Dear Prudence,
I'm turning 30 this fall, and I have an incredibly wonderful boyfriend
of seven years. The only problem is that at 31 he has never had a
full-time job. He still lives at home. He earned a degree with honors
from a prestigious university, so intellect is not the problem. I moved
far away from home after graduating college and have been taking care of
myself since. In the last decade I’ve established a good career and am
earning over six figures. (I live in one of the most expensive areas in
the country, so I would need two incomes to support a family.) I've
given him an ultimatum that if he doesn't get a full-time job by the end
of September, we are breaking up. But in reality I don't know if I can
do it. I’m terrified of going back in the dating pool, and I also can't
imagine another person so perfect for me. He wants to get married now
and is ready to have kids yesterday, and I can see what a great father
he’d be. But while he hasn't saved a penny I have amassed a little over
$200,000. Should I call it quits, or just accept that I have no control
over his earnings and marry for love alone, and possibly be the sole
breadwinner?