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Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Post Dinner Invites

PanamaGigiPanamaGigi member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Our wedding is planned. The venue doesn't hold that many people.  I have a few friends that I hang out with about 3 times per year. I met them through other friends (mutual ), and a few co -workers. The co - workers I spend some time with then outside of work. 
I have been reading about the " rudeness" of inviting people to party after dinner. I personally have been invited to such things and have never been offended.
I wan't to make personalized invites for the after dinner gathering and mail them out.
Thoughts???
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Re: Post Dinner Invites

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I think your tiered reception sounds quite rude.  Invite them to dinner or nothing at all.
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  • PanamaGigiPanamaGigi member
    First Comment
    I appreciate it. 
    Thanks!
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    PanamaGigi said:
    Our wedding is planned. The venue doesn't hold that many people.  I have a few friends that I hang out with about 3 times per year. I met them through other friends (mutual ), and a few co -workers. The co - workers I spend some time with then outside of work. 
    I have been reading about the " rudeness" of inviting people to party after dinner. I personally have been invited to such things and have never been offended.
    I wan't to make personalized invites for the after dinner gathering and mail them out.
    Thoughts???

    I think your tiered reception plan is quite rude also. All or nothing.
    Report Reply
  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 2013
    It's good that you weren't offended when you received that sort of invite. It means you've got thick skin which isn't a bad thing and it means the rude people who gave you those invites have a loyal friend who can look past their rudeness.
    However not everyone feels that way. I know I'd be offended if I got invited to just the after-dinner portion of a wedding. I'd understand if someone I only saw three times a year was having a small wedding and couldn't invite me; I'd get that. But I got something in the mail about an after-dinner reception invite, this is what would run through my mind:

    "So... they don't like me enough to invite me to see their wedding... and they definitely don't like me enough to pay to feed me... but they still think I might want to spend my Saturday night getting ready for and going to the latter part of their wedding? Why? To see them pretty in their formal wear and bring them a present? Are they going to allow me to drink anything? Will there even be a chair for me?? If they're breaking etiquette in this respect, what kind of train wreck will the rest of this be?"

    Just skip this plan. Enjoy your wedding with the guests that you invite to the whole thing, and meet up with your friends again some number of weeks after your wedding for dinner & drinks.
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  • PanamaGigiPanamaGigi member
    First Comment
    Thanks for the info. Your suggestion does sound valid.
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  • PanamaGigiPanamaGigi member
    First Comment
    Thanks!
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Do all or nothing.  The fact that you were not offended by it doesn't cancel out the breach of etiquette that it constitutes.
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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    All or nothing.  What do the "party" guests do if the dinner and speeches run late, and they are left waiting outside the reception hall, or sneaking in with nowhere to sit??  It would be pretty awkward I think.  Can you move venues, or move to a larger space within your current venue to allow for a larger guest list??  

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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    PanamaGigi said:
    Our wedding is planned. The venue doesn't hold that many people.  I have a few friends that I hang out with about 3 times per year. I met them through other friends (mutual ), and a few co -workers. The co - workers I spend some time with then outside of work. 
    I have been reading about the " rudeness" of inviting people to party after dinner. I personally have been invited to such things and have never been offended.
    I wan't to make personalized invites for the after dinner gathering and mail them out.
    Thoughts???
    No.

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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    grumbledore said:
    PanamaGigi said:
    Our wedding is planned. The venue doesn't hold that many people.  I have a few friends that I hang out with about 3 times per year. I met them through other friends (mutual ), and a few co -workers. The co - workers I spend some time with then outside of work. 
    I have been reading about the " rudeness" of inviting people to party after dinner. I personally have been invited to such things and have never been offended.
    I wan't to make personalized invites for the after dinner gathering and mail them out.
    Thoughts???
    No.
    Took the words right out of my mouth.
    Report Reply
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