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Should I Send a Thank You Card?

RandS52613RandS52613
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Okay, so there is a girl I use to work with who I was actually pretty good friends with. She was invited to our wedding, and gave us a gift. Long story short, she did something when I got back from my honeymoon that made me lose my trust in her. All she said was, "I'm sorry," and that was it, and the only reason it seemed like she was apologizing was because she needed someone to talk to. Her apology just seemed really insincere.

She gave us a very small gift ($15), and after what she did to me, I'm really having a hard time deciding if I should send her a thank you card, and if I did, what I would even say on it. I'm still so mad at her that all it would really say is, "Thanks," and that would be it. 

Any advice?
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Re: Should I Send a Thank You Card?

  • Grabows14Grabows14 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    Be the bigger person and send the thank you.. you didn't tell us the situation so I'm not sure if that is applicable to every situation. Basically if you don't send a card it's rude. If you want to be rude don't send the card

    Edited for spelling
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    RandS52613 said:
    Okay, so there is a girl I use to work with who I was actually pretty good friends with. She was invited to our wedding, and gave us a gift. Long story short, she did something when I got back from my honeymoon that made me lose my trust in her. All she said was, "I'm sorry," and that was it, and the only reason it seemed like she was apologizing was because she needed someone to talk to. Her apology just seemed really insincere.

    She gave us a very small gift ($15), and after what she did to me, I'm really having a hard time deciding if I should send her a thank you card, and if I did, what I would even say on it. I'm still so mad at her that all it would really say is, "Thanks," and that would be it. 

    Any advice?
    For me, it would depend on what she did.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    JoanE2012 said:
    RandS52613 said:
    Okay, so there is a girl I use to work with who I was actually pretty good friends with. She was invited to our wedding, and gave us a gift. Long story short, she did something when I got back from my honeymoon that made me lose my trust in her. All she said was, "I'm sorry," and that was it, and the only reason it seemed like she was apologizing was because she needed someone to talk to. Her apology just seemed really insincere.

    She gave us a very small gift ($15), and after what she did to me, I'm really having a hard time deciding if I should send her a thank you card, and if I did, what I would even say on it. I'm still so mad at her that all it would really say is, "Thanks," and that would be it. 

    Any advice?
    For me, it would depend on what she did.
    Me too.  At a minimum I'd write a thank-you note that thanks her for the $15 and tells her how you plan to use it.  Beyond that, it really depends on what her original offense was.
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  • AjulianaAjuliana member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think what she spent is not relevant.  You get a gift, you send a thank you.  I spend the same on everyone, regardless of how much I like them, and if someone threw a fit it wasn't "enough" for them when I make 30K a year and FI is in between jobs, I would be pissed.
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  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    Just be civil and send the thank you card. Sending a thank you card doesn't mean you have to like her or even talk to her. You just need to show gratitude for the gift. 
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I would send the thank you card, but I wouldn't say anything about being excited about seeing her soon or getting together sometime or anything along those lines since you're not getting along.
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Two lines saying thank you is fine. Keep it short and not mushy but definitely send one.
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  • RandS52613RandS52613
    First Anniversary First Comment
    She got me in really big trouble at work. I confided in her about something the company was doing that I thought was shady and was screwing me and a few people over, and said something about transferring back to my old store before I left (we moved across country not long after the wedding, and I was basically working for free by driving 45 minutes vs. 5 minutes to work). We always talked about stuff like that, knowing that it was just between the two of us. She then told her boss to "test the water" for me, and then he told my boss. If my boss hadn't been such a nice guy, I would have been fired. I never asked her to do that, and she was just kind of "oh well" about the whole thing. That's why I really don't want to send her a thank you card. I just find what she did to be unforgivable, and if she really had been my friend, she wouldn't have done that.
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Write the thank you. All you're required to be is civil.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Someone gave you a gift and you have to ask if you should send a thank you card? 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • RandS52613RandS52613
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm only asking because of the situation. If someone you thought was a good friend did something to betray you, you'd be asking the same question. I've never been in this situation before, and I was hoping someone with a similar experience would have a little insight. There's no need to be catty and condescending with your response.

    Thank you everyone for your advice. I at least have a good idea now of what to write on the card.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    RandS52613 said:
    I'm only asking because of the situation. If someone you thought was a good friend did something to betray you, you'd be asking the same question. 
    Actually, no, I wouldn't, b/c I know that the polite and proper thing to do when someone gives me a gift is to properly thank them for it. 





    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    RandS52613 said:
    I'm only asking because of the situation. If someone you thought was a good friend did something to betray you, you'd be asking the same question. I've never been in this situation before, and I was hoping someone with a similar experience would have a little insight. There's no need to be catty and condescending with your response. Thank you everyone for your advice. I at least have a good idea now of what to write on the card.
    I totally understand that you feel hurt by someone who was a friend. But in this situation, the right thing to do is send a thank you card. Your feel towards her and what she did doesn't mean you can't show appreciation of the gift. Just be civil and send the card. All correspondence after the thank you card is optional. The card doesn't even have to say a lot. Just express your gratitude for the gift, mention what you plan to do with it, and say thank you for the gesture. 

    Regardless, I really do wish you luck with the situation. I know it must be tough to deal with someone that hurt you on a daily basis
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