Name change

marco1j · August 2013

I changed my name prior to our wedding ceremony (we are recently legally married and I did the name change early). I moved my birth name to my middle name and took his last name. I've been using all 3 names professionally and I really like it! A friend asked about my name change for gift reasons, wondering if I'd be offended if the gift had "The (his last name)'s"

I hadn't though much about how we're addressed together. Or how I feel about that situation. i know our kids will just get his last name but I intend to use all 3 names to be addressed. Would welcome hearing about any similar situations or how you decided what to do--monograms etc!

Pepper6 · August 2013

marco1j said:

I changed my name prior to our wedding ceremony (we are recently legally married and I did the name change early). I moved my birth name to my middle name and took his last name. I've been using all 3 names professionally and I really like it! A friend asked about my name change for gift reasons, wondering if I'd be offended if the gift had "The (his last name)'s" I hadn't though much about how we're addressed together. Or how I feel about that situation. i know our kids will just get his last name but I intend to use all 3 names to be addressed. Would welcome hearing about any similar situations or how you decided what to do--monograms etc!

Why?

itzMS · August 2013

marco1j said:

I changed my name prior to our wedding ceremony (we are recently legally married and I did the name change early). I moved my birth name to my middle name and took his last name. I've been using all 3 names professionally and I really like it! A friend asked about my name change for gift reasons, wondering if I'd be offended if the gift had "The (his last name)'s" I hadn't though much about how we're addressed together. Or how I feel about that situation. i know our kids will just get his last name but I intend to use all 3 names to be addressed. Would welcome hearing about any similar situations or how you decided what to do--monograms etc!

Are you telling your guests you're already legally married?

marco1j · August 2013

Nope not telling them--though if people find out we're not hiding it. I did it early to make some legal/military things were doing easier right now. I only included info in the post for context on how I'm using my name.

HisGirlFriday13 · August 2013

So you're not telling people, but you're not hiding it, and you're still expecting people to buy you gifts for your fake wedding? That's called a PPD and it's rude.

That being said, whatever you decide to do with your name is your business, and you can change your mind at any time.

blueobsidian · August 2013

You'll find that you won't get a lot of supportive comments on this post. This is what we refer to as a "pretty princess day." Your wedding ceremony was the day you got legally married, not the day you play dress up for your friends and family.

Do you really think your family will react well when they find out that you are already married and are lying to them about the upcoming event?

As far as your name, if you've already changed it to his last name, what exactly is the question? Doesn't that already indicate what your new monogram will be or how you will be addressed as a couple?

Pepper6 · August 2013

Ugh...PPD are pretty rude to begin with, but lying to your guests is just plain awful. If I was a guest, I would be really pissed off if I found out I was lied to and attended and bought a gift for a fake wedding. Just my $.02 and something to think about. I know I won't convince you not to do a PPD, but for the love of God tell your family and friends you are already married.

As for your name, since you just moved your maiden name to your middle name, your legal last name is just HisLastName. So although you may be using your full name (First, Middle, Last) you are still technically "The HisLastNames". If you wanted both names used, typically you would hyphenate.

marco1j · August 2013

Oh wow. I guess I should have left that info out! You all are pretty rude! Family knows but I won't justify our choice and the meaning behind both ceremonies for us. Until I can find out how to delete the post, no need to comment of you just want to throw your two cents in about PPD. If you knew us, you'd know that it's the FARTHEST thing from that!

NYCMercedes · August 2013

marco1j said:

Oh wow. I guess I should have left that info out! You all are pretty rude! Family knows but I won't justify our choice and the meaning behind both ceremonies for us. Until I can find out how to delete the post, no need to comment of you just want to throw your two cents in about PPD. If you knew us, you'd know that it's the FARTHEST thing from that!

smalfrie19 · August 2013

marco1j said:

Oh wow. I guess I should have left that info out! You all are pretty rude! Family knows but I won't justify our choice and the meaning behind both ceremonies for us. Until I can find out how to delete the post, no need to comment of you just want to throw your two cents in about PPD. If you knew us, you'd know that it's the FARTHEST thing from that!

You did it for your own peace of mind and to make your life easier and now you are lying to people about it. THAT is rude.

NYCBruin · August 2013

I can think of a few names people might call you when they find out the "wedding" you invited them to wasn't actually a wedding (since you have to actually get married for it to be a wedding).

I'd be so happy if my friends and family still spoke to me after I lied to them, I would let them call me whatever they wanted to.

Jen4948 · August 2013

The PPs said it all. You gave yourself "peace of mind" by lying to people. They're not going to like that.

Viczaesar · August 2013

marco1j said:

Oh wow. I guess I should have left that info out! You all are pretty rude! Family knows but I won't justify our choice and the meaning behind both ceremonies for us. Until I can find out how to delete the post, no need to comment of you just want to throw your two cents in about PPD. If you knew us, you'd know that it's the FARTHEST thing from that!

Lying to people is rude and wrong.

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

@marco1j - about monogrammed stuff, it's a personal choice. Technically, you took your husband's last name and you're married, so I see no issue with this.

When will you celebrate your anniversary? The day you actually got married, or the day of the party?

yolandamunoz · August 2013

Just a friendly note

In other cultures (not in the US, for example in South America), people have two separate and independent wedding ceremonies, one legal, and one religious. Both events can happen in different days. Most of the times, couples choose to have the wedding reception after the religious wedding.

MyNameIsNot · August 2013

marco1j said:

Nope not telling them--though if people find out we're not hiding it. I did it early to make some legal/military things were doing easier right now. I only included info in the post for context on how I'm using my name.

A lie of omission is still a lie. Pretending that you are inviting people to a wedding when you are already married is also a lie.

If you are ok with being so dishonest with people that care about you and want to celebrate with you, you need to do some self reflection. You need some morals.

Dreamergirl8812 · August 2013

marco1j said:

Oh wow. I guess I should have left that info out! You all are pretty rude! Family knows but I won't justify our choice and the meaning behind both ceremonies for us. Until I can find out how to delete the post, no need to comment of you just want to throw your two cents in about PPD. If you knew us, you'd know that it's the FARTHEST thing from that!