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asked me to change hair color for wedding

chrisandsarahweddingchrisandsarahwedding
Third Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Party
I love my sister in law, but the other day she asked me to change my hair color for her wedding. I am in her bridal party, so I get that she wants things to look a certain way. Do you think this is a little too far? Its not like its a normal color either...she wants me to dye it lilac purple. I actually had this color a month ago for a comic convention..so I get that she saw it already and likes the color..but.. for a wedding? I just feel like I would be completely out of place, especially since no one else will have any type of funky color. I just don't really know what do say.. I basically said, I'll see if the hair stylist is free..but I am wishing I had told her no. Do you think I should go through with it or just tell her I am sorry. Also my dress is purple...so it would be purple on purple...different shades.. :/. What should I do?
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Re: asked me to change hair color for wedding

  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    That is bizarre and rude, regardless of it being a color you've had in the past. Tell her you won't do it because you don't feel like having it that color right now. Or if you're confrontation-shy, that your stylist is booked up, sorry.
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  • mrsbizzzmrsbizzz member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Tell her no. Bridesmaids do a lot for their brides, but major changes to their physical appearance should not be one of them. This is one thing she cannot expect you to do.
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  • davisse3davisse3 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    Wow. You are right to feel uncomfortable - that's pretty controlling. Did she give any explanation why? Not that it justifies her asking you to physically change part of your body.

    If you are not comfortable do it, don't. It fine to ask you to wear something specific, but your hair is still part of your body. 

    I'm guessing since you have had it that way previously, it wouldn't be an issue with you job? @artbyallie has a good idea with the stylist is booked up. That does, however, leave her wiggle room to book you an appointment with a different stylist herself if it sounds like you are ok with it but can't for only that reason. I think your best bet is to just tell her you aren't really comfortable with it. 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    How odd that she would want you to dye it an unusual color. Usually, we see it the other way around. Yes, it's rude of her to ask you to do that. If you don't want to do it, I would just say, "I really don't want my hair that color. Sorry." 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    That is so bizarre. I would just tell her that after thinking about it you've decided you don't want your hair that color.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    "No, thank you."
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You can change places with the BM on another thread that insists she dye her hair purple. That bride wants no part of it.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    mobkaz said:

    You can change places with the BM on another thread that insists she dye her hair purple. That bride wants no part of it.

    I was thinking the same thing lol.

    OP, It's your hair, your choice. Just tell the bride that it isn't going to be possible, after all.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    KeptInStitches said:
    "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

    Or you could always go with "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request."

    Or just "No."
    This is why I loved.
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  • chrisandsarahweddingchrisandsarahwedding
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    thanks ladies, I think I will most likely say I had a change of heart and don't really want purple hair with the purple dress. I dont think she will be too upset, at least I hope not. If she does end up getting mad I'll just have to get my hubby to say something and how it wasn't very tactful to ask me to do such things. 

    @KeptlnStitches: Haha I should say the 2nd option you gave! I doubt she would get the movie reference there though lol

    I'll have to find that other thread to read, I mean I understand if my hair color was funky now and she wanted it a more normal color, I would have done that anyway..but I think if I change it back to purple I will look utterly ridiculous with everyone else. Also she wants me to dye my shoes to the same purple color as my dress or the same hair color purple. I didn't even know you could dye fancy shoes. Plus I doubt it would come out as a matching purple.
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited August 2013
    Yuck. I hope she's paying for the shoes. Really, she should be if she's asking for specially-dyed shoes.

    ETA: Oh, and @artbyallie, I live to amuse.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Ugh. Dyed-to-match shoes are so '80s and not in a good way.
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  • Bubbles2014Bubbles2014 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Just say no. Bitches be crazy.

    My mother had a vision in her head of me (brunette) with my 2 brunette bridesmaids. My MOH has gone blondish and my mother wanted to know if she was going to dye it back for the wedding.

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  • GB520GB520 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    I'd be flipping out if I were you. Its like she wants you guys to look like Barney. I was going to say the  only way I think it would be understandable to ask, is if the BM' s hair is an unnatural looking color. But apparently that's the look she's going for. Some girls really lose sight of the importance of the day. 
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    LeSwan85 said:
    GB520 said:
    I'd be flipping out if I were you. Its like she wants you guys to look like Barney. I was going to say the  only way I think it would be understandable to ask, is if the BM' s hair is an unnatural looking color. But apparently that's the look she's going for. Some girls really lose sight of the importance of the day. 
    Still not understandable. Your body is your own, bridesmaid or not. That includes the hair on your head. Unless you shave it off. Which at this point, quite frankly is something I'd really like to see done in the face of all these brides who think they own their bridal party.
    Amen.

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  • TotalGlamBrideTotalGlamBride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    This can't be real.
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Hahahaha, no. Tell her that it's your hair and you will wear the color you choose to.
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