Wedding Reception Forum

Family Dilemma

My aunt and I had a falling out about a year ago.  She has stopped talking to me simply because we had a difference of opinion about a cat of all things.  She also has repeatedly told my mother and her cousin (her daughter) that she does not like my fiancé who she had avoided at all family functions and never made an effort to get to know.  I invited her to my son’s birthday party, she attended and only spoke to me when I asked her a direct question.  I feel she is being childish and that all of this comes from her feeling “not needed” because she use to watch my son after school but now my fiancé  takes care of him.  I had decided after the birthday party that I was not going to invite my aunt to my wedding (we are having a small, casual affair) and my mother supported my decision.  However, now my cousin (maid of honor) is moving back in with her mother and I don’t want her to get caught in the middle.  Should I bite the bullet and invite my aunt knowing she will either pout or make an butt of herself just to keep her wrath off of my cousin?   

Re: Family Dilemma

  • I think you have to consider how bad it would really be to have your aunt at this wedding versus the position your cousin might be in. Is this really so bad of a situation that you can't tolerate your aunt attending what might be a half-day long affair at most?

    Also, is every other aunt and uncle invited? If so, you might get some questions and/or looks about her absence from a big event (especially if only 25 people are coming).

    I'm not advocating either way, but I urge you to think this all the way through and perhaps consult your cousin regarding your plans.
  • Will your cousin need transportation from her mother to your wedding?

    I can understand why you don't want to invite your aunt, but if your want your cousin as MOH, make sure that her attendance is not dependent on her mother's being invited.

    If your aunt is invited and does make a butt of herself, have someone available to take her aside and tell her to stop and even have her escorted out if necessary, but also make sure that your cousin isn't left stranded if she has to be escorted out.
  • I would invite her. Be the bigger person.
  • I agree with all of the above. I know this type of person (who just thrives on drama) and it seems like the more reasons you give them to be angry, the more ridiculous they become. Yes, she is being immature and you are perfectly within your rights to be annoyed (I sure would be!). But you obviously care about your cousin and know this could start drama for her. If she starts drama at your wedding, she will look like an idiot!

    The best way to handle this type is to kill them with kindness but do not give into their demands. And honestly, when she starts up, everyone else will see that you have been nothing but nice to her and call her on it. It is tough, but just try to take the high road.
  • This is a tough one! I would invite her but only if you aren't going to be uncomfortable the entire time. If you are then I say forget it. But family is family and she will be in your life forever. Good luck!

     

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  • Can you comfortably talk to your cousin about it?  It def depends on her personality and your relationship, but if you can ask her how she feels (and she would be honest), it might help.

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