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child birthday parties and a question

hmonkeyhmonkey member
Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes
baby mo is turning three in october. dh and i are discussing party plans (if any). neither of our parents will be able to make it, so if it's just family, it will be us, my brother and sister (maybe) and ysil and sbil (maybe).

we had discussed inviting some of his friends from daycare, but we don't know if having a party for four kids and their parents is worth it. we do not see these people socially (yet); the kids are just baby mo's favorites from daycare. what if they can't come or what if it's just the one kid? won't it be crazy awkward?

another option is to invite all the kids from his class and just host it as an open house, letting the families come and go as they please. the upside is that it could be a lot of fun and could introduce everyone to each other outside of saying "hi" as we do pick ups and drop offs. the downside is that it would be expensive and exhausting.

QUESTION
what age did you start inviting your kid's friends to their birthday party?
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Re: child birthday parties and a question

  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    The kiddo didn't have friend parties until he was in kindergarten.  Up until then, it was family only. 

    Why not scrap a party and take BoyMo out for a fun day at a museum/bounce place/chuck-e-cheese/etc.?
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  • WzzWzz member
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    we went to a classmate birthday party this summer, and it was a *little* awkward, but i was running around chasing a toddler at a pool so i barely had time to socialize. he had a great time, and i was glad we went.

     

    we don't have the luxury of a pool party or a party outdoors for a birthday, so this is going to give us a challenge in the future. i don't plan to invite classmates any time soon. we have enough kids in the immediate family to keep him occupied anyway. cupcakes to the class with goody bags? that i will do every year. cheap and everyone gets to participate (expect the weird JW kid who has to go sit in the hall for religious reasons).

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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    Three.  What the what.

    I'm with MrsConn on this one.  The first birthday party I can even remember is sometime in the 3rd or 4th grade. Just do something simple with family or take him out with just you guys.  Unless you actually want to get to know the parents from daycare.

    �
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  • PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
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    we invited my mom group and their kids for Wolverine's 1st and 2nd birthdays. We had pool parties at our house for both. She's been invited to a lot of 3rd birthdays for daycare classmates, but all of them have been at a local gym/chuck e cheese. We decided that we're not going to do a party at home if we invite all of the daycare kids - so we're going to look into a local gym/monkey joe's/chuck-e-cheese. expense may end up being more, but it would be less of a hassle. 

    her party has been her gift from us for the past 2 years, and if she wants to continue parties as she gets older, that will be her gift. my mom had that rule for us, and i think the last party she threw for me was 4th birthday.
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  • tawillerstawillers member
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    Back in the day, MIL did daycare, so Son always had friends and invited them to his parties.  DD1 just started preschool, so we haven't invited non-family friends (outside of mine and DH's friends and their kids).

    I think inviting the whole class as an open house is a fun idea.  However, it's got to be the right setting.  I wouldn't want people to think they could just drop their kid at my house for a couple hours.  I would hope that parents of 3yos wouldn't do that, but you never know.

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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
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    tawillers said:

    I think inviting the whole class as an open house is a fun idea.  However, it's got to be the right setting.  I wouldn't want people to think they could just drop their kid at my house for a couple hours.  I would hope that parents of 3yos wouldn't do that, but you never know.

    YES. i keep thinking of heffa and that eight-hour "play date."
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  • WzzWzz member
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    when we got the classmate invite, they specifically added a note that they expected the parents to stay with their child, and i thought that was completely reasonable and necessary.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
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    Still haven't. Bacon's birthday has always been during spring break, and she's never asked for a party or even to have a friend over. She's 9. 


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  • 6fsn6fsn member
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    Obviously we don't have the daycare thing but I'm avoiding classmates until I have to invite them.  6let was invited to one preschool party at a soccer place.  The kid was new to town and had no family. 

    I would consider just doing something special instead UNLESS he wants the party.

    @PirateBarbie you don't get her anything?  That seems kind of sad.

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  • pegasuskatpegasuskat member
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    My kids had parties every year, always.  Now their grown and we still do a cookout or eating out, and its never counted as their gift, that's always been seperate.  I always made birthdays a big deal and my kids are for their kids too! 

     

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  • PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
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    @6fsn - she's ridiculously spoiled already - and really at 1 or 2, does the kid even notice/track who each gift is from? 
    we also get her plenty of other stuff at random throughout the year - shelling out big bucks for a party *is* a gift. i should revise - we did buy her a little kid-sized recliner for her first birthday. I don't know if we bothered with a token gift for the second. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    If you invite his classmates, then you can show off your awesome baking and decorating skills to more people.
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  • ChiGirl2013ChiGirl2013 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited August 2013
    We just started inviting friends when she turned 5.  I hate to say it, but things are WAY different than they were when we were kids, at least they are here.  By the age of 5, all the mommies had been going to each others' parties since the kids were in diapers.  They all knew each other.  They were all buddy-buddy.  Their kids were all buddy-buddy.  Dd and I?  We are on the outside looking in because I never thought to do any of that at such a young age.  Yes, the moms will say hi and once in a while graciously allow me to butt in on their conversation for a second or two, but for the most part, dd and I are ignored because we haven't been playing "the game" for the past 5 years.

    I guess you have to decide if you want to be part of the "in crowd" or not.  If you do, you probably need to start with the birthday parties and play dates and all that stuff now, even at the age of 3.  If you don't care whether your child grows up with a bunch of friends or being accepted among "THE" moms, then don't have one.  At least that's how it is around here.  I'm so shocked at how clique-ish moms, and even kids, are at such a young age.  Seriously blows my mind.
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    whenever someone says "i'm on the outside, looking in", i immediately think of this book.

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    image
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  • ChiGirl2013ChiGirl2013 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited August 2013
    Never read that one.  Is there another phrase you prefer that doesn't remind you of your childhood?
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    ... childhood?  i re-read that like two weeks ago. 

    AND IT WAS AWESOME.
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
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    btw, i can not possibly imagine why the other moms don't want you to play their reindeer games. you seem really, really nice.
    image
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    hmonkey said:
    btw, i can not possibly imagine why the other moms  mommies don't want you to play their reindeer games. you seem really, really nice.
    Fixed it.  ;)

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