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Etiquette

Money vs gifts ratio

Disclaimer: I am in NO WAY planning on asking anyone for money instead of a gift. My fiance and I have registered at a couple stores that we plan to include on the website and/or by word of mouth if we're asked. 

This is just idle curiosity...too much time on my hands during my lunch break ;)

For those of you who are closer to your wedding and have already received some gifts (or those who are already married) what was the general "ratio" so-to-speak of physical gifts to cash gifts (not asking for the amount)? My fiance comes from a family that usually gives cash (their choice, to let the couple getting married to pick something at their discretion) and I think he thinks that a lot more people give money than gifts. For some reason, I think I would bet that more people would go off the registry than give money, but I could be completely wrong. Is this something that vastly differs from family to family and region to region?
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Re: Money vs gifts ratio

  • casey8784 said:
    Disclaimer: I am in NO WAY planning on asking anyone for money instead of a gift. My fiance and I have registered at a couple stores that we plan to include on the website and/or by word of mouth if we're asked. 

    This is just idle curiosity...too much time on my hands during my lunch break ;)

    For those of you who are closer to your wedding and have already received some gifts (or those who are already married) what was the general "ratio" so-to-speak of physical gifts to cash gifts (not asking for the amount)? My fiance comes from a family that usually gives cash (their choice, to let the couple getting married to pick something at their discretion) and I think he thinks that a lot more people give money than gifts. For some reason, I think I would bet that more people would go off the registry than give money, but I could be completely wrong. Is this something that vastly differs from family to family and region to region?


    Absolutely. In some regions, it's "rude" to not get a boxed gift for the couple. In some regions it is unheard of to not give cash at the wedding...the bridal shower is for boxed gifts.

    I live in one of the areas where it goes either way.

    From guests we got:

    65% Cash/check/gift card

    25% boxed gift

    10% got us nothing. I only know this because I used our guest list to check off when I sent a thank you note.

  • 30% Boxed gifts (half brought to wedding other half bought off registry mailed straight to MILs house)
    70% Cash/Check/GC.
    0% Nothing.


  • About 1/3 of our gifts were cash, 1/3 from registry and the last third givers' choice
  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We received 1 boxed gift before the wedding and none at the wedding. The rest of our guests gave us cash or a check in a card (I think we had about 5 guests give nothing). 

    I don't think I've ever seen boxed gifts at a wedding before. I live in NJ and I think cash/checks are more common here. 



  • I come from a family where cash is effectively the only gift.  Other than something small "to unwrap", I don't think I've received a gift other than cash since I was a small child - probably at least 20 years.  It's at the point where I'm tired of getting cash. 

    FI's family is completely the opposite -- they wouldn't dream of giving cash. 

    We're a month out from our wedding and have only received 1 gift to date, so I can't speak to ratios yet.
  • I would say about 30% boxed gift, 60% cash/check and 10% nothing. 
  • We got about 80% cash, 15% boxed (I think one or two at the actually wedding, most were sent to our apartment either before or after) and then a couple of guests didn't get us anything. We are from Central PA, we had a smallish registry and live in a tiny apartment, so most guests figured cash would fit in our cupboards. 
    image
    sarahsmiles326
  • Hmmm, we've gotten about 15 checks, and 70 presents. All in, we've gotten about $4,000.
  • 95% cash/checks/giftcards
    5% actual gifts
  • We have received $10 cash so far.

    No gift cards.

    50% of our registry has been purchased.

    Of the 30 declines invites, 3 of them have given gifts (so far).

    So we'll see! I just want that toaster oven we registered for. SO BADLY.

  • I think it also depends on how large your registry is.  If you have a relatively large registry, as a guest, I'd assume you wanted those things instead of cash.  My H and I had a very small registry because we didn't really need much, so we received mostly cash.  We did get a few items from our registry that were shipped directly to our house, but other than that, we mostly got cards with cash or gift cards.
  • Pepper - i think you're right. I thoguth our registry was smaller than it is - we truthfully could use the cash! but i guess one day I'll be glad I have china. I hope :)
  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We had a good-sized registry and I think probably more than half of the gifts were purchased but we received all of those at the shower, not at the wedding. Again, I think because of the area I am in, that's how things are done (boxed gifts at the shower, cash at the wedding).



  • Our wedding is a month and a half away, but here is what I have noticed so far...and I'm sure this will change. I am in northern NJ.

    Shower: Most of our registries were basically completed. There are some items on each registry that were unpurchased, but nothing that was left is anything we'd really "need" - it was more smaller, specialty items (a mocaljete, quesadilla grill basket, extra sheet set, photo frame - for example). We also registered at REI, and there are some big ticket camping items still left on that registry. I had 2 showers with 80 in attendance at one and 30 at the other.  At each, as mentioned, it was mostly boxed gifts, but I did also receive gift cards and checks. (2 gifts were off registry - which really surprised me since I often shop off-registry.)

    Wedding: We are starting to receive wedding gifts from both those who can attend, and those who cannot attend. It is currently 50% gifts and 50% cash. One of the boxed gifts received was not on the registry -  it is a beautiful piece of pottery from the gift giver's area. Really unique and pretty!

    As for the day of - don't know yet!   (And, FWIW, I have given both cash and boxed gifts to weddings I have attended.)
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    So far it's been about half and half.  Boxed gifts sent to our place and a check and gift card from people sending their regrets.  I've always taken a boxed gift to the actual wedding, but you see a lot of that around my region in my experience.

  • Pepper6 said:
    I think it also depends on how large your registry is.  If you have a relatively large registry, as a guest, I'd assume you wanted those things instead of cash.  My H and I had a very small registry because we didn't really need much, so we received mostly cash.  We did get a few items from our registry that were shipped directly to our house, but other than that, we mostly got cards with cash or gift cards.


    Not in my situation.

    We made a full large registry at 3 stores in various price ranges with no duplicates, as we could've used upgrades on pretty much everything.

    We only got about 25% boxed gifts at the wedding.

  • For the shower: 95% physical gifts, 5% cash/gift cards

    For the wedding: Out of about 90 total guests we got 3 physical gifts, 1 gift/money hybrid and all the rest cash.

    That's pretty on par with most weddings in my area.

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  • Most gave cash for sure. I had a couple of boxes gifts, most of it was our china.

    We had 4 people/families attend and give nothing.

  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I believe we received mostly cash and we had a smaller registry.  But DH's family lives in Chile, with the exception of his parents and siblings.  They sent us cash, since it was easier over gifts, so that's why we were cash high
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  • melb2013melb2013 member
    2500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    From my family friends we got probably 80% gifts 20% money.  We had a small registry and everything on it was bought and we got a few wonderfully personal gifts.  From husband's family and friends it was 100% money.  
    I only give money if I don't know the couple well- otherwise I try to buy a gift, even one off the registry, because I feel it's more personal. 

    Above was for the wedding only- I didn't have a shower.

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    melbelleup
  • We had no pre wedding parties, but at the wedding we got about 90% cash (it was a destination), 5% gifts, and 5% nothing (not even a card). 
  • We didn't register and are not having a shower so.....I'll tell you how that worked out for us in about 40 days.


    image image image

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
    simplykayla
  • Boxed gifts from registry: 45%
    Checks/gift cards: 30%
    Other (boxed gifts not on the registry - primarily things like homemade afghans, engraved picture frames, etc.): 15%
    None: 10%
    *Several guests gave both physical gifts and checks - some at the same time and others sent something off the registry early and then brought a check to the wedding

    Registry gifts were received roughly half in advance (mailed to our house up to 3 months before the wedding) and half at the wedding itself (so much fun trying to get them all home afterwards <-- sarcasm).

    I didn't have any showers, but even still our registries were well over half completed.
    image
  • audubonbride2013audubonbride2013 DC Area member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    We had 2 registries with about 200 items total.  Our wedding was in the Philly suburbs with guests coming from Philly, DC, and TX.  I had a shower with about 50 people and received boxed gifts and 2 gift cards.  For our wedding we had 18 people who couldn't attend send gifts.  Of the people that attended our wedding we had the following ratio:

    Cash/GC/Check: 43%
    Boxed Gift: 45%
    Nothing: 12%

  • I think it really depends on your crowd. Almost all of H's family/friends gave us money and probably more than half on my side gave us boxed gifts. We only received 4 boxed gifts at the wedding and the rest of the boxed gifts came in the mail or were given to us before or after the wedding.
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  • Definitely depends on your crowd. 

     

    My family shower:  100% boxed gifts
    H's family shower:  90% boxed gifts; 10% cash/gift cards
    delivered at home:  80% boxed, 20% cash (probably ~10 gifts)
    At the wedding:       95% cash, 5% boxed (~150 gifts)

    I definitely appreciated that I had fewer than 10 boxed gifts to try and get home that night.  I don't know if the fact that we had showers meant fewer boxed gifts at the wedding or if that would have been our ratio regardless.  We have always given cash at weddings and most of our friends/family seem to feel the same.

  • Despite having a destination wedding, we received a lot of cash gifts. I was really surprised because we weren't expecting anything at all. Our gifts were mostly cash, some gift cards, and few boxed gifts. 
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  • I'm not amrried yet, but every NY wedding I've been to is all the boxed gifts at the bridal shower and then all cash at the wedding itself...from my experience a lot of people actaully gave for both too, which would skew the results!
  • I live (and grew up) in Massachusetts, but have family and friends from all over (large groups in Kansas City, California, and NYC), but being one of the youngest cousins, I was young (14 and under) at all my cousins weddings, so I don't remember/notice the gifts/money. 

    My FI grew up on Long Island and most of his close family. I've been to a couple of his cousins' weddings (didn't attend the showers) and noticed that almost all the gifts at the wedding were cash. I've noticed it's definitely a NY thing to bring mostly cash to the actual wedding, but from all of the PP it seems it's pretty much nationwide for the most part. thanks all! :)
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  • We didn't register and are not having a shower so.....I'll tell you how that worked out for us in about 40 days.


    @MuppetOverlord - Ditto!

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