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How much in poor taste would this be...

FutureMrsWood2014FutureMrsWood2014 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I apologize if this has already been answered but I have questions that I need to bounce off you ladies..

 

FH and I have decided to forgo the big wedding in lieu of a simple courthouse ceremony with family and a couple close (like lifelong) friends. We decided that we would do this around lunch time on a Friday and have a family dinner afterwards to celebrate. I will be wearing a dress (its a very simple, casual tea length dress) and he'll be in a suit. We are taking pics around downtown for our wedding pics.

My questions are:

1. Is it in poor taste to wear my dress to the wedding celebration party the next day? What about if we have the celebration the same day as the wedding? I personally think it's alright since it's a pretty casual dress. 

2. How should invites be worded to indicate that it's not a wedding but a celebration?

3. How do I go about the registry? People have already asked about it (I think it's poor taste to register since we're not having a big wedding but just a party but apparently people want to know where we register).

I would really appreciate any insight on this. I realize that I don't get the PPD for the celebration but I'd like to wear the dress again cause it's so damn cute!

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Re: How much in poor taste would this be...

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I don't see any harm in wearing the dress again. As for registering, I don't think it's a good idea. I would just continue to tell people you are not registering anywhere. 

    FutureMrs.Wood and Husband were married in a private ceremony on X date. Please join them in a celebration of their marriage on X date. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • FutureMrsWood2014FutureMrsWood2014 member
    First Comment
    Thank you Addie! I don't want to register (I registered when I had a wee one and it was such a pain in the butt), and besides we already have everything we really need. I know people are still going to want to bring gifts (I have a very giving family and bunch of friends), but I really do think it's tacky to register.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Tell them when they ask that you're not registering because you're having a private ceremony.
    image
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  • SB1512SB1512 member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I would just keep telling people you aren't registering and hope that you dont' end up with a lot of random gifts you don't want or won't use.
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    OP, you said that your ceremony is going to be at a courthouse "with family and a couple close (lifelong) friends." Is the family dinner you mentioned next going to be right after that ceremony, or is that the celebration that's taking place the next day? If you're inviting people to witness your marriage, you should thank them with a reception of some kind, even if it's just cake and punch afterwards at your place. A celebration party can certainly take place the next day, but if you aren't doing anything at all for your guests that joined you at the courthouse until the next day, I'd say that's the longest gap I've ever heard of.
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  • Oceansurf70Oceansurf70 member
    10 Comments
    I am doing something very similiar as far as a court house ceremony (only the two of us) followed by a family marriage celebration (only his family) on a different day. I am also trying to figure out correct wording to the "celebration."    As far as your questions - I think it isn't tacky to wear the same dress on a different day if it isn't super "wedding dress-y" which it sounds like it isn't.   On the registry - we are not registering and if/when anyone asks, I just say that we aren't registering anywhere.  My opinion is you shouldn't speak of gifts at all. Or say, "all we want is the pleasure of your company."
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    "Miss Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith will be married September 18, 2013 in New York, New York. Please join us for a celebration at Tavern on the Green on Saturday, September 21, 2013 at seven o'clock." Sounds like your dress will be perfect! If you do decide to do a registry, I recommend you keep it quite small, such as having your china and crystal selections only.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited August 2013
    Comment deleted
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    What is this celebration the next day including? Can I ask you (because I'm genuinely curious), why don't you just have one event and let everyone watch you get married?
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  • GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    misssunshine17 said:

    What is this celebration the next day including? Can I ask you (because I'm genuinely curious), why don't you just have one event and let everyone watch you get married?

    ^^°°this
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  • MuppetOverlordMuppetOverlord member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yeah, why not just have the wedding the next day with the party guests? It doesn't really have to change anything except that your JP would come to you.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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  • FutureMrsWood2014FutureMrsWood2014 member
    First Comment

    We are thinking about the celebration the next day cause we are unsure whether the court would be able to marry us on a Saturday.. I have no experience with what they will and wont do. I'm the only one of my friends who is opting out of the PPD so I'm not entirely sure whether the JP would come to us or not.

    To answer a previous question (I think Jelly asked it.. if I'm wrong, sorry!), the friends who are attending the ceremony are invited to the dinner right afterwards. I wouldn't have them come and then say "see ya" without feeding them and thanking them properly.

    We are opting for the celebration and courthouse because we want to save money. Neither of us can wrap our heads around spending $6,5000 on a wedding (I've done research and for a venue and catering, that's what we would be looking at.) when we have student loans and a kiddo. Plus, we're more of laid back people and not big fancy wedding people.

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  • MuppetOverlordMuppetOverlord member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2013
    Don't marry at a courthouse. Get a JP who will come to you at the reception (just google and call some, I guarantee you will find one. Most weddings are on Saturdays). Keep same plans otherwise. You'll actually save money by not having to pay for the 11 people the night before and you won't offend anyone.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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