple with gifts for their home. And both of us will be opening gifts at our shower, not just me.

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  • Clpapke83Clpapke83 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Confession.. I've been thinking that either our mailman doesn't wanna give us out RSVP cards or peoples hands are broke. Haha. I've been so excited going to the mailbox, but no replies in over a week, but sept 1st is the reply by date.


    I'm really getting nervous because even tho we have had a few no's I've invited over the limit accidentally. (I forgot to include wedding party in the guest count) so we are about 5 people over if I don't get anymore no's. Woops!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    image 107 Invited so far!
    image 63 Are comming!
    image 9 Will be missing out!
    image 36 Can't find the mailbox!
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  • hardlyhannahhardlyhannah member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    Random Discussion - my boss told me today that she and one of my other coworkers can't come to the wedding. :-( They feel really bad/sad about it, and I really wanted them there, but we work on events and one of their high executive level events changed dates to the Sunday after the wedding and they have to fly out there that Saturday to set up.

    Those aren't the no's I want!!
    image 209 Invited
    image 151 Yes
    image 46 No

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  • hardlyhannahhardlyhannah member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    On a happier note, I received an email today with this title (and red exclamation pointed) "Mani or Pedi's???"

    We are having a planning session in two weeks and for our 'team building' exercise we are picking one or the other and going to a spa together to get them done. SWEET!
    image 209 Invited
    image 151 Yes
    image 46 No

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  • EmilyTorkEmilyTork member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Not passive aggressive. Just don't have a ton of money to spend. We give nice gifts and I would give a decent sized gift at the shower, and a card at the wedding.

    In the end most of our friends aren't at the point to be getting married (a lot of single guys who are enjoying single life haha) so wedding gift giving isn't generally a big deal.

    Showers are gift giving events, therefor I'd give the gift then. It's also not customary in my area to show up empty handed to the wedding (people don't send gifts ahead of time). But I like the idea of what @Stina51286. Just give two smaller gifts totaling what you would have given.
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