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Postponing the wedding...NEED ADVICE!!!

keriloveskennethkeriloveskenneth
in Wedding Woes
Hey everyone, 
I need some advice.  My FH and I have gone through some really hard times since being engaged... I'll just vaguely go over it...
1. After a very serious bout of depression I attempted suicide, and was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder.
2. We have have 2 job losses.
3. We have had both of our cars break down and had to buy 1 new one.
4. The bad dceisions I made before being diagnosed as being bipolar are now catching up with me and I have been struggling financially.

I really want to postpone the wedding a year, but my FH doesn't want to.  Right now I don't think my nerves can keep planning... I obviously love my FH soooo much and am amazed he has stuck with me through all of this, if that doesn't scream MARRY THIS MAN I don't know what does.  But I also don't want to start our marriage off with so much debt and just a general bad aura around us.  

My bridesmaids have already ordered their dresses and I'm so worried about what they will think, any advice on how I should approach that subject?
Also, I'm so worried about what his family will say... His mom already told him after my suicide attempt that he should leave me, and I'm worried what she will say when we announce that we're postponing because of me... Am I out of line to want to postpone? Would you guys go ahead and do it?
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Re: Postponing the wedding...NEED ADVICE!!!

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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    yes, you should completely and totally postpone.  You really have some things to work through and that is way so much more completely important than a wedding.  And you really need to make sure that you are okay and back on your feet, on the right track before marrying someone.
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    WildMageletWildMagelet member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    When is the wedding scheduled for?  If you aren't feeling 100% okay going forward with it then I would postpone, sooner rather than later.  

    Don't worry about what his family will think, if FMIL is the type of person to spread rumors or hypothesize publicly about why you're postponing she'd probably do it about something else instead.  

    I would just point out that regardless if you get married tomorrow or two years from now you're still going to be spending the same amount of time getting yourself out of debt and working on your mental health.  I'm glad you were diagnosed, are getting help and are on the road to recovery.
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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    Grabows14Grabows14 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    Do what you need to do in order to maintain your well-being. Maybe you need to communicate in a different way why this wedding planning is stressing you out to your FI. It sounds like he wants to be there through and through with you, but maybe he's pushing the wedding because he doesn't know how it is negatively affecting you. 

    You bring up a good point about being in debt. A wedding isn't supposed to put you in debt. Is there anyway you could keep the wedding date and have a wedding you could afford, or is it more that this isn't the right time in your life to get married? If the budget is a problem, utilize a program like the one that theknot.com has to show your FI why you both can't afford the wedding right now.

     Also reevaluate if you have the pre-wedding jitters, that could cause some of the anxiety. 
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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    simplykaylasimplykayla member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Answer Name Dropper
    I would postpone.
    I was actually in a similar situation. FI and I were initially engaged three years ago, but shortly after our engagement we went through a lot of life crap. I suffered from postpartum depression and attempted suicide. We put all wedding plans on hold until everything cleared up and until we could actually afford everything. We are finally getting married this October, and I am so glad that we chose to put everything on hold and wait until the time was really right. 

    The best thing you can do is just explain to everyone that unforseen circumstances have forced you to postpone, and that it is the best decision for the two of you right now. Make it clear that it has nothing to do with not wanting to be married, it's just the smarter decision for now.

    Good luck!
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