Ok. A friend of mine had asked me to be her Matron of Honor. I asked her first if it was OK, as I didn't want to step on anyone's toes since her bridal party consisted of very close friends and family. She said they were all on board and were happy she was asking me. So, I automatically start planning, as I love planning parties/weddings/etc. Then she tells me she's getting married at the JOP and that she's doing ANOTHER wedding next year when they can afford it and she told her other friend that was upset that she could also be a Matron of Honor and doesn't have to do anything because it's all "up to me." So, I informed her, if she's doing her JOP ceremony and dinner then she really doesn't need a Bridal Party as it's not "something big.' That's what she told me. Well, it turned into something big, that I wasn't invited to. She had her hair done, flowers bought, dress, wrote their own vows, rented tables, chairs, got a tent, had a small, intimate reception with about 25 people or so. She even make cookies that said "Thank You" on them and had a wedding cake. Got pictures taken, a video. Now, to me, that's a wedding! Yes, we had almost 200 people at ours last year BUT that was our choice, our wedding. What she had was in deed a wedding on a smaller scale. Well, SHE still wants her "big day" next year. She told me she still wants a shower, a bachelorette party, ceremony, etc... I told her that I would not feel comfortable, nor classy, throwing a bridal shower for someone that's already married, as a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride to be, and a bachelorette party is completely out of the question since she WON'T be a bachelorette and it'll be more than a year later! I feel like when she chose to have her JOP ceremony and reception, that was her wedding. She invited those 25 people. I A. feel awkward inviting people to something that following year that they weren't invited to the year before because I couldn't afford it. To me, that's rude. and B. NONE of her "bridal party" was invited. It was family, mostly. So, now I'm in a pickle. I told her next year she should just throw a party, no bridal party, no ceremony, nothing. She HATES that idea. I also informed her that her "wedding next year" wouldn't be a wedding ceremony, since they're already married. She said she would just have a friend go up there and pretend to go through the whole wedding again since they're already married, they don't need anyone official. I feel bad because I really did look forward to being in my FIRST wedding (finally) and really helping her but all these things are against my better judgement. I don't know how to explain her that this isn't something that you do. They didn't HAVE TO get married at the JOP. He's not in the services, they aren't being separated. They live together with her mother. She said she was doing it for insurance purposes, then days before her ceremony, she decided she's getting her own insurance. So, they did it to be married. Which they could have done any way they wanted and to me, that's what they chose and did. I don't feel like you get another wedding the following year because you couldn't afford the big one the year before. Heck, it poured like crazy on my wedding day. Tornado warnings and everything and I was in a horse and carriage (haha) BUT I don't get to re-do it a year later because everything wasn't how I planned. It was our wedding day. The way we chose. I just don't know what to say to her anymore and don't feel right being a part of this. Please help.