Addressing the save the dates with printed labels

Chan245 · August 2013

My friend told me to save time I can type up my guests' addresses on labels and print them off for the save the dates. I know you CANNOT do this with the invitations. I thought labels were tacky and against etiquette regardless which stage of the wedding you are in - save the dates, invitations, thank you notes, etc. What's the rule here?

KeptInStitches · August 2013

Etiquette might say it's tacky.

Etiquette aside - and yes, I know I'm on the etiquette board - it would be such a non-issue in my world if I got one of your STD's/invitations/thank-you notes with a printed label.

allispain · August 2013

Eh - I'm not a fan of printed labels (to me it seems more business than personal) but I wouldn't make a big deal about it. Would I prefer hand written? Yes. Did I hand write all my addresses on STDs? Yes.

LDubHawksFan · August 2013

I've also thought this is an etiquette rule that is not as much of a big deal for most. I agree that most labels don't look that nice and kind of junk-mailish, so what I did for our invitations is I created the mail merger list and printed with a calligraphy sort of font directly on the envelope. It still looked nice.

Chan245 · August 2013

Thanks for the input! I only have 70 to address so I was already going to hand address them. I was curious what the rule was after my friend suggested that. My mom volunteered to address our invitations in calligraphy - wow!

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

It wouldn't offend me to get something with labels but Id think it cheapens the piece since it looks the same as the way my junk mail is addressed to me.

For some reason, I don't judge clear labels though.

Kate61487 · August 2013

labels look tacky regardless of which piece of mail it's on, but it's not the end of the world. Directly printing on the envelope does look a little nicer, but hand addressing isn't that difficult and can save lots of headaches with mis-aligned printer issues and guest names that are too long to print on one line.

When I get a nice, calligraphy-ish printed envelope in the mail I assume it's from DirectTV once again "inviting" me to join their service. (seriously, I get at least one a month, and they straight up look like a formal invitation). So printing on the envelope doesn't save you from people thinking it's junk mail.

WonderRed · August 2013

Clearly, a nicely hand written envelope is prettier and feels more personal, but I certainly wouldn't judge something that was printed on a label vs. handmade by a professional calligrapher with organic ink derived from home grown beets and berries. I'm generally just happy and grateful to get an invitation in the mail, if one arrives.

FutureMrsN3312 · August 2013

MuppetOverlord said:

It wouldn't offend me to get something with labels but Id think it cheapens the piece since it looks the same as the way my junk mail is addressed to me.

For some reason, I don't judge clear labels though.

We had to send out close to 100 STDs. I thought about handwriting (but was kind of in a rush to get them out. My mom's BFF's daughter decided to get married the same day as us and we will be inviting some of the same people)...thought about spending 90+ bucks to have them preprinted (that was just for the return address)...finally decided to just use clear labels. I did a mail merge, picked out a nice script font and made it hot pink to match the STD. Unless you looked really close you couldn't tell. A few people even commented on how nice they looked. (they assumed bc I work for a copier company I printed on the envelope)

shannyb41 · August 2013

I honestly don't think it's a big deal. Hand written looks nicer but I don't think anything of one that is printed or has a label.

I hand wrote my save the date envelopes but I printed directly on the envelope for the invitations.

TheBaysideBride · August 2013

Not a big deal at all. We did about 150 STDs, and I think it cost about $600 to hand write the addresses via caligrapher. NOT worth it at all if we were more strapped for $$. The invitation, fine, yes, worth it if you are doing formal invites. But the STD, no one cared, and we had a very fun STD that people would have loved if my nephew had had written in 4-yr-old printing. don't break the bank for the STDs.

harper0813 · August 2013

I hand wrote 100 envelopes for STDs (and did the same for invites). It took me like 2 hours. It was worth it.

APDSS22 · August 2013

I hand wrote mine a couple at a time. I have decent handwriting and think they looked fine. If you use labels I'm pretty sure the secret etiquette police won't come in and assassinate you as they will be too busy elsewhere with people not writing thank you notes, having cash bars and tiered receptions.

TheBaysideBride · August 2013

HAHAHA future mrs - very good.

and i'm about 50 thank you notes behind!!!

if only i had hired a thank you note writer INSTEAD of a caligrapher

SP29 · August 2013

We didn't have STDs, but for our envelopes, we addressed them using a cursive font and printed them out.

My FH created a template using the longest guest names we had to ensure they would all fit on one line, but once that was done, it was easy to address them individually. They turned out really nice- I have pretty nice writing, but I write quite large and there likely would have been a few where I wasn't able to keep the names on a single line. Using our computer/printer everything was centered and clear.

Either way though, I don't think it matters as long as they are properly addressed. Considering most people throw out the envelope anyway, is someone going to remember if their envelope was hand addressed or used a label?

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

And what part of this was rude, exactly? That some people think labels aren't awesome?

APDSS22 · August 2013

TheBaysideBride said:
HAHAHA future mrs - very good.
and i'm about 50 thank you notes behind!!!
if only i had hired a thank you note writer INSTEAD of a caligrapher

At least you're getting to it! I still have yet to receive thank you notes for about half the weddings I've been to. It makes me a wee bit bitter on the subject. And if the assassin squad of etiquette does exist, I'm sure they at least give you a couple months...

SingleMom31 · August 2013

MuppetOverlord said:

And what part of this was rude, exactly? That some people think labels aren't awesome?

@muppetoverlord Historically, address labels were limited to companies/organizations that do mass mailings. It wasn't until the 90s that printers were widely available in homes where people could use them to make labels. So, you had to either hand address them or pay someone to do it.

That said, it is still considered a breach of etiquette to use them and many people view it as being impersonal. It's kind of like the impersonal Christmas cards with a picture of Little Joey and a preprinted sentiment -- Once you slap an address label on it, how is it different than any other piece of junk mail that you receive? I view it as: If your guests matter enough to you to personally invite them, why wouldn't you take the extra few minutes to address the envelope yourself, properly (including writing out full names, not using abbreviations, etc.)? Now, some argue that it's the thought that counts and that their handwriting is horrific enough that a label is actually preferable (hence how it's being considered by some as a victimless crime), but many people still judge you for that. (As someone that had to learn calligraphy as part of finishing school and does handwrite all invitations/thank you notes/cards/other correspondence, I'll admit that I judge.)

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

SingleMom31 said:

MuppetOverlord said:

And what part of this was rude, exactly? That some people think labels aren't awesome?

@muppetoverlord Historically, address labels were limited to companies/organizations that do mass mailings. It wasn't until the 90s that printers were widely available in homes where people could use them to make labels. So, you had to either hand address them or pay someone to do it.
That said, it is still considered a breach of etiquette to use them and many people view it as being impersonal. It's kind of like the impersonal Christmas cards with a picture of Little Joey and a preprinted sentiment -- Once you slap an address label on it, how is it different than any other piece of junk mail that you receive? I view it as: If your guests matter enough to you to personally invite them, why wouldn't you take the extra few minutes to address the envelope yourself, properly (including writing out full names, not using abbreviations, etc.)? Now, some argue that it's the thought that counts and that their handwriting is horrific enough that a label is actually preferable (hence how it's being considered by some as a victimless crime), but many people still judge you for that. (As someone that had to learn calligraphy as part of finishing school and does handwrite all invitations/thank you notes/cards/other correspondence, I'll admit that I judge.)

LOL thanks for the explanation. That's not what I was asking by my post though. The OP wrote a note about how mean we are in our posts on CC so I went through all her posts where she got good advice to discover where we are rude or mean on them all to her.

SingleMom31 · August 2013

@muppetoverlord - Oh, my bad.

Sorry!

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

No, my bad for seeming totally random! My apologies!

See? We're nice!

PrettyGirlLost · August 2013

SingleMom31 said:

MuppetOverlord said:

And what part of this was rude, exactly? That some people think labels aren't awesome?

@muppetoverlord Historically, address labels were limited to companies/organizations that do mass mailings. It wasn't until the 90s that printers were widely available in homes where people could use them to make labels. So, you had to either hand address them or pay someone to do it.
That said, it is still considered a breach of etiquette to use them and many people view it as being impersonal. It's kind of like the impersonal Christmas cards with a picture of Little Joey and a preprinted sentiment -- Once you slap an address label on it, how is it different than any other piece of junk mail that you receive? I view it as: If your guests matter enough to you to personally invite them, why wouldn't you take the extra few minutes to address the envelope yourself, properly (including writing out full names, not using abbreviations, etc.)? Now, some argue that it's the thought that counts and that their handwriting is horrific enough that a label is actually preferable (hence how it's being considered by some as a victimless crime), but many people still judge you for that. (As someone that had to learn calligraphy as part of finishing school and does handwrite all invitations/thank you notes/cards/other correspondence, I'll admit that I judge.)

Honestly, I don't see using labels as any breach of etiquette. How exactly is that considered rude? Not liking the way something looks, or claiming something is tacky, is not the same as something being considered rude. Labels or computer printed envelopes do not put our guests out in any fashion, nor cause them discomfort.

I think it's really cool that you learned calligraphy, but I am willing to bet the majority of people on these boards probably don't know how to do it, and to hire a calligrapher is outrageously expensive.

I'm not spending $1000+ for someone to address 20-30 invitations for me, (I'd actually need 200) especially when, as others have pointed out, most people just throw the envelopes out once they have been opened.

Hell, a lot or people in the US can't even write in cursive anymore. . . do they even teach it in schools now? It's a shame.

My handwriting went to shit in college when I had to take notes during lectures, so no one is getting any kind of hand addressed anything from me!

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

They taught me cursive in 3rd grade. That was the last time I used it. I'd rather they bring back arts than give me an academic B- for having ugly handwriting as a third grader and having my grandfather get annoyed with me for having all As and a B- in something "so controllable" to throw it off. (nice guy...yep). Yeah, I'm bitter.

Anyway, I don't really have a handwriting. I've used a computer since 1988.

APDSS22 · August 2013

I write better with my non-dominant hand than both of my siblings do with their dominant hands. The one thing I'm good at from elementary school is slowly becoming more and more worthless as everyone uses a computer/phone now.

(This is why I still send handwritten Christmas cards, I'm vain like that...)

PrettyGirlLost · August 2013

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

I write better with my non-dominant hand than both of my siblings do with their dominant hands. The one thing I'm good at from elementary school is slowly becoming more and more worthless as everyone uses a computer/phone now.

(This is why I still send handwritten Christmas cards, I'm vain like that...)

I think it's beautiful when ppl have nice penmanship, and I love getting hand-written cards from people who have nice handwriting!

I'm just not going to side-eye or judge people who don't have good handwriting- I work with MDs and PhDs- talk about BAD writing ;-)

And I'm not going to side eye/judge people who use labels/computer print on envelopes for weddings. I just can't see that as rude.

APDSS22 · August 2013

PrettyGirlLost said:

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

I write better with my non-dominant hand than both of my siblings do with their dominant hands. The one thing I'm good at from elementary school is slowly becoming more and more worthless as everyone uses a computer/phone now.

(This is why I still send handwritten Christmas cards, I'm vain like that...)

I think it's beautiful when ppl have nice penmanship, and I love getting hand-written cards from people who have nice handwriting!

I'm just not going to side-eye or judge people who don't have good handwriting- I work with MDs and PhDs- talk about BAD writing ;-)

And I'm not going to side eye/judge people who use labels/computer print on envelopes for weddings. I just can't see that as rude.

No, I totally agree. I'd rather get a label-printed invite than one written out in such bad handwriting that I don't know if it's for me or the guy that used to live here. It doesn't bother me. The response cards for my friend's wedding had labels on them and I just assumed she wanted to make sure the postman didn't lose them.

Maggie0829 · August 2013

The way I see it, whether it was hand addressed, printed directly on the envelope, a label, or crazy artistic calligraphy, you are still be invited to a wedding. The invite alone should be meaningful and personal, not how it was addressed.

NYCBruin · August 2013

Since the printed label rule predates the recent trend of save the dates, I think you're totally in the clear using labels.

I also don't really care about labels being used ever. Having a first name that is spelled several different ways and marrying someone whose name is frequently misspelled as well, if you get both our names spelled correctly we're doing the happy dance. And certainly don't notice if a label was involved.

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

See OP? Still getting nice responses!

Addressing the save the dates with printed labels

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