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Learning to let go of SIL Drama

QkellygirlQkellygirl
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in Wedding Woes

My fiance has two sisters and he, his mom and Sister 1 (H) are mad at sister 2 (K) for her drama queen behavior. My FIL was in the hospital last week with cardiac problems that they are blaming on Sister 2 always causing chaos and making Dad worry. I was proud of my fiance for standing up to her manipulative ways last week (he usually avoids all confrontation) and as much as its killing me, I'm staying out of it because I'm not yet legally part of the family.

People are asking me if I'm worried that this tension will ruin my wedding and to be honest I'm more worried about Dad's health. The wedding will be lovely no matter what, but Dad could easily become ill again if he worries over K. Do you guys think I should speak my peace after we're married (End of Sept) or just continue to be quiet? There are potential legal issues that could affect fiance and me (power of attorney, Dad's wishes if he becomes incapacitated, etc) and to be honest I think K needs a good telling off. My MIL wants me to do it, thats how bad K is!

Thanks for any feedback

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Re: Learning to let go of SIL Drama

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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Qkellygirl said:

    My MIL wants me to do it, thats how bad K is!

    No.  Just no.  What a hot mess.
    �
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    cruffinocruffino member
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    i think its wise to keep a distance. you may be marrying in to their mess but you don't have to participate. 
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    PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Answer Name Dropper

    Qkellygirl said:

    My fiance has two sisters and he, his mom and Sister 1 (H) are mad at sister 2 (K) for her drama queen behavior. My FIL was in the hospital last week with cardiac problems that they are blaming on Sister 2 always causing chaos and making Dad worry. I was proud of my fiance for standing up to her manipulative ways last week (he usually avoids all confrontation) and as much as its killing me, I'm staying out of it because I'm not yet legally part of the family.

    People are asking me if I'm worried that this tension will ruin my wedding and to be honest I'm more worried about Dad's health. The wedding will be lovely no matter what, but Dad could easily become ill again if he worries over K. Do you guys think I should speak my peace after we're married (End of Sept) or just continue to be quiet? There are potential legal issues that could affect fiance and me (power of attorney, Dad's wishes if he becomes incapacitated, etc) and to be honest I think K needs a good telling off. My MIL wants me to do it, thats how bad K is!

    Thanks for any feedback

    This makes me think that my drama whore assessment in your other post was pretty accurate. This is between your FI and his family. "First Lady of Child with Father's Power of Attorney" is a meaningless title - get a sash made, buy a tiara, but MYOB. 
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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You'll never be part of the family. You'll always be an in-law. In-laws are one step below outlaw, Stay out of it
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Let me be more clear, b/c every time I read your post, I see more red flags.

    DH is your family.  The rest still are not.  If you decide to indulge everyone's passive-aggressive wishes for you to "tell her off", YOU will the the one to pay for it, for a very long time.  His family is not going to stand up for you, to her.  They don't stand up to her NOW.  She is going to make your FI's life a living hell about this.  Support your FI, practice conversations and ideas with him to keep him standing up to her, but do not do it yourself.  Do not feed into this family's messy relationships.
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    dharmabunnydharmabunny member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Good God, that whole damn side of the family. Its genetic! Passive aggressive confrontation dodging wussouts, drama queens, drama whoring a cardiac event and pinning all of that on a convenient scapegoat. And they're getting fresh blood.

    Yeah, don't fall for the MIL bit. Stay the fuck out of that hornets nest.
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