Adult ring bearers?

sharight124 · August 2013

My FI and I have been talking about who is going to be in our wedding parties. We are going to be having a relatively informal wedding and so large wedding parties are out of the question. Plus, I would never be able to come up with as many bridesmaids as he would have groomsmen. Here's the deal. He's already decided who he would like in his WP, his 2 brothers and his 2 best friends. I have 3 brothers as well and we are trying to find a way to incorporate them into the ceremony. He also has another friend he would like to include. We decided that 2 of my brothers could do readings of some kind. But that still leaves one brother and his friend.

So we came up with the idea that my brother and his friend would be 'Ring Security' and be our ring bearers. They are 22 and 25 years old. My question is whether or not that is appropriate. We would have a 6 year old flower girl and the only young boys that are of 'ring bearer' stereotypical age, we are not particularly close with. And we would really like my brother and his friend to play a role.

So, appropriate or not?

KeptInStitches · August 2013

That seems ... odd. You're right, ring bearers and flower girls are usually young, and your brother and his friend are unlikely to want to do this. Could you get them boutineers and make sure you include them in pictures instead?

WildMagelet · September 2013

You don't have to have even sides and it doesn't have to be men on one side and women on the other. If you want them to be in the WP ask them to be in the WP as bridesmen or groomsmen.

No adults I know would want to be given the role of a FG or RB.

Xstatic3333 · September 2013

I've been to informal weddings with large WPs before. If you can budget for it, just make everyone you want to honor (within reason) attendants! Sides don't have to be even, and your brothers could be on your side.

davisse3 · September 2013

I have been to a wedding with a 24 year old ring bearer for similar reasons. He didn't mind at all - though he has an extremely outgoing personality. That being said, he was a ring bearer, with pillow and there was no flower girl (it was originally going to be a young girl, but she had to drop out last minute) and I did still find it a little strange.

Ring security, to me, already feels a little gimicky with a kid. Having two adults be "ring security" would feel only intensify that.

As PP have said, there is nothing wrong with having uneven sides. There is also nothing wrong with having your brothers stand with you. What about one or both of those options?

sharight124 · August 2013

But then the question is, does my last brother feel left out because he has no role and the other 2 do?

NYCMercedes · August 2013

sharight124 said:

My FI and I have been talking about who is going to be in our wedding parties. We are going to be having a relatively informal wedding and so large wedding parties are out of the question. Plus, I would never be able to come up with as many bridesmaids as he would have groomsmen. Here's the deal. He's already decided who he would like in his WP, his 2 brothers and his 2 best friends. I have 3 brothers as well and we are trying to find a way to incorporate them into the ceremony. He also has another friend he would like to include. We decided that 2 of my brothers could do readings of some kind. But that still leaves one brother and his friend.
So we came up with the idea that my brother and his friend would be 'Ring Security' and be our ring bearers. They are 22 and 25 years old. My question is whether or not that is appropriate. We would have a 6 year old flower girl and the only young boys that are of 'ring bearer' stereotypical age, we are not particularly close with. And we would really like my brother and his friend to play a role.
So, appropriate or not?

sharight124 said:

But then the question is, does my last brother feel left out because he has no role and the other 2 do?

Your last brother probably would be thanking his maker that he wasn't a ring guard. Seriously, f you want your brothers in the WP, have them stand up on your side.

Blue_Bird · September 2013

NYCMercedes said:

show previous quotes

sharight124 said:

My FI and I have been talking about who is going to be in our wedding parties. We are going to be having a relatively informal wedding and so large wedding parties are out of the question. Plus, I would never be able to come up with as many bridesmaids as he would have groomsmen. Here's the deal. He's already decided who he would like in his WP, his 2 brothers and his 2 best friends. I have 3 brothers as well and we are trying to find a way to incorporate them into the ceremony. He also has another friend he would like to include. We decided that 2 of my brothers could do readings of some kind. But that still leaves one brother and his friend.
So we came up with the idea that my brother and his friend would be 'Ring Security' and be our ring bearers. They are 22 and 25 years old. My question is whether or not that is appropriate. We would have a 6 year old flower girl and the only young boys that are of 'ring bearer' stereotypical age, we are not particularly close with. And we would really like my brother and his friend to play a role.
So, appropriate or not?

show previous quotes

sharight124 said:

But then the question is, does my last brother feel left out because he has no role and the other 2 do?

Your last brother probably would be thanking his maker that he wasn't a ring guard. Seriously, f you want your brothers in the WP, have them stand up on your side.

Agreed.

Dreamergirl8812 · September 2013

This reminds me of another post where the OP wanted to make her 2 little nephews "ring security" and was going to give them little briefcases (which they would be handcuffed to, natch).

misssunshine17 · September 2013

I think this is completely inappropriate and embarrassing for them. I would side eye it.

aRachel21 · September 2013

Omg so embarrassing! Please do not make them ring security!
I agree with another PP who said to have your bros on your side. Then your FI can have his bros and his friends.

RedJacks25 · September 2013

mimiphin · September 2013

Please GOD don't do that. What about making the brother an Usher?

SKPM · September 2013

True story: My husband and his friend (who would later be his best man) were 24 year-old ring bearers in our female friend's wedding. I was a bridesmaid along with 4 other girls. I think my friend, the bride, wanted to include her 2 guy friends in her WP but got caught up in the even sides/same gender sides business. Her groom had selected his 5 male attendants and she had us 5, so she had these 2 guys as ring bearers. FGs were her little nieces. It was weird, but she did have the 2 RBs basically stand with us bridesmaids so it probably looked fairly normal as if she just had 2 additional male attendants. Both guys got a kick out of it and were happy to be included, so I suppose it depends on your relationships and their particular personalities. I would just have them as attendants, readers, or first-row seated guests with boutonnieres, personally.

Adult ring bearers?

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