Wedding Etiquette Forum

Outdoor Ceremony and Shoes

We are having an outdoor ceremony, and it is all grass, except for the aisle. Our invitations explicitly say "____ Garden" so my guests are aware of the outdoor ceremony. The couple who own/run the garden said a lot of folks show up with heels and are disappointed because they realize it's NOT paved. 

In this case, would it be acceptable to make a note on the website? I know it is frowned upon to make suggestions as to what people should wear, but when we attended a wedding there 3 years ago, we had a friend twist her ankle because she wore heels and thought it would be "no big deal." 

Thanks :)
imageWedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Outdoor Ceremony and Shoes

  • You can make a note on the website that the ceremony is outside on the grass. Don't mention any suggestions for footwear, though.
    image
  • I think the issue to avoid is telling guests what to wear (or not to wear), but providing information on the website that would make them more comfortable isn't a bad thing. I'd also make sure your older guests hear by word of mouth - they might be less likely to check your website, and more likely to need to take precautions to get around safely.
    Follow Me (and my wedding!) on Pinterest
    50 in 2012 Reading Challenge: 2 books read
    my read shelf:

    Katie Rizzo's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We also have a golf cart that the site offers to rent. There is a small hill (very small but for older guests that could equal a big challenge) so I wanted it to be safe for them to access. 

    I thought about just emphasizing the fact that it's outside, BUT again I think a lot of people (judging based off the wedding we went to previously) assume there is some type of paving. It's all grass for the guests. Not optimal, but for MN grass in October the ground should hopefully be fairly hard. Not hard enough for heels, but not mushy. 

    And we are spreading by word of mouth too :) Most of our guests, even the older ones, use the internet. But I'd hate for someone to show up unprepared. Or someone to get hurt :(
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • I'd mention that the wedding is outside and what type of ground it's taking place on, but I wouldn't mention anything about shoes.  Let everyone figure that out themselves.

    But, you could put out a basket of flats or something that people could replace their heels with if they arrive unprepared.
  • You can make a note on the website that the ceremony is outside on the grass. Don't mention any suggestions for footwear, though.
    This.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • What does outside on the grass specifically mean? I've been to one where the aisle had pavers and it wasn't a big deal that the chairs were on grass. You didn't have to stand on the grass for very long so heels weren't really an issue.

    But I also went to a wedding a few weeks ago where the ceremony was out in the woods and guests had to stand for most of the ceremony, there were no pavers. And the reception was in the backyard. Any guests that didn't wear wedges had a rough time. 
    Anniversary
  • I would mention something like "the walk to and from the ceremony site will be mainly on grass".

    I bought a pair of new shoes for a wedding a few years ago, AFTER asking the groom if we would be walking on grass. He said "No, I don't think so. There should be something sturdy to walk on". Well he tricked me apparently. I could either walk a 3/4 of a mile on the grass or on a pile of wood chips. The heels on my shoes were ruined after that walk.

    image 
  • I would definitely note the type of ground on your website. As a guest, I'd certainly want to know this in advance. My girlfriend's ceremony was in a grass field, and I appreciated her details on her site cautioning guests and encouraging us to wear flats or something without heels. I'm not bothered by a suggestion to wear flats. It's not as if she said "Wear flats or don't come!"
    image
  • Can you put anything on the ground itself that could provide some protection for shoes?
  • vk2204 said:

    I would mention something like "the walk to and from the ceremony site will be mainly on grass".

    I bought a pair of new shoes for a wedding a few years ago, AFTER asking the groom if we would be walking on grass. He said "No, I don't think so. There should be something sturdy to walk on". Well he tricked me apparently. I could either walk a 3/4 of a mile on the grass or on a pile of wood chips. The heels on my shoes were ruined after that walk.

    Exactly that. "Grass" is more specific than "outside," so people won't assume that "outside" might be paved.

    As previous posters have said, you can give people information without telling them how to dress. Telling people that the ceremony is outside on grass isn't telling people, "Don't wear heels." But a reasonable person will know that if they wear heels, they'll sink into the grass.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • Thank you for all the suggestions. Currently our site says "the ceremony location is mainly grass and the location recommends shoes that aren't heels". I will adjust that so it just emphasizes the grassy area.

    While people will be sitting the majority of time, they still have to walk down and across a grassy hill/yard. We do not have the option to put anything down, but I hope people utilize the golf cart if they feel uncomfortable walking.
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • A friend's wedding was recently outdoors, in July in DC. Virtually all of the guests were from out of town, so they had a few sentences in the website regarding the weather, etc. Here are a couple snippets. I feel like you could do something similar regarding the grass...

    "DC in July is lively and fun, but also hot and humid. The ceremony and cocktail reception are outside. We will be on a small mountain, so it will be cooler than in the city, but the sun will not set until after 8:30pm. We will make sure you are hydrated. "

  • @EmilyTork, how long is your ceremony? Minnesota is quite cool in October.
  • I wouldn't tell them how to dress or even mention shoes. If just emphasize that it is not paved. I don't think people always get the hint with just grass being mentioned as they might think there's a trail.
  • either way is fine, i'm going to a wedding next weekend in california and the bride sent an email around just letting us know that sandals are hte best bet. I appreciated it bc i have no idea what the place is like and frankly wouldn't have thought to look at their website. I'm not offended if someone sends me a helpful suggestion, it's clearly for my benefit and not hers.
  • either way is fine, i'm going to a wedding next weekend in california and the bride sent an email around just letting us know that sandals are hte best bet. I appreciated it bc i have no idea what the place is like and frankly wouldn't have thought to look at their website. I'm not offended if someone sends me a helpful suggestion, it's clearly for my benefit and not hers.
    I agree. I just don't see why someone would be offended by someone saying "heeled shoes are not recommended." It's not telling guests what to wear, it's a suggestion on how guests could be more comfortable.
  • Don't tell them what to wear, but be as specific as you can saying that it's not paved/trailed that they will be walking on grass so that they are aware of it.
  • I see why it would be wrong to let people know what the conditions of the surrounding are on the website. This way people can dress accordingly. Things like if people are going to have to walk a distance, as a guest that is something I would like to know because it will make a difference if I wear my cute heels that I can walk short distances in or if I wear more comfortble shoes. Knowing in advance will help keeps guests happy. You will always have someone who decided to go with fashion over comfort or saftey.

    I would rent the golf cart if you can afford it, this way any older guests, or even younger guests with health issues can get to the location with ease. If you don't want it to seem like it's there for every guest to use, make a handicap sign for it.  :)

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards