Questions: Veil, getting ready, and guest bringing dog

linnyv27 · August 2013

We're getting married this Sunday (yay!) and these questions have popped into my mind while planning all the details of the day.

1. Veil - Did you wear your veil just for the ceremony? Or did you wear it for pictures and/or the first dance? We're having a first look and I planned on only wearing the cathedral veil for the ceremony, but now I'm thinking it might be nice to have it on for some photos. Then again the first look will be in a park, not sure how dirty the veil can/would get.

2. Getting ready with the girls - what kind of food did you provide? I will be getting ready at a hotel from 10am-2pm and most of my bridesmaids have already said they would like to join me. Should I provide full meals or just snacks? And what would you recommend? I feel silly asking this question but I want to provide enough food for them.

3. One of my FBILs and his wife might bring their chihuahua. We don't talk to them much because the wife has caused a lot of drama with FI's family so everyone keeps their distance, but the two times we invited them over during the holidays they brought their dog. It's a really annoying dog, as she yaps none stop. They tried putting her in the car while visiting but we felt really bad for her - so we put up with the yapping in the house the two times they were here. We even had to put our husky in our bedroom because she kept trying to bite and scratch him. In May, my other FBIL got married out of town and rented a beach house for the wedding - and they brought the dog. Without even asking if it was okay, knowing the house was rented. The dog even tried biting my FI. So there's a very good chance they will bring her to our wedding.

We are getting married outdoors and the venue is okay with dogs, but we would definitely not want a dog that barks none stop at everything she sees moving. Plus, she'll probably make other guests uncomfortable. I know it would be rude to call them and say hey, don't bring your damn dog. So what can we do, if anything?

BMoreBride6 · August 2013

1) I think you will like to have some photos in your veil (although you will have pictures of you in it from the pics during your ceremony). I think that's one to spend a couple minutes surfing wedding photogs blog and websites and see what bride's photos you like (look at pictures of brides with and without veils). Are you having your hair professionally done, because they might make the decision for you. Often, the stylist will want to put the veil in while styling (especially for a cathedral veil as it will be a bit heavier), so she/he can make sure it is probably pinned and supported.

2) I would have some trays of sandwiches, maybe some kind of salad, fruit plates, veggies/dip...that kind of thing. They will be with you through lunch time and you don't want them going all day without eating.

3) It is perfectly acceptable not to allow pets at your wedding (unless it is a service animal, in which case it isn't a pet in the first place). If you need an excuse, just say you have family members who are very allergic and/or afraid of dogs or something like that.

astimmel · August 2013

Not married yet, but just from the weddings I've been in:

1. You can take it off any time. At the most recent wedding, the bride's veil was pinned on so much that trying to take it out would have ruined her hair. But if that hadn't stopped her she would have taken it off for the reception.

2. We had a platter of little croissant sandwiches, fruit, champagne, water, and a few Luna bars just in case. Perfectly sized portions.

3. If the dog isn't well-behaved (and it sounds like it), I think it's perfectly ok to ask them to arrange for the dog to be elsewhere during the ceremony. During the reception (after speeches and first dances), depending on how big your wedding is, it may be ok to have the dog out because there will be so much else going on that you won't notice it. But personally, I'd make it known that the dog is not welcome. And I think you have a legitimate reason since it tried to bite your FI.

Jen4948 · August 2013

The PPs have good suggestions re 1 and 2, so

3. I think you can say, "Relatives, just to let you know, it isn't possible for us to accommodate your dog at the wedding, so this is a heads-up that we need you to arrange for it not to be there." Don't go into further details.

Simply Fated · August 2013

Is there anyone that works at the venue that can back you up on the No Dog thing? I know they allow dogs, usually, but can there be a no dog rule for your party?
Then, you can call them and warn them that no dogs are allowed.
And, honestly, I'd have Fi call his brother and make a pre-emptive strike. I mean, what if a guest is allergic? And leaving a dog in a car in AUGUST would be cruel of them.

ETA
As for the veil, a cathedral veil might get annoying after awhile. Maybe wear it for the entrance, but ditch it before dinner?

You'll be getting ready during lunch, so you'll need to keep up your strength. Maybe put out a spread of bagels with toppings? A fruit salad and somd veggies, too? Or just order some pizzas or room service and call it a day lol.

fre3doms · August 2013

A tray of sandwiches and maybe some fruit sounds like a great idea. The one wedding I was in we did something very similar. And us girls just grabbed some as we wanted.

Make sure you ladies eat something. Don't want anyone passing out.

phira · August 2013

Chiming in about #3: It doesn't matter if the venue allows dogs. Your event doesn't have to allow them. It doesn't sound like you're letting other guests bring their dogs, so just tell your future brother-in-law and his wife that it's not okay to bring the dog.

Have your fiance call his brother and say, "I know this is awkward, but I because you and [wife] brought [dog] to [other brother]'s wedding, I wanted to talk to you about the situation. We are not allowing any pets at our wedding, so you will have to leave [dog] at home. I hope this isn't an issue."

libby2483 · August 2013

1. I wore my veil for the ceremony and photos, but I took it off right before dinner.

2. I provided a sandwich and fruit platter while my BMs and I got ready in the hotel room.

3. Politely tell these people to leave their dog at home.

audreyecu61 · August 2013

My sister wore her veil for ceremony and pictures and took it off for dinner.
Sandiwich tray worked best, was easy to eat and not messy

I could rant all day about people who bring their dogs to inappropriate venues/places/etc. To a wedding? Especially a yappy dog, that has tried to bite your FI, absolutely not.

I agree with what Jen4948 suggested you say. Hold your line on this one.

Have a wonderful wedding!

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

The wedding is no place for a dog!!

Not even this one:

Simply Fated · August 2013

What about this one?

lovesclimbing · August 2013

1. 1. I would take it off for the reception especially since it's cathedral length. I would get at least a couple pictures with it, though. I didn't wear a veil but if I did, I definitely would have gotten pics with it on.

2. Definitely have enough food for a full meal. I had a very similar timeline 9 - 2 getting ready and pics with the ceremony at 2. We had trays of those deli sandwiches and roll ups and fruit. We were all starving by noon-1ish. Something not messy and easy to eat over a napkin while standing up is good. (That's what I ended up doing because we were in the midst of pictures.) I recommend just buying a tray of sandwiches or something.

3. PPs have pretty good suggestions already. I definitely think it's fine to say they can't have it at the wedding and recommend talking to the venue to back you up as someone suggested.

Sorry about the funky formatting.

cmmurphy89 · August 2013

As an animal lover, I have a problem with someone who loves there dog so much they would take everywhere but then has no problem leaving it in the car!!!

I just had to throw that in there.

phira · August 2013

cmmurphy89 said:

As an animal lover, I have a problem with someone who loves there dog so much they would take everywhere but then has no problem leaving it in the car!!!

I just had to throw that in there.

Oh wow, I totally missed that. I mean, I figured that these folks have some issues, both with general boundaries (bringing their dog to events without asking) and with being pet owners (seriously, there's something wrong if you can't be apart from your dog), but that's a HUGE no no no right there.

linnyv27 · August 2013

Thank you for the ideas everyone! I didn't know if it would be odd to wear my veil before the ceremony for photos (especially because it's long) but it is beautiful, so I'll get some photos with it. But I plan on taking it off after the ceremony as it will just get in the way. Looking at photography blogs for inspiration is a great idea - I'll definitely do that.

Sounds like a sandwich and fruit platter is the way to go. I just checked out Subway's website and I can place an order online - very convenient!

I didn't realize it would be okay to give them a call about the dog...that would be a big relief. Although I wouldn't be surprised if they still bring her because they can be pretty inconsiderate. I'll pass on the wording posted here and have FI make the call tomorrow.

@cmmurphy89 @phira I don't think it's even that they love the dog that much. Dogs are not permitted where they live and they probably take her everywhere just so she's not home making noise. They told us they only got the dog to "distract" and occupy their 5 year old daughter...but their parenting is an entirely different story. We feel bad for the dog, which is why we told them not to put her in the car when they visit. Sigh.

I love the idea of having our venue back us up and putting some of the blame on them. I'll give our venue coordinator a call in the morning.

edit - spelling

OliveOilsMom · August 2013

linnyv27 said:

We're getting married this Sunday (yay!) and these questions have popped into my mind while planning all the details of the day.

1. Veil - Did you wear your veil just for the ceremony? Or did you wear it for pictures and/or the first dance? We're having a first look and I planned on only wearing the cathedral veil for the ceremony, but now I'm thinking it might be nice to have it on for some photos. Then again the first look will be in a park, not sure how dirty the veil can/would get.

2. Getting ready with the girls - what kind of food did you provide? I will be getting ready at a hotel from 10am-2pm and most of my bridesmaids have already said they would like to join me. Should I provide full meals or just snacks? And what would you recommend? I feel silly asking this question but I want to provide enough food for them.

3. One of my FBILs and his wife might bring their chihuahua. We don't talk to them much because the wife has caused a lot of drama with FI's family so everyone keeps their distance, but the two times we invited them over during the holidays they brought their dog. It's a really annoying dog, as she yaps none stop. They tried putting her in the car while visiting but we felt really bad for her - so we put up with the yapping in the house the two times they were here. We even had to put our husky in our bedroom because she kept trying to bite and scratch him. In May, my other FBIL got married out of town and rented a beach house for the wedding - and they brought the dog. Without even asking if it was okay, knowing the house was rented. The dog even tried biting my FI. So there's a very good chance they will bring her to our wedding.

We are getting married outdoors and the venue is okay with dogs, but we would definitely not want a dog that barks none stop at everything she sees moving. Plus, she'll probably make other guests uncomfortable. I know it would be rude to call them and say hey, don't bring your damn dog. So what can we do, if anything?

1. I only wore my veil for the ceremony. Once we arrived at the reception venue, I removed it. If you want some pictures, asks one of your BM to watch over it to bring it to the first look (assuming you will be having some WP pictures done as well). You can have some pictures with it and some without that way.

2. I provided bagels, cookies, soda/juices for breakfast and then had a tray of chik fil a was brought for lunch. We didn't leave the house until 4:30, so I wanted to have more options. I would provide something hardy, that they can fill up on if they want. But also, something that would make it easier for snaking. My H had hoagies for their lunch. So really anything would work for your timeframe.

3. I would speak with my venue, even though they said pets are ok. I would just ask them to enforce a rule with no dogs for the evening (obviously, unless there is a service dog!). I would also have FI call and just say that the venue has a no animals policy, just so that they know ahead of time. And hopefully they will leave the dog at home. I love dogs, but I also know when/where its appropriate to bring them. A wedding is not a place for a dog, unless its a service dog.

Swazzle · August 2013

1) I wore my veil for our first-look, the ceremony, and for photos after that. I took it off when I bustled my dress, before I went into cocktail hour.

2) I provided bagels with cream cheese for breakfast and then had trays of fruit and finger sandwiches (ham, turkey, etc) for lunch.

3) I would absolutely call and tell them that their dog is not invited to the wedding.

Abbyjensen · August 2013

3. I would tell the venue that you absolutely do not want dogs there. If I did call, I would "blame" it on the venue. I wouldn't do this because I'm trying to be passive aggressive or sneaky, but I can see them thinking, "Oh, FI doesn't want our dog, but I'm sure it won't be a problem, we'll just bring her anyways..." But if the venue doesn't allow dogs, they would have to leave the dog alone in the car, which could be dangerous. Hopefully they are reasonable enough not to bring the dog.

PrettyGirlLost · August 2013

1. You can ask your seamstress at the bridal salon to bustle your veil for you. That way you can wear it down and long during the ceremony and any pictures you want, then at the reception you can "bustle" it up (they use small clips) as you would a dress and still have it on for 1st dance, cake cutting, etc. if you would like.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

I had my veil on for a good portion of the day, but then again I had a finger length veil. This is where BM come in handy. They can help carry your dress and veil for you to get into position for the first look and for pictures. You will want some pictures with your veil on. My hair dresser put mine in for me to make sure it stayed which was great because it stayed put, even with all the tugs it got from all the hugs I got during our receiving line.

For food, I went and got mini sandwich trays for my girls.What was nice is they were smaller then normal sandwiches so easier to eat while getting ready. Just a napking and good to go. I also had another tray on our limo bus to help offset the drinking I knew would take place. We also had pop/water and some adult beverages

In regards to the dog, I would have FI tell family with all the wedding stuff going on it would be too much for you to have their dog at your house and that you're concerned about guests who may have dog allergies so if they could leave the dog at home with a pet sitter or board the dog, it would be appreciated.

Questions: Veil, getting ready, and guest bringing dog

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