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Asking Bridesmaid to Cover Clevage

ahancoahanco
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Ok, I told my bridesmaids to choose their own dresses in a navy color. While I didn't specify that I didn't want a whole lot of cleavage (I'm busty, so I know cleavage can be hard to avoid at times), I assumed my ladies would go on the more conservative side since they know my family very well. To my dismay one of my girls is all but hanging out of her dress. It is extremely low cut, and it is magnified by the fact that she has A LOT of giddy up in her girls. There's a good six inches of cleavage here, and I'm not exaggerating. Her dress did come with a tube top to put beneath it, but she shows no interest in wearing it. I'm not sure how I broach the subject with her or if it's even polite to ask her to cover up. I don't want to be mean, but dang. That's a lot of booby. Any suggestions out there?
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Re: Asking Bridesmaid to Cover Clevage

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    wiki8wiki8 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In my opinion, yes this is one of the things you are allowed to ask her to cover up. I also let my bridesmaids choose their own dresses, but went with them when they were choosing. One of them was adamant to pick a dress that was so low cut it went below her bra line. I personally felt like it was okay to ask her to either choose a different dress or wear something to cover up to an acceptable level. I just said I felt uncomfortable with the neck line, she fought it a little at first, but a few other bridesmaids also commented on how low cut it was and how it wasn't appropriate so she ended up just choosing a different dress. Don't attack her or make her feel poorly about it, just point out you would appreciate if she wore the tube top also. I'm sure she will also realize it's a formal occasion and not appropriate to have her cleavage hanging out.
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    KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
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    Since you told your BMs to choose their own dresses, I don't think you have a lot of recourse here. Maybe you could buy all your BMs pashminas, but even then you can't make her wear one.
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    NYCBruinNYCBruin member
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    ahanco said:
    Ok, I told my bridesmaids to choose their own dresses in a navy color. While I didn't specify that I didn't want a whole lot of cleavage (I'm busty, so I know cleavage can be hard to avoid at times), I assumed my ladies would go on the more conservative side since they know my family very well. To my dismay one of my girls is all but hanging out of her dress. It is extremely low cut, and it is magnified by the fact that she has A LOT of giddy up in her girls. There's a good six inches of cleavage here, and I'm not exaggerating. Her dress did come with a tube top to put beneath it, but she shows no interest in wearing it. I'm not sure how I broach the subject with her or if it's even polite to ask her to cover up. I don't want to be mean, but dang. That's a lot of booby. Any suggestions out there?
    What's your reason for wanting her to cover up?

    If your church/temple requires a certain amount of "coverage" during the ceremony, I think you can inform your friend about this.

    If it's just a personal preference, since you let her pick her own dress I don't think there's anything you can do/say without being rude.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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    ahancoahanco
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    It's not for religious reasons. I just think that's too much boob for this particular occasion.

    I mean she loves the dress and has other occasions she's intending to wear it for, but I just really would appreciate if she used the available coverage for the wedding. I don't just want to come out be like, "Look, that's too much titty."
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    NYCBruinNYCBruin member
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    Liatris2010 said:
    I think it depends on your relationship and your ability to let it go. If you can say something nice about the dress and follow it up with, "but it is very sexy for a wedding a ceremony" and then drop it, I think it is safe to say something. But if her response isn't an immediate offer to cover up, then you'll need to say, "If sure you'll look great however you wear the dress" and drop the subject, never bringing it up again. If you don't have that kind of self control, don't bring it up at all.
    This.  Since it's just because you don't like it and you let them pick out their dresses, this is the most you can do.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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    AbbyjensenAbbyjensen member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Because the dress comes with a tube top, I would suggest she wears the tube top during the ceremony, and blame it on the church or mom or grandma. If it didn't come with a tube top I wouldn't say anything, but becaue the dress is supposed to be worn with something else, I think it's fine.
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    Bubbles2014Bubbles2014 member
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    It depends on your relationship with the friend. If I was in the same position with my best friend then I would say something, but I know that she wouldn't get offended and she probably hadn't thought that it might be too revealing for a wedding. Are you very close with this girl? I would assume yes, since she is your BM.

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    amorrison340amorrison340 member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    As a busty girl myself, while I understand where you're coming from on this, I think you're going to have to let it go.  

    You mentioned she loves the dress and wants to wear it for other occasions, so she probably feels great in it.  Feel good that you were able to make her feel so happy and confident.  It will make the day so much better for both of you.  The amount of cleavage will probably have very little impact on how much fun both of you have.  If I felt great in a dress and someone brought this up, it could a real confidence killer.  I would stay on the side of caution and keep silent.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If there's no venue or religious restrictions about a low-cut, busty style of dress, I think you're going to have to leave it alone.  Sorry.
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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    You can go with the pashmina route and ask them to wear it for the ceremony, but other than that, pack a roll of double-sided tape and hope for the best.
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    misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
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    Simply Fated said:
    You can go with the pashmina route and ask them to wear it for the ceremony, but other than that, pack a roll of double-sided tape and hope for the best.
    This. It sucks, but it's all you can do. 
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    RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
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    Bubbles2014 said:
    It depends on your relationship with the friend. If I was in the same position with my best friend then I would say something, but I know that she wouldn't get offended and she probably hadn't thought that it might be too revealing for a wedding. Are you very close with this girl? I would assume yes, since she is your BM.
    This. Although, in my book, if I'm not close enough to someone to tell her that she needs to cover her boobs more, she isn't close enough to be in my wedding party.
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    NYCBruinNYCBruin member
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    RebeccaB88 said:
    Bubbles2014 said:
    It depends on your relationship with the friend. If I was in the same position with my best friend then I would say something, but I know that she wouldn't get offended and she probably hadn't thought that it might be too revealing for a wedding. Are you very close with this girl? I would assume yes, since she is your BM.
    This. Although, in my book, if I'm not close enough to someone to tell her that she needs to cover her boobs more, she isn't close enough to be in my wedding party.
    Eh I think this depends on the person.  I have friends that would be offended/take it as an insult if I said that they needed to cover up and there wasn't a religious/venue required reason.  
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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    Teddy917Teddy917 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    You could mention that you're worried about the negative attention that she might get.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    If i were in your shoes I would just go "I love the dress and you look so sexy in it. But you know how my family is, super conservative, would you mind wearing the tube top part for the ceremony and pictures (pictures because we'll be sharing them with those same conservative family members) and then for the reception you can take the tube top off."

    If she says no, well, you're out of luck. But hopefully you guys have a good enough relationship where she will be, sure no problem, I totally forgot about them when I picked the dress out
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    PixeKat86PixeKat86 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Is it one of those convertible dresses? I wouldn't wear one of those without the matching tube tops because of the cleavage issue with bigger boobs in those dresses.  I think you can ask her to wear the tube top for at least the ceremony and pictures and take it off for the reception if she wants to.
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