Our 5 year old daughter at the reception?

prettybrown27 · August 2013

me and my BF plan to get married 11/2016. our 2 year old will be 5 by the time we are married and we want her to be our flower girl. do we allow her to be at the reception too, do we allow all kids at the reception?

NYCMercedes · August 2013

Of course you include your daughter! As far as other children, that's totally up to you.

KDM323 · August 2013

That's a long time from now...I'd wait and see what she is like closer to then. She may be happy and easy going and able to be awake later, etc or she may need to be asleep by 7pm in which case you may want a sitter to take her for the evening

WonderRed · August 2013

We're including 6.5 year old DS in the ceremony and cocktail hour but probably (I keep going back and forth on this) sending him his dad's house before dinner starts. We are not inviting other kids because of our budget and space so he'd be the only kid and I think he'll be bored to tears by the end of the night, which mean we cannot fully relax.

Can't tell you what will work best for your DD in three years though.

artbyallie · August 2013

Anyone of any age who is in or attends the ceremony must be invited to the reception.

iloveu4ever · August 2013

We probably have my son who will be 4.5 years old when we marry in June 2015 but don't know about other kids.

kmmssg · August 2013

DD is getting married next Summer and her kids will be 5 and 8. They are in the wedding and will attend the reception. I can't imagine leaving your child out of the reception.

One thing I will add is to think about the logistics. We are already all over that. DD is probably having a sweetheart table for the 4 of them for dinner. After that we will have a trusted sitter at the reception who will watch the children and hold them accountable for their behavior. They are good kids, but I think kids should ALWAYS be held accountable for their behavior, and especially in a setting like a reception.

I gently, and lovingly made it clear that Nana was not going to babysit the kids and that the other g'parents should be asked either. This is a special night for us too and I'm not babysitting. DD never had any intention of asking us anyway...

Plan for her care, hire a sitter to be there, and if this is an evening reception, decide when she needs to go home. My grandkids will be there for some dancing and then they will leave with the sitter.

STARMOON44 · August 2013

I just can't believe you're worried about this for 2016!!!!

clg1213 · August 2013

STARMOON44 said:

I just can't believe you're worried about this for 2016!!!!

She definitely has time. But, I think everyone has had the experience of getting something stuck in your head that you just can't get out without some form of resolution. It would be another ballgame if the OP was looking to hire a sitter or something, but I get wanting to give at least a temporary answer to that nagging voice in your head!

[Deleted User] · August 2013

I say include her, especially in the pictures. Great family photo ops. I were in your situation I would just see if family members, a friend, or maybe even a sitter for the day could help keep an eye on her while I was getting ready and then keep her entertained during the ceremony (after she walks down the isle) and then to help out at the reception. If you have any relatives who will be teenagers at the time, they could help out being a mother's assistant for the day. You don't want to spend your wedding day chasing after your daughter, feeding her dinner. Also having someone who might be willing to leave the reception early with her when it's time for her to go down might be a nice option to plan for.

Just because you have her there, doesn't mean you have to invite everyone elses kids. Decide on that when it gets closer and you see what your budget is like

prettybrown27 · August 2013

>>>I just can't believe you're worried about this for 2016!!!!

I asked a question, that YOU DID NOT have to answer. It doesnt matter if i was worried about this for 2016, 2017 or even 2020. Your taking this discussion too seriously. If you didnt have have an idea for me about what i asked you should have kept on scrolling past the discussion!

SP29 · August 2013

Yes, your daughter should be at the reception. Any other children invited is up to you.

But, I would suggest a sitter who can take her home so she can go to bed at a reasonable hour.

STARMOON44 · August 2013

I do have an idea of what you should do. You should stop worrying about this. You can't know three years in advance what will work for your daughter, because you don't know what she'll be like then. Get a grip. If you don't want strangers commenting on your life, don't post on a message board.

KatWAG · August 2013

I think it would be really weird to not invite your daugther. But then to have her be a flower girl and not invite her is much worse. Then she just becomes a prop.

I would start to think about this is 3 years.

KatWAG · August 2013

prettybrown27 said:

me and my BF plan to get married 11/2016. our 2 year old will be 5 by the time we are married and we want her to be our flower girl. do we allow her to be at the reception too, do we allow all kids at the reception?

Are you engaged yet? If not then you are wayyyyy ahead of yourself.

(can't get out of the quote box!)

GlassButton · August 2013

1. Do we allow her to be at the reception?

This is up to you. If you wish to be taking care of her or have someone available to care for her at the reception, then yes.

2. Do we allow all kids to the reception?

Again, it's up to you. If you wish for it to be an adults only event then no. However, all children in the bridal party should be treated equally. If they're in the ceremony and then only your daughter is at the reception, some may be bothered by it. I personally believe that if you use them for the ceremony then you should invite them to the reception.

Dreamergirl8812 · August 2013

prettybrown27 said:

>>>I just can't believe you're worried about this for 2016!!!!

I asked a question, that YOU DID NOT have to answer. It doesnt matter if i was worried about this for 2016, 2017 or even 2020. Your taking this discussion too seriously. If you didnt have have an idea for me about what i asked you should have kept on scrolling past the discussion!

thejucheidea · August 2013

KatWAG said:

prettybrown27 said:

me and my BF plan to get married 11/2016. our 2 year old will be 5 by the time we are married and we want her to be our flower girl. do we allow her to be at the reception too, do we allow all kids at the reception?

Are you engaged yet? If not then you are wayyyyy ahead of yourself.

(can't get out of the quote box!)

Nope, she's NEY. You should see her rant over on NEY -- it's pretty hilarious.

Our 5 year old daughter at the reception?

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