Kid lite wedding appropriate ??

painterlt · August 2013

Hello out there... My fiancé and I are planning a kid light wedding. I just want my three nephews and niece there My fiancé has no small kids in his immediate family. The problem is my cousins all have children, And when all the kids in my family get-together is chaos!! I'm not having any children in my bridal party but I just want to have my niece and nephews there.... The same goes for omitting guests children. But I have a feeling that this is going to cause Tension in my family. My Venue is classy and I do not want my wedding to turn into a circus of screaming children.. Help!!

Jen4948 · August 2013

Just leave the name of any kid who is not invited off the invitation to their parents. If the parents include the kid in their RSVP, call them and tell them, "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, but only the two of you were invited. We can't accommodate anyone else." And if they then indicate unwillingness to attend without their kids, you say, "I'm sorry to hear that-we'll miss you" but don't invite the kids.

Viczaesar · August 2013

painterlt said:

Hello out there... My fiancé and I are planning a kid light wedding. I just want my three nephews and niece there My fiancé has no small kids in his immediate family. The problem is my cousins all have children, And when all the kids in my family get-together is chaos!! I'm not having any children in my bridal party but I just want to have my niece and nephews there.... The same goes for omitting guests children. But I have a feeling that this is going to cause Tension in my family. My Venue is classy and I do not want my wedding to turn into a circus of screaming children.. Help!!

Just invite the people and children you want to invite. Address invitations to the people invited, and don't write anything like "no kids" on the invitations. It may indeed cause tension in your family; you will have to decide whether it's worthwhile to you.

misssunshine17 · August 2013

You do not have to invite other children. Inviting in clear circles makes it easy, which is what you're doing. Random cutoffs don't work since they are random. If people push back, don't make exceptions since then everyone will expect it.

prettyfacegal · August 2013

I would address the invitation as Mr. and Mrs. _______. I would also put on the invitation Adult wedding followed by an adult reception. Then this gives the people an opportunity to make the choice. Do not give in......they will be their in spirit.

WonderRed · August 2013

Do not put it on the invitations. It is considered poor form and rude. One way I have seen this addressed, in addition to only putting the names of those invited on the invite, is by also being specific on the RSVP card by wording them:

We have reserved ______ seats for ____________________.

Then fill in the number of people invited and their names.

Viczaesar · August 2013

prettyfacegal said:

I would address the invitation as Mr. and Mrs. _______. I would also put on the invitation Adult wedding followed by an adult reception. Then this gives the people an opportunity to make the choice. Do not give in......they will be their in spirit.

Don't do that! That's rude. Don't highlight who isn't invited on an invitation.

NYCMercedes · August 2013

@Prettyfacegal. Never put ADULT on invitations or websites. Follow the good advice from @misssunshine17 and @wonderred.

AprilH81 · August 2013

It is perfectly acceptable to only invite certain children as long as you have a clear line of "only bridal party kids" or "only nieces and nephews" etc. Just don't pick and chose randomly between friends and family (which it does not sound like you are doing) and you will be fine etiquette wise.

Good luck!

mysticl · August 2013

Viczaesar said:

prettyfacegal said:

I would address the invitation as Mr. and Mrs. _______. I would also put on the invitation Adult wedding followed by an adult reception. Then this gives the people an opportunity to make the choice. Do not give in......they will be their in spirit.

Don't do that! That's rude. Don't highlight who isn't invited on an invitation.

Also, it implies that no children are invited. So when guests get there and see some children it could cause even more tension.

crunchymamaof2 · August 2013

mysticl said:

Viczaesar said:

prettyfacegal said:

I would address the invitation as Mr. and Mrs. _______. I would also put on the invitation Adult wedding followed by an adult reception. Then this gives the people an opportunity to make the choice. Do not give in......they will be their in spirit.

Don't do that! That's rude. Don't highlight who isn't invited on an invitation.

Also, it implies that no children are invited. So when guests get there and see some children it could cause even more tension.

^ yup! I was going to say she'd be lying if she put that.

You can invite any children you want. We invited children we knew. That meant several of FH's work friends weren't invited with their children, only their SOs. Inviting in circles does make it easier to explain as a PP said, but it's not a rule. Everyone who said address the invites to the adults (or whoever is invited) gave you great advice.

prettyfacegal · September 2013

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.I went to a wedding a year ago...and the bride was facing the same delimma...many stated they were glad to know well in advance that it was an adult only party...so they would not be embarassed by being the only ones their with children. Hey..I threw my opinion in...ladies lets remember people here ask for advice and opinions... we share them as adults....if the guest understands the bride and groom....they know their personalities....and they can respectfully decline to attend. Just my thoughts!

Remember it is a special day for the both of you and should be the way that you want it.

artbyallie · September 2013

prettyfacegal said:

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.I went to a wedding a year ago...and the bride was facing the same delimma...many stated they were glad to know well in advance that it was an adult only party...so they would not be embarassed by being the only ones their with children. Hey..I threw my opinion in...ladies lets remember people here ask for advice and opinions... we share them as adults....if the guest understands the bride and groom....they know their personalities....and they can respectfully decline to attend. Just my thoughts!
Remember it is a special day for the both of you and should be the way that you want it.

Except that this is the etiquette board. Etiquette is not opinion, it is a standard of hospitable behavior, and your advice breaks it. Please do not give this type of advice on the etiquette board; it is incorrect and could confuse people who do want to offend their guests.

wrigleyville · September 2013

prettyfacegal said:

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.I went to a wedding a year ago...and the bride was facing the same delimma...many stated they were glad to know well in advance that it was an adult only party...so they would not be embarassed by being the only ones their with children. Hey..I threw my opinion in...ladies lets remember people here ask for advice and opinions... we share them as adults....if the guest understands the bride and groom....they know their personalities....and they can respectfully decline to attend. Just my thoughts!
Remember it is a special day for the both of you and should be the way that you want it.

They should have known it was adult-only when their kids weren't on the invitation. Anyone who gets a wedding invitation with their names only and then brings their kids is an idiot. Why do people need it spelled out in big, bold font?

Kid lite wedding appropriate ??

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