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Nightmare MOG

jesssmi5465jesssmi5465
First Comment
in Wedding Woes

My future mother in law has been such a nightmare!!! We have been waiting on her guest list for MONTHS now and everything is being held up because of this.  She also insists that FI cut his down instead of the other way around, which he has already done to accommodate her people.  She also told us she is uninterested in our wedding because she is not involved in making decisions, even though she is not giving us a dime towards the wedding.  Is there a polite way I can tell her to take a back seat?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

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Re: Nightmare MOG

  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Have your FI give your FMIL a cut-off date for her list and then send out invites once that date comes and goes.   Stop catering to her.

    Also, how many people are on her 'list'?  I mean, aren't most of your FI's relatives and close family friends invited?  How many other people could she want to add?
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  • jesssmi5465jesssmi5465
    First Comment
    She wants to invite 55 family members to the wedding.
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  • dharmabunnydharmabunny member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    Grow a spine. Calmly, but matter of factly, giveMIL a deadline for a guest list. Period. No guest list, you work with what you have.

    Even if you are a pushover, your vendors aren't. They need a firm number. They won't give a rats ass about silly power plays. No numbers, no orders, it's the client that will deal with the consequences.

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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    FI needs to give her a date and a number. Have FI tell her that if her list isn't in by the date, you'll only be inviting those on the lists received.  If her list has too many, you'll be taking the first "X" names on the list.  She can GIVE you 55 names, that doesn't mean you have to invite all those 55.

    Be glad she's not interested.  Don't discuss anything else wedding related with her besides date and number.  Once you get to actual hammering out of details, tell her what you want her to do, if anything, for the ceremony.  She doesn't have to be interested in your wedding.

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  • PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    jesssmi5465 said:

    My future mother in law has been such a nightmare!!! We have been waiting on her guest list for MONTHS now and everything is being held up because of this.  She also insists that FI cut his down instead of the other way around, which he has already done to accommodate her people.  She also told us she is uninterested in our wedding because she is not involved in making decisions, even though she is not giving us a dime towards the wedding.  Is there a polite way I can tell her to take a back seat?

    You don't have a fMIL problem, you have a FI problem. If your FI is too much of a wuss to stand up to his mother about wedding guest list/count, how will he react when she starts dictating how the two of you live your lives? When she starts telling you where to live/how to raise your kids/where to spend holidays/etc. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I agree with Barbie. 

    Also, are you intending to invite the people on her list or what?  If you're not, then why are you entertaining this charade? 

    And 55 family members in addition to the ones that are already on the list?

    FI needs to draw the line in the sand and move on from this issue. 
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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Give her a due date.  If she doesn't get the list to you on time, then she won't get to invite anyone.
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  • SBminiSBmini member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Why would she want more responsibility if she can't even get you a guest list in time?

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