People RSVPing yes, but only after dinner?

Re: People RSVPing yes, but only after dinner?

• elizabetheleven member

  

  August 2013

  I would include them in the count to be safe. If they do show up midway through dinner you'd want to be prepared.

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• amalama member

  

  August 2013

  alisonmarie658 said:

  That's an interesting predicament. I would probably call these couples and ask them what time they expect to arrive, just in case, and figure out if they would actually be getting there during dinner or not (in case their estimation of dinner time is off). 

  The one on my fiance's side isn't sure, he wants to come after he gets off work and that is unpredictable but we're probably pretty safe to assume it will be later in the night (they work in a restaurant). The one on my side I told her the times for cocktail and dinner, and she said she just wasn't sure yet because she has a family thing in another city that the times aren't set for yet. I think I'll just count them and be done with it, it's probably not worth the hassle of trying to figure it out.

  
  
  

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• harper0813 member

  

  August 2013 edited August 2013

  We also have two guests who said not to put them down for dinner because they'll be attending dinner elsewhere.
  
  If they say that they will not eat dinner, there is no need to prepare one for them. Have escort cards, chairs, bar service and cake available.

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• phira member

  

  August 2013

  I'd definitely make sure there are seats for them (avoid placing them at the same table, which would end up feeling super empty till they arrived).

  
  

  From what you're saying, it sounds like the person on your fiance's side likely will miss dinner entirely, and the person on your side has, like ... a 50% chance she'll end up arriving during dinner and a 50% chance she'll decide day-of that she can't make it.

  
  

  Many caterers prepare for a small number of extra heads. I'd talk with them and see if that's the case. If it is, then don't sweat it. If they don't, I'd see how much it would set you back to add in the "maybes." If it doesn't make you feel financially uncomfortable to pay for 4 extra meals that might not get eaten, go for it. If it stretches your budget, then confirm that the guests REALLY don't want you to put them down for a meal, and then take them at their word.

  
  To be a good host, you do need to make sure all your guests are fed (enough, good food, on time). But these folks have reassured you that they will miss dinner; if they show up while dinner is going on, and there's no meal for them (at their request!), I don't think you're a bad host.

  
  

  But if you could go above and beyond, in case they show up in time, you'd be an even better host.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• Abbyjensen member

  

  August 2013

  They probably are eating dinner elsewhere, which is why they requested no dinner. I would give them seats but not dinner. If I was a guest and just had dinner at a family event then showed up as dinner was ending at your event and got served a $80 plate, I would feel bad and try to stuff it down. But for the second one, find out for sure when she is intending on coming, and if she is still 50% at the time the count is due, order the plate anyways.

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• ElcaB member

  

  August 2013

  That's awkward. I wouldn't add them to the catering count if they're sure they won't be there. I would, however, still save them a seat. 

  

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• LavenderHoneyBee member

  

  August 2013

  If they are telling you not to count them in for dinner, then you are safe to not include them in the count. Most likely they will all eat on their way over anyways. I just ask the caterers if you could include extra seats for these people (and maybe pay for the bar/cake) but not include a meal for them. And I would confirm with these guests "Thanks so much for giving us a heads up! I was able to tell the caterer to not worry about your dinner, but I have arranged for a seat to be saved for you when you do arrive."
  

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