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40-Plus Brides

Combining Finances

This isn't a topic I have seen covered and thought it would be more appropriate on this Board because of the age we are getting married.  What are your thoughts on joint acounts. Do you combine everything or have a couples account and then your own individual accounts?  I'm sure it's different for everyone.

Re: Combining Finances

  • Hi there,
    I'll be 40 when I get married and this will be my first time. This will be my fiance's 2nd marriage. We've already discussed this, and we will be having one joint account for the bills and household expenses. Then, each of us will have a separate account for our "play" money to use ever how we want to. We do not combine finances now because we're not living together. We'll do this once we get married.
  • vexievexie member
    We married last year and have kept our finances completely separate. We've divided the bills and for the bigger items like property taxes, he pays and I just give him my half. It works out great for us.
    84image 73image 11image Wedding date: June 11, 2011 :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_combining-finances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:2b567b6e-34ae-4c94-98fb-4e741caac3afPost:b7cadb13-445b-4163-807e-34f0e0f4087a">Re: Combining Finances</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi there, I'll be 40 when I get married and this will be my first time. This will be my fiance's 2nd marriage. We've already discussed this, and we will be having one joint account for the bills and household expenses. Then, each of us will have a separate account for our "play" money to use ever how we want to. We do not combine finances now because we're not living together. We'll do this once we get married.
    Posted by daisymom0317[/QUOTE]

    THIS exactly. I'll be 39, FI will be 40 when we get married. My 1st marriage, his 2nd. We also are not living together and will combine finances when we do. This exact setup will work perfectly for us. Joint checking account for all of our household expenses, a joint savings for long term planning, emergency fund, and vacations, etc.  Then we each get to keep our own checking with our play money. We get to spend that however we'd like, but we do have a deal that we discuss anything over $250 just to keep the lines of communication open :)
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  • I agree with the joint + separate accounts.  Didn't do it that way the first time around (I was only 18) but at 45 with my own established finances, we put a designated amount into our joint account to cover mortgage and home expenses.  Our arrangement is also that he pays for anything when we eat out, I pay for weekly groceries (I also have a 21 YO at home, so this way there is no complaining about how much my son eats.), and he also covers cable.  My son pays utilities as his contribution of "rent."

    We even purchased our home with designated ownership percentages.  I previously owned my own home which provided our down payment.  He understands that my kids sacrificed along with me to own that home and, when the day comes, they will inherit my portion.

    I'm struggling with the decision of how to file taxes next year, though.  Joint is probably smarter, but I am struggling with that idea.
  • I did joint + separate accounts the first time around, and it worked well.  I'm really hoping to get back to that, if only NotFroofy can find a job.
  • We have seperate account as well as a joint checking and savings.  We deposit the same amount into the joint accts to pay the mortgage and to build a savings.  I pay some bills, he pays some.  It all works out.
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  • We got married 4 years ago.  It was my second marriage, his first. We've kept almost everything seperate.  We have combined some things, such as one savings, our mortgage for our country home (the city home is in my name alone, as I bought it prior to our marriage), and car insurance because it's cheaper through his company, and I'm not eligible for that company alone.  However, we have kept our checking seperate--with our direct deposits going to those.  We make about the same money now, but I made a lot more than he did when we first married, and I didn't want to get screwed again, as I had during my previous divorce. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • We are hitting the 2 year mark on living together and up until the start of April we had everything separate and we each paid one half of all of the bills, food, housing etc...but the more we started to pay for wedding items and the more we saved for new household replacements it got a little more of one of us paying for more than the other.  I bring into the picture my 2 daugthers that live at home with us and he insisted that he pay for some of their needs.  I was the one who always wanted to keep it separate and now its just easier to combine everything.  It was a big step for me because I was in charge of all of the bills in my last marriage and I hated it.  I don't think my ex even knew how to write a check and that wasn't me trying to teach him.  FI loves to help me shop,  stick to the budget, and save so I am starting to feel more relaxed about our roles and working together to keep our financial goals in play.
  • We will keep everything separate. I got burned pretty bad with finances in my 1st marriage and will not make those same mistakes again. We do have a joint account for wedding expenses and after the wedding it will become a savings for vacations. Wer are even going to file taxes separatly because it works best in our situation.
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  • We are both in our 40's so we decided that once we get married we will have one joint account for the household, and then we will have our own separate accounts for play money.  The joint account gets 90% and we get to each keep 10% of our earnings to play with.
  • My fiance is 40, I am 43.  It is a first marriage for both.  We're living separately until we are married.
    We are keeping any assets gained before the marriage separate (my suggestion - he's not thrilled about it), and creating a joint account to use together from the time of our marriage forward.  As for my house (he is selling his), I plan on having him give me 1/2 of my current equity, and putting his name on the house, and we will pay the mortgage jointly once we are married.  Then it will belong to both of us. (I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing this, so if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know!).

    It all sounds so complicated now that I type it out.  LOL.  This would all be so much easier if we were in our 20's and hadn't accumulated anything yet.  :(
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    Good question.  I think there are as many variations as there are couples.  Here's how we're doing things (for now):

    Background.  I lost my job in Sept 2009.  H sold his house in April 2011 (barely came out even) and moved into my house, which I bought in 2008.  After 22 months of unemployment, I landed a job; I started the new job 2 days after the wedding.  A few weeks after that, I added H's name to the title of the house.  Oh yeah, my son started college in August.

    Each of us maintains our separate checking accounts.  H added me to his savings account. I have not added him to mine. I pay the mortgage, cell phone bill (whopper, thanks to the teenager) and my portion of my son's tuition.  H pays all household bills, buys the groceries, etc.  We need to get a will

  • we will probably keep our separate accounts and open up a joint account. 
  • Do what is comfortable for you. My husband (33) and I (29) just got married a month ago and we've decided to have one joint checking for household bills and then keep a seperate savings for ourselves. Everything gets direct deposit into our joint and then we each move like $100 a paycheck to our savings. That is our own spending money and we can do with it what we want.
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  • Hello, good topic. My fiancee and will have a joint account because he's more comfortable with me handling our finances. He will always have a say on how we manage and budgeting and spend money because I'm totally comfortable with that. He will still have an account for himself and so will I. For us is not about hiding money fom each other. but he and I had a conversation long before we set a date to get married. We even talked about what kinds of insurance policies we should get. This subject is something everyone should have when they are deciding to get married. For us it's not about control, it's about making perfect sense what works for us. You need to figure out who's the spender and who's the saver. If you both are spenders then sharing an accounts may not work for you. If you both are savers in the relationship, then sharing an account may work or may not, It depends on what's best and what your comfortable with for your marriage. My fiancee made the decision without hesidation to have me control the money. He is totally comfortable with doing that. That requires some trust between the two of you. I was told by a man who is married and very happy with his wife stil,l he loves the fact his wife controls their finances. She's good with their budget and the bills. So again this totally depends on what's best for you.   
  • Stay forever bless
  • We were just discussing this today. Right now, we are living together and have separate accounts. He transfers money into my account every month for the mortgage and utilities. We tradeoff on buying groceries and paying for dinners or a social event. We do have a joint "wedding fund" account that we each deposit money every pay period. We will use this account after the wedding for household expenses but keep our own separate accounts for our own spending.
  • We are keeping things separate.  Since he moved in with me, most of our bills were already on auto draft through my bank account.   He just writes me a check for his share of it every month.  Groceries, eating out, and fun money seems to even itself out.  We may open a joint savings after the wedding but what we're doing right now is working so we don't want to mess with it.
  • We kept what we each had going in to the marriage separate but everything after getting married is in a joint account. We have been married almost 3 years now. Texas is a common law state so everything acquired since getting married is considered joint property anyway. Anything before marriage or iherited can be owned separately if kept separate. He had a nasty divorce and we were almost 50 when we married. So as a precaution and to each have control of money for retirement we have our separate accounts.
  • A question to add to this question:  My fiance is in the military and will have three years until his 20 year retirement when we get married.  We have no plans (at the moment) to move to where he's stationed since I have a house and a well paying job here.  He will be deployed within four months of us getting married for a 6 month period and will more than likely give up the apartment and put everything in storage.  We currently have a joint wedding account and plan to re-finance the house after we get married to a VA loan.  When should we join accounts?  I was thinking keep the wedding account as our savings and keep our separate accounts until he retires in 2017.  I'll be 37, he'll be 35 when we get married. He's a much better saver than I am.
  • I am 53, we are keeping separate accounts and not comingling our money at all. He will transfer money into my checking account for his portion of the bills each month and we have one credit card (in my name only, but he is a user) that we use for all of our entertainment money . We each put money in a savings account each month to cover that bill (same amount every month) and then we pay the bill at the end of the month. Its so great this way because we don't have to worry about who picks up the tab when we go out, etc.
  •     This is my first, but his second marriage. We currently don't live together and finances are completely separate until after the wedding. I'm hoping we have one joint account to pay bills and then our own separate accounts for fun money.
       However, his first marriage broke up due to infidelity on his ex-wife's part. One of the ways she hid her affair was having separate accounts so it took him longer to figure out she was spending money on the affair. He may want to keep all of our finances combined for better transparency in our marriage and I'm good with that. The only thing that would make me sad about it is that he loves when I plan surprise vacations for us. All during our courtship I would plan vacations and only tell him the dates and what clothes to pack. If our finances are completely joined I think it could be harder to do that and still have it be a surprise. Silly I know, LOL. 
  • We have joint & seperate. We each get a set "allowance" each paycheck to do with whatever we please. How each of us uses that money is our own business and we don't have to answer to the other for it. Hubby tends to use his for going out to lunch with co-workers or golf in the summer. I use mine for some of my crafting hobbies. This money goes into our individual accounts and we don't check up on each other for that. The rest goes into a joint account for paying bills. I handle the bills but that is because he's not good with it and asked me to, we do have regular discussions about how finances are and where we need to make adjustments.
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