Food and Cakes

Alcohol vs dry wedding

My FH and I are at odds with whether to have alcohol at our reception or not. I'm very torn on the subject since i want my guests to have a good time (most of our friends expect an open bar) while majority of my family doesn't drink alcohol period. He thinks we should have the alcohol as kind of a "courtesy" (his word not mine). What should i do?

Re: Alcohol vs dry wedding

  • This is your wedding and totally up to you two. If you don't want booze, that's ok. If you want to have beer and wine only, that's ok. If you want a full bar, that's ok. The only thing not ok is a cash bar. Just talk some more about it and own whatever decision you make.
    NYCMercedes
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!)
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    BRS11 said:
    My FH and I are at odds with whether to have alcohol at our reception or not. I'm very torn on the subject since i want my guests to have a good time (most of our friends expect an open bar) while majority of my family doesn't drink alcohol period. He thinks we should have the alcohol as kind of a "courtesy" (his word not mine). What should i do?
    Does an open bar fit in your budget?  How about beer, wine and a signature drink or two as a compromise?
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    BRS11 said:
    My FH and I are at odds with whether to have alcohol at our reception or not. I'm very torn on the subject since i want my guests to have a good time (most of our friends expect an open bar) while majority of my family doesn't drink alcohol period. He thinks we should have the alcohol as kind of a "courtesy" (his word not mine). What should i do?
    What about his family? Are they coming, and if so, do they drink?

    You don't have to have an open bar, or any bar, but if your friends and anyone from his side wouldn't feel comfortable at a dry wedding or one with limited alcohol, they may well leave early.

    Come up with some kind of compromise.  Your non-drinking relatives don't have to drink any alcohol you might choose to serve.
  • I vote booze!
    AnnastasiaZ
  • I vote booze, but I am biased because I am from a family and circle of friends that all enjoy cocktails at a party.

    It's your call, but make sure you and your FI are on the same page. I think having beer and wine only might be a great compromise--those who want to get their drink on will have choices and you won't spend as much money per person that might be wasted if you have a lot of non-drinkers.

    Also, if your guest list is mostly non-drinking, you should consider a bar where you just pay according to how much is actually consumed rather than paying a flat-rate per guest.  In my crowd a consumption bar would be a huge nightmare, but if most people didn't drink or only drank a little bit it would be a lot cheaper than paying the flat-rate per head.

    NYCMercedes
  • I don't drink wine or beer and neither does my husband so we did an open bar with assorted alcohol and mixers. We did have two types of beer and 3 types of wine for guests who don't drink mixed drinks. The decision is ultimately yours but my vote is open bar !
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    AnnastasiaZ
  • Do you and FI drink? What time is e wedding? How long is the wedding? What type of wedding do you want? How much of a concern is budget? If you have it in the budget, I would have an open bar or beer/wine available.
  • I'm battling this too, alcohol vs. dry wedding.  I am having my wedding held (at least trying to) on a Sunday.  Ceremony at 12 noon and reception at 1p.  I figured on a Sunday early afternoon, people won't be too concerned about having liquor so I am leaning on no booze.  And also because the venue I am having it held at is charging close to 3,000 to have open bar and 2,000 to have beer wine and liquor.  Now the only people at my wedding that drink are my fiance's groomsmen and my bridal party....we will be getting a couple of bottles for the bridal suite.  My concept is, it's your wedding, you decide what you want there.  You are paying for people to eat....they should be happy for that.
  • i would do a limited bar 2 types of wine one red one white. 2 kinds of beer  a craft bear and regular beer like bud, have 1-2 signature drinks ones that can be made with the alcohol that can also be made into a mocktail, and offer soda to the non drinkers 
  • The ceremony starts at 3:00 pm; our reception is at 4:00 pm until 10:30 pm. His family and friends are coming and most people expect an open bar. I'm just really uncomfortable with having alcohol there especially since people will be driving home afterwards. I'd prefer to avoid the token wedding guest who gets wasted and knocks over the wedding cake or something equally as obnoxious :/

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl
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    Have you ever seen anyone knock over the cake?
    BRS11 said:

    The ceremony starts at 3:00 pm; our reception is at 4:00 pm until 10:30 pm. His family and friends are coming and most people expect an open bar. I'm just really uncomfortable with having alcohol there especially since people will be driving home afterwards. I'd prefer to avoid the token wedding guest who gets wasted and knocks over the wedding cake or something equally as obnoxious :/


    Is there a question here?
    TheVirginians
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    Have you ever seen anyone knock over the cake?
    BRS11 said:

    The ceremony starts at 3:00 pm; our reception is at 4:00 pm until 10:30 pm. His family and friends are coming and most people expect an open bar. I'm just really uncomfortable with having alcohol there especially since people will be driving home afterwards. I'd prefer to avoid the token wedding guest who gets wasted and knocks over the wedding cake or something equally as obnoxious :/


    Is there a question here?
    There is in the OP.
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl
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    @jen4948, you noticed was addressed by PP?
    TheVirginians
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    @jen4948, you noticed was addressed by PP?
    That post you quoted, as I'm sure you know, was a follow up.  So what difference did it make if there was a question or not?  All you did was alienate her for no reason with your one-liner.  She wasn't advocating any breaches of etiquette.
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl
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    edited August 2013
    @jen4948? Obviously a followup. You speaking on behalf of the OP? You know the OP was alienated? You trying to stir something up here? I don't get it.
    TheVirginians
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    @jen4948? Obviously a followup. You speaking on behalf of the OP? You know the OP was alienated? You trying to stir something up here? I don't get it.
    All the hostility is coming from you.  Your "Is there a question here?" post doesn't make sense.
    vainemerald
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl
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    Please do not out your problems or issues on me. @jen4948
    TheVirginiansDreamergirl8812
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    Please do not out your problems or issues on me. @jen4948
    They aren't my problems or issues.  For some reason you chose to respond in a hostile way to the OP, and it's not clear why.
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl
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    edited August 2013
    Please do not put YOUR interpretation on my post. I consider that you are harassing me. @knotporscha
  • Jen4948 said:
    Please do not out your problems or issues on me. @jen4948
    They aren't my problems or issues.  For some reason you chose to respond in a hostile way to the OP, and it's not clear why.
    What was hostile about her response?

    You keep going around threads accusing people of posting the "wrong" way.  

    I don't know if you think you're "standing up" for posters who haven't voiced complaints or if you're just trying to stir shit up, but either way it's borderline harassment.

    @KnotPorscha can you weigh in here?
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    NYCMercedes
  • Hey Everyone! Let's try to stay on topic in this thread and see if the OP or anyone else has any further questions. This thread is beginning to be attacking and I will contact users privately if needed.




  • Hey Everyone! Let's try to stay on topic in this thread and see if the OP or anyone else has any further questions. This thread is beginning to be attacking and I will contact users privately if needed.

    Thank you! I really wasn't trying to start any problems between anyone. The last post I did was an update on my original post (just making that clear to alieviate any confusion)

  • I vote booze.  I'm assuming there will be a selection of non-alcoholic drinks available for non-drinkers.

    Your guests that are of drinking age are adults and should be treated as such.  Most venue bartenders have been trained to cut people off if necessary   If you're super concerned about drunk driving consider renting a shuttle or have lots of cab number handy.

    FI likes to drink but he doesn't want to pay for it.  (Cash bars are common in his circle).  I told him we're hosting or we're not having it.  Our current plan is beer, wine, and a signature cocktail or two to negate costs.   Yay compromise :)
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet
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    Booze! Have the option isn't forcing people to drink who normally don't. It just gives the option.



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    AllyIdo
  • Do a beer-wine-cocktail option no hard liquor.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Yes alcohol for the adults who want to drink. Although I think the concern about drinking and driving is a valid one it is not really up to the party throwers to decide on serving alcohol based on that. If anything the bar should close an hour or so before you expect to make your farewell.

     

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