No assigned seating but venue wants escort cards

[Deleted User] · August 2013

Hey ladies. I am running into a bit of a fix, here. I despise weddings with assigned seating, and so does FI, so we are going to let our guests sit wherever they please with the exception of three reserved tables for the wedding party. We will be sitting at a sweetheart table. Here is the problem: Since we are doing a plated dinner, our venue strongly encouraged (read: tried to force) us to do assigned seating to help them with the food options. I thought instead of that, I would do escort cards for each guest with a colored sticker for their chosen meal that they could hand to their server. Does this sound too confusing? We have to come to some sort of happy medium here. I thought I would put an explanation on the table with the escort cards so my guests know what to do and put it all out during cocktail hour.

Thanks for any suggestions in advance!

Simply Fated · August 2013

TK is the first place I saw that venues use escort cards for the meal options.
I usually take the escort card and pop it into my bag. Some people don't even bother taking them. I wonder what venues do when these things happen. I would ask your venue what they do. Maybe they have suggestions for you.

Would you be willing to do assigned tables, instead of assigned seats? Then you can give them the food totals of each table. Would that work?

SP29 · August 2013

We are doing escort cards with the meal option at our reception- for the same reason.

The venue requested it, as we have meal options, to ensure people get the meal they asked for and the venue doesn't end up looking unprofessional if a bunch of people choose chicken when some were supposed to get beef and then there is not enough chicken.

We are also doing assigned tables, but not seats. The escort card will also include the table number.

silver0319 · August 2013

I like the idea that you have, but you'll definitely need some sort of explanation for the guests. An escort card with the name and food stamp but no table number is a great idea, but could potentially be confusing.

Jen4948 · August 2013

I'd assign tables so guests don't have to walk around looking for seats. It does also make it easier to use escort cards, because the venue will know that Ms. Jane Doe who ordered the chicken is sitting at Table 12.

Having to use a color chart, or cutesy table names, or whatever makes the tables harder for both guests and servers to find. I'd want to make it as simple as possible.

MobKaz · August 2013

We made a spread sheet to simplify this for our ourselves and the venue. The spread sheet indicated guest name, meal choice, and table number.

Your RSVP cards ask guests to indicate a meal choice.

As cards come in, check off their meal choice.

Once all RSVP cards are received, you can give information to the venue. Tally up the number of chicken, beef, vegetarian, fish, or children's meals. Indicate how many gluten free or other dietary restrictive meals you will need. This is the head count your venue will need a few weeks prior to the wedding.

Now you can create your tables. I used small Post-It notes in three different colors. Each color indicated friend, family of bride, or family of groom. Each note had one name and their meal choice. I arranged paper plates in the way tables would be arranged at the venue. This made it easy for me to see exactly where everyone would be seated. I could make sure the grandparents were sitting no where near the DJ and his amplifiers. I could make sure friends tables were near each other. If changes needed to be made, it was easy to simply lift a note off one plate and place it on another. Assign numbers to the tables.

Once those decisions had been made, I could now update the information for the venue. I could tell them exactly how many of each meal would be at which table. This MAY be all your venue will require. If Aunt Mary and Uncle Rich accidentally get each others entree, it is not a big deal for them to quietly switch among themselves. The goal for the venue staff is to be as discreet and non interruptive to guests as possible.

For the escort cards, you can add a colored ribbon or faux gem to the cards to indicate meal choice. But then you also have to give that color chart to the waitstaff. We decided simple was best. We wrote either V, B, C, or K (kid) in the upper right hand corner of the escort card. We then placed a framed sign next to the escort cards with a brief and clear statement. "Please take your escort card to your table as it indicates your meal choice."

It seems like an involved process, but it actually worked very well. As a personal aside, I think assigned tables creates much less hassle for the guests.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

Thanks for the feedback. I will definitely include an explanation so people aren't confused, and I'll set out the cards in aphabetical order to make it easy for my guests to find them. Mbokaz, I like your idea of adding a colored gem to the escort card to indicate meal choice. I may end up doing that. My coordinator will be happy as long as the servers can get a count for meals for their tables. I am only doing steak, chicken, and vegetarian (gluten free) for the adults and a kids' meal for the kiddos. So far I only have one vegetarian meal out of 94 responses.

I appreciate y'alls suggestions of doing assigned tables, but I am not even going to go there. I was at an out of town wedding recently where the bride (my friend) assigned our group of five friends to different tables. It was okay, but I didn't travel out of town to make new friends and be forced to sit with people I have never met and will never see again. I'd just as soon let people choose a table in the room that they are comfortable with. Also, if they happen to make friends with someone before the ceremony or during the cocktail hour, they can then sit with them for the meal. I will probably do a kids' table for the older kids in a corner somewhere that has activities with which they can keep busy.

LDubHawksFan · August 2013

We did escort cards with stamps for the meal choices. Even with that, our venue made us verify the number of each meal choice at each table, I assume so their severs wouldn't awkwardly be balancing trays while trying to look for the cards. I would just verify that your venue won't require this too. Ours sprung it in my about 2 wks out, which wasn't a problem since I had finalized our assigned tables, but as a frazzled bride, I was pissed.

MobKaz · August 2013

ammcadams said:

Thanks for the feedback. I will definitely include an explanation so people aren't confused, and I'll set out the cards in aphabetical order to make it easy for my guests to find them. Mbokaz, I like your idea of adding a colored gem to the escort card to indicate meal choice. I may end up doing that. My coordinator will be happy as long as the servers can get a count for meals for their tables. I am only doing steak, chicken, and vegetarian (gluten free) for the adults and a kids' meal for the kiddos. So far I only have one vegetarian meal out of 94 responses.

I appreciate y'alls suggestions of doing assigned tables, but I am not even going to go there. I was at an out of town wedding recently where the bride (my friend) assigned our group of five friends to different tables. It was okay, but I didn't travel out of town to make new friends and be forced to sit with people I have never met and will never see again. I'd just as soon let people choose a table in the room that they are comfortable with. Also, if they happen to make friends with someone before the ceremony or during the cocktail hour, they can then sit with them for the meal. I will probably do a kids' table for the older kids in a corner somewhere that has activities with which they can keep busy.

ammcadams, I absolutely understand your rationale in not wanting to assign adults to tables. However, even adults will behave in an immature manner or with a pack mentality on occasion. I would encourage you to have an extra table or two set up for this reason. Let's say your tables are set for groups of 10. Many tables have filled with groups of 6 or 8 people. I enter the reception with my group of 6 and do not wish to "break up" as fillers for the other tables. We will want to look for another table. If you are really not assigning tables for the comfort of your guests, then an additional table or two will help to assure this.

Viczaesar · August 2013

Are you going to have extra tables then? And what do you mean by "in the room that they are comfortable with"?

MobKaz · August 2013

Viczaesar said: Are you going to have extra tables then? And what do you mean by "in the room that they are comfortable with"?
I think it was just poor syntax. I read that to mean, "I would just as soon have people choose to sit with people whom they are comfortable with in the room."

[Deleted User] · August 2013

I think we will be able to do an extra table or two. And yes, Mobkaz, you almost have the meaning of that sentence right. It is difficult to understand sentences sometimes without hearing the speaker's prosody to give us a clue. I meant that I would rather have people choose a table in the room in a location with which they are comfortable; i.e. away from the dance floor, close to the bar, near the kids' table, etc.

No assigned seating but venue wants escort cards

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