Wedding Invitations & Paper

family ceremony, adult only reception invite wording

We have limited space at our ceremony venue and therefore will be having an adult only reception. We love the children in our lives and are excited for them to witness our ceremony, but we just do not have the space at the reception. We would prefer to respectfully word this on the invitation rather than assume all will understand that only those listed on the invitation are invited OR  make personal contact with each one who rsvp's with their child(ren) included. How could we politely and respectfully word our request in our invitation? I understand that some believe stating on the invitation who is not invited is rude, but we politely disagree and therefore choose to be forthright in the wording of our invitations. Only helpful responses please.  

Re: family ceremony, adult only reception invite wording

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    First, you cannot invite people to the ceremony only, even if the people are four years old. Your invitation then, is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Jones Smith. That's pretty clear that only the adults are invited. If they reply that 3 or 4 are coming, call them up and tell them that the invitation was for only Mr. and Mrs. If they say they can't come without the kids, tell them you're sorry and will see them on a different occasion. In summary, it's all or nothing for the two events, and it is rude to tell people who is not invited on an invitation. Good luck.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    We have limited space at our ceremony venue and therefore will be having an adult only reception. We love the children in our lives and are excited for them to witness our ceremony, but we just do not have the space at the reception. We would prefer to respectfully word this on the invitation rather than assume all will understand that only those listed on the invitation are invited OR  make personal contact with each one who rsvp's with their child(ren) included. How could we politely and respectfully word our request in our invitation? I understand that some believe stating on the invitation who is not invited is rude, but we politely disagree and therefore choose to be forthright in the wording of our invitations. Only helpful responses please.  


    You make it clear you are aware of proper etiquette.  This forum is designed to help the newly engaged AVOID making etiquette mistakes.  The only helpful and appropriate response would be to reiterate what you already know:  Stating who is NOT invited on an invitation is rude, in poor taste, and impolite.  If you don't care about good manners, I don't know why you would be concerned about how you word your rudeness.  Making it pretty doesn't make it better.

    How about a cute sticker.  Everybody likes stickers!  

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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I don't understand the question. You know it's rude to specify who isn't invited, but you "politely disagree" so you're going to put it on the invitation? So what the fuck is the question?



    Anniversary
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  • There is no polite and respectful way to request this, because it is not a polite or respectful request.  The point of a reception is to receive the people who witnessed your ceremony and thank them for attending.  It's rude to issue an invitation to people to attend the ceremony only, because the reception is for them.  Just because these people are children does not mean it's OK to be rude to them.

    Besides, exactly how do you expect the parents to work that out?  Just leave the ceremony, drop the kid off at a sitter, and then come back?   That's inconsiderate to your adult guests.  What a waste of time and gas money.  Either don't invite the children to either part of the wedding or invite them to the whole thing.  Those are the polite choices.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    We have limited space at our ceremony venue and therefore will be having an adult only reception. We love the children in our lives and are excited for them to witness our ceremony, but we just do not have the space at the reception. We would prefer to respectfully word this on the invitation rather than assume all will understand that only those listed on the invitation are invited OR  make personal contact with each one who rsvp's with their child(ren) included. How could we politely and respectfully word our request in our invitation? I understand that some believe stating on the invitation who is not invited is rude, but we politely disagree and therefore choose to be forthright in the wording of our invitations. Only helpful responses please.  

    You can't politely disagree with etiquette.  If you want to ignore etiquette, that's fine, but it isn't polite.  It's rude.

    It's very rude to invite people to the ceremony but not the reception.  The fact that these people are children doesn't change this.  If you aren't inviting children to the reception, you can't invite them to the ceremony.  Outside of the fact that this is rude, consider the logistics.  The family comes to the ceremony, but now someone has to leave in the middle to take the kids to the sitter, and then you think they'll come back to the reception?  Not likely.  If the parents aren't bringing their kids to the reception, it doesn't make sense to take them to the ceremony.  

    If you want to be polite, do this by leaving their names off the invitation.  If you want to be rude, put "no kids" on your invitation.  
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