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We're witnesses for close friends -- also going to wedding; when do we give gifts?!

ladyalison22ladyalison22
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My husband was invited to be the witness for a close friend's civil ceremony, but the invitation was extended for me to attend as well.  In total, there will be about 15 people for that ceremony.  Next month, the actual wedding will take place.  Should we bring a gift to the civil ceremony in addition to the wedding? If yes, what scale should the civil gift be on (token, significant, meaningful, financial)?

Thanks so much for your help!!!
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Re: We're witnesses for close friends -- also going to wedding; when do we give gifts?!

  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'd take a gift to whichever ceremony they actually get legally married at.  That's their REAL wedding. I wouldn't take anything to a do-over wedding, if I attended at all.
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'd bring my gift only to the civil ceremony since that's when they're actually getting married.
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  • MuppetOverlordMuppetOverlord member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    The newsflash is that you're going to real wedding.

    Why are they having another one a month later? Are they getting married in another country? Or was there something preventing them from being legally married in a month?

    I'd bring the gift to the real wedding.

    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would send a gift to their home prior to the first ceremony. I'm of the school that gifts are never brought to weddings, they are sent ahead.
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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    ladyalison22 said:
    My husband was invited to be the witness for a close friend's civil ceremony, but the invitation was extended for me to attend as well.  In total, there will be about 15 people for that ceremony.  Next month, the actual wedding will take place.  Should we bring a gift to the civil ceremony in addition to the wedding? If yes, what scale should the civil gift be on (token, significant, meaningful, financial)?

    Thanks so much for your help!!!
    image

    How are you married and don't know what a real wedding is?





    Anniversary
    image

    image
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  • Coghoot12Coghoot12 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I'm very thankful for this post. I had a civil ceremony. I had no idea it didn't count as a real wedding. Can't wait to start planning!

    (Please, please see the sarcasm dripping off this post)

    OP, I would also love to know the reasoning behind a 1 month later PPD. This makes no sense at all.
    image
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  • annmarie714annmarie714 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    You know...getting a marriage certificate isn't a civil ceremony. You can bring that to your wedding day and have an officiant make it legal.  No PPD needed!
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    annmarie714 said:
    You know...getting a marriage certificate isn't a civil ceremony. You can bring that to your wedding day and have an officiant make it legal.  No PPD needed!

    ??? Getting a certificate doesn't require a witness. Getting a certificate doesn't involve a ceremony either.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited August 2013
    I'd send the gift to one of them at their home before the first ceremony, rather than bringing it. 

    I found out the hard way that bringing gifts to the actual wedding isn't a good idea when I did this at my cousin's wedding, and not only was there no designated place to put it (I was told to leave it in a room they were using to store some of their own possessions, which I did), but after the wedding, not him, or the bride, but his mother called me to tell me it got lost.  I never got thanked for it.
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  • annmarie714annmarie714 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    NYCMercedes said:
    annmarie714 said:
    You know...getting a marriage certificate isn't a civil ceremony. You can bring that to your wedding day and have an officiant make it legal.  No PPD needed!

    ??? Getting a certificate doesn't require a witness. Getting a certificate doesn't involve a ceremony either.
    Exactly.  There is no point for them to have a civil ceremony and then a month later a PPD.  There is absolutely no rhyme or reason for the civil ceremony the OP is talking about when the PPD is a month later.
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    What exactly is happening at this thing a month after the civil ceremony? Is it a wedding reenactment or some sort of religious ceremony?
    image
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