Invitation Etiquette

Re: Invitation Etiquette

• misssunshine17 member

  

  September 2013

  If this is what you want, I think they need to be two separate events, which means no crossover of guests. I think it would be super awkward if some went to the wedding and some didn't. Also, this 'west coast reception' shouldn't be a second wedding. No ceremony, no big white dress, no first dance, cake cutting, etc. 

  Report1 Reply
• SP29 member

  

  September 2013

  You should definitely have separate invitations to this party, because it is a completely separate event from your wedding. 

  Report0 Reply
• Blue_Bird member

  

  September 2013

  Send a different invitation after you are married. Make it very informal. In fact, I wouldn't call it a reception since you would have already had one, and that's not really what it is.
  

  Report0 Reply
• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  September 2013

  MissSunshine is right -- these need to be two separate events with no cross-over of guests. Anyone you invite to your wedding and reception should not be invited to the West Coast reception. At the West Coast reception, you don't do anything wedding-y -- no first dance, no bouquet/garter toss, no toasts, etc.
  
  (Opinions on TK are divided about wearing your wedding dress again and cutting the cake. Some Knotties are OK with it and others aren't. I fall into the "OK with it" camp, simply because I like seeing wedding dresses in person and also because in my family, the guest of honor always cuts his or her own cake. But if you do cut the cake, you don't feed it to each other).

  
  

  The invitations would read: 
  Mr. and Mrs. Kcasey2012 FILastName (or however you're going to be known -- this is a great opportunity to let people know how you're going to be known after your wedding if you're keeping your maiden name!)

  invite you to a reception to celebrate their marriage

  which took place on

  time/date/place

  
  

  RSVP etc.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

  Report1 Reply
• STARMOON44 member

  

  September 2013

  You don't send save the dates. In my book, those are to make sure people who really want to see you get married can. Since these people won't be given that option, they just need an invitation 6-8 weeks before the party.

  Report0 Reply
• kcasey2012

  

  September 2013

  Thanks everyone. We also don't want people to feel obligated to come all the way across the country to see us get married (i.e. fiances' older neighbors).
  
  I think maybe we'll invite everyone, and let them make the decision for themselves if they cannot come out. There will certainly be overlap in guests and I don't want anyone to feel slighted because they were not invited "to the real thing".
  
  Should have clarified "reception" ....which is going to be a casual backyard/block party style type party.
  

  Report0 Reply
• Blue_Bird member

  

  September 2013

  Thanks everyone. We also don't want people to feel obligated to come all the way across the country to see us get married (i.e. fiances' older neighbors). No one will feel obligated. Guests know that an invitation is not a summons. ;-)
  
  I think maybe we'll invite everyone, and let them make the decision for themselves if they cannot come out. There will certainly be overlap in guests and I don't want anyone to feel slighted because they were not invited "to the real thing".
  
  Should have clarified "reception" ....which is going to be a casual backyard/block party style type party. All I meant was that you shouldn't call it a reception when you send the invitations, as you won't be receiving any wedding guests.
  
  (Can't escape box!) Does this mean you are inviting all to the wedding?
  

  Report0 Reply
• Xstatic3333 member

  

  September 2013

  I vote for inviting everyone to the wedding! Nobody will feel obligated, I promise. Some, however, will feel honored. This also makes the etiquette for the west coast party a lot less messy.

  Report1 Reply
• Grabows14 member

  

  September 2013

  I agree with PPs. Invite everyone to the wedding, and then if you really want, when you visit California have a BBQ or something to see everyone, but not to celebrate like a wedding reception. 

  

  Report1 Reply
• NYCMercedes member

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  HisGirlFriday13 said:

  MissSunshine is right -- these need to be two separate events with no cross-over of guests. Anyone you invite to your wedding and reception should not be invited to the West Coast reception. At the West Coast reception, you don't do anything wedding-y -- no first dance, no bouquet/garter toss, no toasts, etc.
  
  (Opinions on TK are divided about wearing your wedding dress again and cutting the cake. Some Knotties are OK with it and others aren't. I fall into the "OK with it" camp, simply because I like seeing wedding dresses in person and also because in my family, the guest of honor always cuts his or her own cake. But if you do cut the cake, you don't feed it to each other).

  
  

  The invitations would read: 
  Mr. and Mrs. Kcasey2012 FILastName (or however you're going to be known -- this is a great opportunity to let people know how you're going to be known after your wedding if you're keeping your maiden name!)

  invite you to a reception to celebrate their marriage

  which took place on

  time/date/place

  
  

  RSVP etc.

  
  I recommend "celebration" rather than "reception", such as ... Request the pleasure of your company at a celebration of..., or the pleasure of your company to celebrate the marriage of x and y on whatever date, New York, New York.

  Report0 Reply